The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the month “July, 2011”

The Single Most Important Blog For Singles, Ever

The blog review continues. I should have recommended this blog months ago. I am remiss in my Manosphere/Red Pill duties and for this, I hang my head in shame.

OKCupid is one of the online dating websites that I use. It’s not really great in South Florida because Plenty of Fish is the 800 pound gorilla of online dating websites here. What makes OKCupid so unique is the very good data analysis of what their members are up to. The analysis is presented in a humorous and straightforward way. No dry statistis presented in the blog, just lots of pretty and informative graphics with some good writing.

Read every post here:

You’re welcome.

Blog Recommendation

I have found a righteously funny blog about a 30-something math teacher out in the Los Angeles, CA who is tearing up the dating scene with wit and very good writing. Want an example? How about this hilarious analogy for coitus:

pressure-washed the quiver bone in the squish mitten

The blog is written by Dave Glenn (pseudonym?) and he’s ruthlessly honest with himself and his experiences.  He’s not 100% a Red Pill man yet he’s coming close. He knows about Game. For the most part, he seems to grasp the nature of women. This guy would make a great addition to the dating/relationship division of the Manosphere.

His blog has been going on since 2008 so there are many posts and stories to read through. It’s good stuff.

I’m going to put him on my blog roll.

Oh, look! Leftover vodka! Gotta go.

Technology And Game – I Need Help On This Issue

While swimming in the dark verbal waters over at In Mala Fide, I came across a post about the “The Pickup Artist Scam“. Naturally, vitriol ensued in the comments. This was all highly entertaining for a wordy guy like me. Mining comments for the precious metal that is Manosphere wisdom is always a worthwhile endeavor. The commenters at In Mala Fide did not disappoint:

When I started going out to bars/clubs in the early-mid 2000s Bars and clubs were venues in which women came to actively seek and meet men. It was once socially acceptable and expected for men to approach women in this setting.

Gradually, I’ve noticed the dynamic in bars and nightclubs shifting. Rather than the singles/meat markets of yore, bars and clubs are now becoming venues for groups of friends to celebrate some sort of group event – birthday parties, stagettes, “girls night out” etc.

I blame cell phones, texting, BBM, Facebook, and social networking sites that make groups of friends connected to each other, yet form cliques and isolate themselves from the mainstream.

I used to see tons of 2 and 3 sets of women. These were the best and easiest to pull. I seldom see that anymore. They’re all in big groups in mixed social circles. Also seeing a lot more couples now.

Most of the girls are there to attention-whore for pictures to put up on Facebook. If the girls want dick, they’ll booty text the guy they’re dicking at the time when they get home from club at 3 AM, rather than fucking some random guy they met at the club that night.

The 2000s saw a dramatic acceleration in the growth of female-centric communications technology – namely, the explosion of texting, social networking, and online dating. Yet most PUA material was developed in the late 90s/early 2000s, before smartphones and Facebook.

PUA theory hasn’t kept pace with the evolution of communications technology, especially now that the “seduction community” has morphed into the “seduction industry”.

If Mystery and Style had to contend with today’s bar/club/night game environment (and not the late 90s), Mystery wouldn’t have developed his ingenious Mystery Method and Style wouldn’t have written The Game. They would have growing frustrated with the constant cell phones, the constant smartphones, the constant texting and Facebooking, the constant pics-with-digital-cameras and attention-wh*ring, the constant flaking – and quit. There would be no PUA community and no PUA industry

Of course, none of this was epidemic in the late 90s/early 00s because the technology didn’t exist.

[Ironically, the original post came from]

[Update, Aug 2, 2011. Boris has commented and corrected me on the original source of this. It actually comes from and not]

So I posit the question, is this true? As I am of a somewhat different generation and in a unique locale, I am ill-equipped to address this issue. Considered this an appeal for additional Manosphere wisdom.

In particular, I’d like to know how Game needs to adapt to a new technology landscape based on the female-centric modes of digital connections.

New Contract Job For Me

I’m back squarely in corporate America doing the cube monkey, wage ape thing. It’s a long term contract job and that always puts me in the unique position of being an outsider on the inside. One of the great things about working in a large, busy office building with hundreds of people is the opportunity to observe human interactions and the individual people.

I earn my pay by being a professional communicator. Usually I’m surrounded by technologists and these folks – most always men – don’t present good opportunities for learning but I could sure teach them something. Quite fortunately, this building contains all the departments necessary to run a capitalistic endeavor. So when I walk around I get to see the marketing folks – most always women – and the finance people as well as the legions of supporting departments. It’s endlessly fascinating to me and as I have taken the red pill, I see people through a completely different lens.

However there is a real problem here and it’s somewhat unique to South Florida, particularly Miami Dade County. English is not often spoken in casual conversation. Of course, business is conducted in English but the day do day casual interactions here are done in Spanish, Creole (Haitian or Jamaican), or a language from India. This is frustrating but not without benefits. I have to concentrate on the nuances of body language as I subtly observe how my new colleagues are communicating. This is taking a good deal of work.

There is also another benefit to such a multi-cultural company. The women dress and look better. White collar Latinas down here are well known for their stylish work outfits. Frankly, they look great. There is a great deal of eye candy in this building. I do not envy my fellow Manosphere bloggers working in parts of the world where the women folk are plagued with a flood of obesity and a drought of style.

As an aside, I’m reasonably good at what I do and so I have a surprising amount of free time to write my own stuff. Also, I always have my personal laptop and an aircard so I am free to hit any website without worrying about prying eyes on the company network.

As befitting a large, corporate headquarters, there is a subsidized cafeteria, ample and safe parking. It’s right off a major highway so there is little or no surface traffic nastiness that is generally unsafe for vulnerable motorcycle riders like me. The commute is long in distance but not so bad in time, about 35 minutes each way.

The final bonus here is that I don’t have to deal at all with Human Resources. I’m a contract employee and free of all the bullshit that human resource departments dole out. I take pride in not having anything to do with that department. In my experience, corporate human resources is an estrogen-poisoned rathole of political correctness and misandry backed up by ugly laws and uglier lawyers.

Marc Rudov, Support Him

For those who don’t know of Marc Rudov, you should. Marc is often in the media discussing the very men’s issues that are the core Manosphere ideals. We blog in relative anonymity while Marc has his face on TV.

Glenn Sacks works behind the scenes. Marc works in front of the cameras and the microphone. He’s photogenic and charismatic.

Marc has a website – – where he has done an excellent job of saving his many media appearances. Everyone should watch or listen to every single one. You’ll note a certain similarity in his message and overall presentation. This is crucial. He’s on message with confidence and consistency. Oh, and let’s not forget the two books he’s written.

The thing about Marc is that he was on the vanguard, getting media attention and getting the word out long before so many blogs popped up. He’s got compelling ideas (all of them are serious Red Pill stuff) and presents them extremely well. So while we’re churning out great posts on our blogs, Marc is getting great media coverage.

While he might not know it, Marc Rudov is a real Manosphere pioneer. He had an Internet radio show years ago. Sadly, it was ahead of its time and he pulled the plug because of the lack of interest. With Paul Elam attempting that strategy, maybe it is time for a men’s issues radio show to work well. Note – Paul’s having issues with that.

It’s important to recognize the Manosphere and Red Pill advocates. Marc Rudov is an important one.

A Woman Visits The Veterinarian…

“Doctor, I’m worried about my hamster.”

“What seems to be the problem?”

“I was surfing the web and discovered something called the ‘Manosphere'”

“Oh, that is serious. Let me guess, your hamster now seems unresponsive.”

“Yes, how did you know? I can’t seem to rationalize anything.”

“The Manosphere is deadly to rationalization hamsters. You probably read something about evolutionary psychology or entitlement princesses.”

“Yeah, I found it very disturbing yet oddly compelling.”

“Well, that’s both good and bad. It’s good for you because you’re learning some essential truths about our culture and the relationship between the genders. It’s bad because your hamster took a serious blow, at the very least, the wheel is seriously damaged.”

“I’m really attached to my hamster. He’s gotten me through a lot. Especially when I divorced my husband.”

“Got a big settlement, did you?”

“I deserved it.”

“And you’re 43 years old now?”

“I’m 39.”

“But your chart says you were born on… wait, you just said you’re 39 years old?”

“Don’t I look it? All my female friends say I don’t look a day over 35.”

“I think your rationalization hamster will live.”


“Well, it will need some rehabilitation. I want you to stop reading the Manosphere websites and read some feminist-oriented websites along with and Cosmopolitan magazine. Be sure to Google the phrase ‘never settle’ and read those websites, too. Also, you need to spend lots more time with your female friends.”

“Anything else?”

“You’re still single, right?”

“Yes, and men suck.”

“Ah, your rationalization hamster is healthier than you think.”

“Oh, thank you doctor, you’re the best. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Well, what are you doing Saturday night?”

“What kind of car do you drive?”

“Nurse! Bring in the next patient, this hamster is healthy!”

[If you liked this blog post, please support my efforts through my Patreon. Many thanks.]

“Can I Get Him To Commit?” Breaking It Down

A serious tip o’ the hat to Haley. Seriously, a major tip o’ the hat.

Evaluation process of the average girl who has a healthy rationalization hamster:

False Text Error – Text Game Amplified Exponentially

My friend, Balthazar, discovered quite the texting Game tactic. He calls it the “false text error”. He uses it to distract or deflect girls who are into the whole texting thing. There are times when he simply wants to keep a girl on the hook but doesn’t want to use the whole text waiting Game.

When he receives a text from such a girl, he sends a canned message such as this:

“Error B110A, the recipient of your message is unavailable at this time. Please wait at least one hour before attempting to message the recipient again.”

This means he can ignore any future texts from her for the next hour. Fucking brilliant. Sure, the text came from his own phone but it looks official as if AT & T or Verizon actually sent the text.

There are actually three parts to the false phone text error –

1. An official-looking error code. This is vital. It adds credibility.

2. A reason for the error. Hell, this could be anything from “unavailable” to “account is temporarily closed and will be available after 24 hours”. A good false phone text error needs some serious believability. My neighbor told me that some networks have the “recipient is driving” kind of thing.

3. A call to action. This is also important because the recipient of the false text error should be told what to do. Perhaps it means waiting for a few minutes or even a day or more. It could be even oddly funny: “The recipient’s account requires at least 10 more text messages.”

Some phones/text plans include templates or draft messages that can be sent at a moment’s notice. A quick response adds to the overall credibility. Balthazar has several such messages ready to go at a moment’s notice.

These kinds of “error” messages can up text Game to new levels of strategy and/or hilarity. However, they must be formatted correctly and contain NO spelling or grammar mistakes.

Let the text games begin!

Amanda Marcotte Urges Men To Learn Game!

Stop the presses!

Send snow to Hell!

Amanda Marcotte urges men to learn Game.It’s all part of the elevatorgate nonsense that continues on. Here is what she said:

The onus is on men not to be creepy.

Link here.

In case she pulls the comment, here is the full screen shot:

Notice how she conflates “creepy” with “unsafe”. Also notice the vague hypocrisy that the needs of a woman come first. Equality much?

And the best way to avoid the “creepy” factor? GAME!

Let’s not forget what “creepy” means in womanspeak, it means BETA. It means men who can’t read minds. It means men who are socially awkward. It means NiceGuys©. It means White Knights. It means manginas.

All of whom are part of the rape culture according to feminists. Every man who is not attractive to women is a potential rapist.

Never, ever forget that.

So to all the Beta guys looking to avoid the creepy factor, learn and practice Game. Do it with feminists. Make ’em tingle. Then mess with their heads by reverting back to Beta the next morning.

Rationalization hamsters will die en masse.

Oh, what’s the female equivalent to a Beta man?

Fat girl.

As part of the gender-flip exercise, every time a woman says “creepy guy”, replace it with “fat girl” and watch the hilarity ensue.

Day Game Openers – A Recommendation

My blog buddy, Badger, brought up some brilliance regarding day game and openers.

I take a very different tactic and it’s fun and friendly for me but perhaps a bit more advanced for some. A caveat here, I am a gregarious and witty fellow. That’s not a boast, that’s just how it is. I’m a word guy and I’m extremely good at what I do.

I don’t start with “hi” or “good morning”.

My best success with day game openers is to start a conversation with something I have in common with the woman I see.

“In common?” You ask suspiciously. “You don’t even know this girl’s name, how do you know what you have in common?”

It’s funny how the obvious is always so hard to see.

Let’s say I’m walking down to my village for a beer. I’m waiting at the long traffic light and an attractive woman is standing next to me, also waiting to cross the street. I don’t know her. I have never spoken to her before. It’s a very warm and humid evening. A rain storm has just passed and the pavement is still wet. A large group of people is across the street, also waiting for the traffic light to change.

I’m going to open a conversation with this woman. I’m going to open with something that we have in common.

I turn my head slightly towards her and say in a conversational voice, “This must be the longest traffic light in South Florida.”

That’s what we have in common. We’re both waiting for a long traffic light to change.

Get it now?

Just by occupying a similar space and experiencing similar things in the immediate environment, you and the other person have something in common.

Here are some more:

“Let’s not get trampled by that crowd across the street, they look mean.” (Just a bunch of harmless tourists)

“It’s good that the rain stopped.”

“That puddle looks very deep.”

These are just innocuous remarks on something in common, the shared experience of the moment.

If my frame is good enough, I’ll go for some mild humor:

“Wow, it’s so warm, I think my fingernails are sweating.”

“It’s a good thing the rain stopped, it was really messing up my hair.” (I’m bald).

The tone of voice is important. It must be casual. Too serious and much of the opener can be lost.

The secret about such openers is to be keenly aware of your immediate surroundings. It’s incredibly important to have situational awareness, to know what’s going on around you, to notice the potential shared experiences.

To see what you have in common. To find the shared experience.

Such openers aren’t cheesy, they are friendly and inviting to continue the conversation.

If you get a positive response, keep going. Ask her a relatively innocuous question.

“Are you visiting or do you live here?”

This is always a great question because I have some canned responses.

“Oh you’re visiting, welcome to the village”, said in a very polite tone. Then I follow up with “Spend more money” in a very serious tone. This always gets a laugh.

“Ah, you’re a local. That makes seven of us.” This gets a laugh, too.

I do know that even such polite banter is very difficult for some guys. I really feel for shy men to whom such conversation is worse than a trip to the dentist. I always think of my friend, Taciturn Tom, who sits at the bar and can only muster up the strength to talk to the other regulars with whom he feels comfortable.

The shared experience opener is always good for me. Even if it takes practice, it’s something that I strongly recommend.

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