The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

My Going Away Party

UPDATE 3/7/2017

The party was a lot of fun. Thanks to all who attended and special thanks to all who helped!

UPDATE 3/3/2017 @10:42AM



So, my cancer went terminal recently. It’s now called Stage 4 Metastatic Liver Cancer. But despite this uncomfortable news, I have been granted a unique gift. I have a bit of time left. So, to that end, rather than just die miserably from liver failure, I’ll carve out some time and have a fine going away party! Seriously. This will likely be the last chance to cast your gaze upon my glorious visage and hear me wax bombastically on a variety of topics.

I’ve made arrangements to get a Saturday night (March 4) reservation at one of favorite places here in Boynton Beach. Here are the details:

March 4, 2017 @ 6:30PM (through at least 8:30PM)
The Living Room Pub
1709 North Congress Ave
Boynton Beach Florida 33426

Local hotels:

As both hotels are within walking distance, it’s not necessary to rent a car unless you want to check out South Florida in all its weirdness. The beach is quite close. Tri-Rail serves both the Miami and Fort Lauderdale airports. Uber is available from the West Palm Beach airport. Also, Uber will get you from a Tri-Rail station (Boynton Beach) to the hotels.

There is, however, a chance that I won’t be at my own going away party. That would be because I would have already gone away. If that’s the case, it’ll be a memorial party. No matter, this party will be fun with music, drink specials, and some really cool people. Maybe even a bunch of crazy motorcyclists from ADVRider will show up.

So, for my readers and Twitter followers, book your flight. Get your collective asses down here. Don’t waste this opportunity.

You’re welcome. Oh, and let me know if you’re coming.

[For those not aware of what’s going on with my health, here are a couple of links…

Most recent update:

Full backstory:]


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79 thoughts on “My Going Away Party

  1. Melody Kling on said:

    I am so sorry to hear their!! Please call me if you’re up to it.

    Melody 9198855264

    Sent from my iPhone


  2. Matt Lawrence on said:

    If you decide to skip out early, we may just hold a seance and drag your ass back for this party.

    In the meantime, I suggest lots of hookers and blow.

  3. I know you can’t put it off too long, but another week and I would have been there. Count me as there in spirit.

  4. So sad. But at least you are going out on a high.

    May I ask how old you are?

  5. I have to confess that there would be some relief to knowing you only have a short time left. Do whatever you want, eat whatever you want, don’t worry about the long term.

    Most people struggle and just spend 10% of their time on recreation, because the rest is just work and cleaning the house and running errands, just to prepare for the long term…

    If I knew I had, say, 4 years left, I would probably have the same amount of fun as if I knew I had 40 years left…

    To have weeks left is tough, though. I hope it is the best few weeks you can possibly have…

  6. Hopefully someone from the androsphere can set up a live webcast of your party, so that the thousands of us who cannot be there in person can attend virtually…

  7. DaBiggestGun on said:

    You are one of the very first Sphereans I ever read. Thank you for this blog, it’s been good to come back here over the past 5 years.

    I completely believe the Red Pill is the most important education a man needs. How many giants have been laid low without it! Alphabet soup after his name just means he’s a bigger target.

    Agree with Anon above, Periscope the party! Sending some doubloons to fuel up the punch bowl.

    Andrew, you have changed many lives for the better, including mine. Most of us found your writings at the lowest point of our lives. I hope you’re going to leave them up.

    I salute you Sir. May you drink and dine lavishly and laugh uproariously at your going-away party, and may your ancestors welcome you with a full goblet!

  8. Much respect from me private man. *salutes*

  9. Rollo reached out to me about you today. It’s time to travel the world! Call me. I’m putting you in touch with Eric Merola! This is NOT the end!

  10. MikeFromMT on said:

    Sorry to hear about your impending trip to the other side happening way too soon. Hmm, airfare from Oregon to Florida…

  11. Hang in there buddy. Use every moment.

  12. thedeti on said:

    Agree with DaBiggestGun up there. This was one of my first haunts. Learned a lot here. Thanks for the ride.

  13. Post divorce, this was one of my first finds in the Sphere. Learned much wisdom here in my transition from blue to red.

    I wish you nothing but peace and comfort. Thank you for everything.

  14. finndistan on said:

    Hello PrivateMan,

    I am saddened to read that you’re leaving us soon. Wish you strength on your next few weeks.

    I thank you for your writings and am grateful I have found them, as they changed my life, helped me make sense of things that didn’t, and helped me be a better man.

    In gratitude, I wish you all the best,

  15. I have my kids that weekend but am going to see what I can arrange. xoxo

  16. Project84 on said:

    Sorry to hear the news, Uncle Larry. We miss ya over at ADV and were fortunate to have you contributing there as well as here. You’ve been a help to lots and lots of lives. You made a great mark on this world.

  17. Daniel on said:

    Godspeed, my man.

  18. I live in south dade and will do my best to be there. Please count me in, and plus one

  19. Alex Zavatone on said:

    We are better men for your being here.

  20. This is how my father passed back in 2015. Granted, he was 83.
    Stoic to the end, No painkillers. Only some drugs to help with the blood toxicity.

  21. You’ve helped a lot of people, that means something.

  22. Private man,

    You helped me see much in this crazy world of sex dynamics we are in today and my marriage and life are better off for it. You helped countless people. I’m so sorry to hear this news, but you are one here who has made a difference.

    Thank you so much.

  23. I’m going to see if I can make it down there.

  24. Andrew on said:

    Thank you for your contributions, men all over the world have learned from you

  25. rugby11 on said:

    Andy ill looking into making it over now…

  26. Nishant Jain on said:

    😦 Sad to hear that… Please try pranayama which has cured cancer or at least prolong life.. Kapalbhati & Anulom Vilom Pranamaya… Do it for 2-2 hours morning and evening…

  27. Chump No More on said:

    Hey PM,

    Very sorry to hear the news, my friend. You were a voice of logic, reason and sanity during my awakening and impending divorce, 5 years ago… I owe you much that can never be repaid.

    Alumni from your meetup roughly 4 years ago, I intend to make this one too.

  28. Socrates on said:

    I’ll be there!

  29. 66Scorpio on said:

    Go in peace, brother. My father succumbed to brain cancer: 3 months from diagnosis to terminus. I just got referred here from TRP; it struck a nerve so I wanted to tell you my thoughts are with you. I live in China so I won’t be coming to Florida, but as I said, my thoughts are with you.

  30. LawDog on said:

    PM, I wanted to chime in and reiterate that you’ve helped a lot of people. I found this site a few years ago, and used some of the wisdom on here myself. Countless others have as well. Even though I can’t make the shindig, I’ll raise one to you and your writing wherever I am.

    Good luck, PM.

  31. Matt Lawrence on said:

    Ok, I can’t get a direct flight into PBI, so I’m flying into FLL and renting a car.

    I’m planning to arrive on the 3rd and stay till the 8th in the hope to do something for Drew’s birthday.

    And Holy Guacamole, the hotel (Courtyard) is expensive!

  32. I just wanted you to know that you were one of the firsts I found on the manosphere and you along with a few others changed my life.

    I am sorry I cannot attend your going away party, but then, I live in Austria.

    Please make the best of the time you have and please know that you made a difference.


  33. happyhousewifey on said:

    Waitress, more wine
    We celebrate, the life and times of Johnny Make Believe
    He was the greatest liar, of all mankind
    The biggest drunk, you ever saw alive
    He was a devil, undisguised
    He will be sorely missed tonight
    And the next day, will never be the same
    Without the beautiful Johnny Make Believe
    So let’s get high, laugh till we cry
    always remember, his last words:
    farewell cruel world, all you pretty girls,
    don’t send me flowers, hold me in your dreams
    and then the spirit in the bottle
    took our Johnny for a ride
    Come on waitress, pour us more wine
    to drown our grief, for Johnny Make Believe
    He tattooed my heart, branded my soul
    He said: Go for true love, not for the fool’s gold
    So let’s get high, laugh till we cry
    don’t send me flowers, hold me in your dreams
    and then the spirit in the bottle
    took our Johnny for a ride

    (Not calling you a liar, just a song)

  34. While some exotic natural therapy is not worth trying, I do think just a massive organic juice regimen has no downside but potentially good upside :

    Give it a shot..

  35. cipher0x on said:

    Prayer for Healing the Body

    My body is under attack, and it is a struggle each day,
    my strength is taxed, but I am blessed with a strong spirit.
    I am grateful for my progress toward healing and acceptance,
    the battle within my body has been long and difficult to fight,
    my will is strong and my own life force is growing within me,
    my attitude is a very powerful tool for healing and recovery.
    Bless my fight with healing energy and balance.

    My body is under attack, and it is a struggle each day,
    to appreciate each moment and stay positive.
    This journey I am on was unexpected, but I accept it,
    each day has become a time to value and cherish, even in pain,
    those around me care, but this is my own journey,
    a journey only I can take, these challenges are mine alone.
    Bless my struggle with insight and courage.

    My body is under attack, and it is a struggle each day,
    my family and friends are sad, they help me as best they can,
    this illness I am facing has caused them pain and fear.
    May they be comforted, knowing that I am grateful for them,
    we all face challenges in life, this struggle is one of mine.
    There are others who are walking aa similar path to my own.
    Bless all who are affected by this journey.

    My body is under attack, and it is a struggle each day,
    today, I feel myself accepting the diagnosis with grace,
    the prognosis is not set in stone, no matter how many echo it.
    My life journey is still being written and recovery is possible,
    with each new day, my body works hard to heal itself,
    my spirit soars on strong wings of hope and faith in the future.
    Bless my body, my spirit, my life, with hope and joy today.
    And now may Spirit bless you,
    and bless you kindly.

  36. Seething Lurker on said:

    God damnit, you’ve shown us how to love and now you’re showing us how to die. Like a man. God bless.

  37. Wrote to you privately. Acknowledging you publicly. You’re a mensch and I wish I could be there to say hello and goodbye to you at your farewell party. Thanks for bringing fairness and rational discourse to an otherwise emotional subject. You will be missed by many on many levels. I hope that whatever time you have remaining is spent doing things that bring you joy and that you get a full sense of how you’re appreciated by the world.

  38. Best wishes brother, you’ve done a world of good for men everywhere. Know that you’re appreciated

  39. I was sad to check over here and see this news. I haven’t read up on any of the older blogs in a while, but I do think about you and the older crew from time to time.

    I’ll try and make it if I can, as I’d like to shake your hand. If not, what’s your favorite drink, and I’ll make sure to at least toast it to you.

    -> Also, leave your website up. Find someone to manage it.

  40. I’ve only just recently discovered your work through the 21 convention video. I am very sorry to hear that you have cancer and I encourage you to research alternative methods to cure it. The main one is Cannabis oil. Others include Apricot seeds which contain amygdalin dandelion root, and turmeric, etc

    Here’s a chiropractor that I watch regularly, John Bergman. He has very informative videos on how the body works and debunks all the mainstream big pharma lies which keep us sick.

    Here’s another related blog.

    Keep fighting the good fight. God bless

  41. 9072808 on said:

    Andrew, I am currently watching your 21 Convention presentation and have been brought to tears by your “be nice, be yourself” leads to “it’s ok to be gay” comment. Nearly verbatim and at the same time in my own timeline I was given those same messages. I’ve just discovered you and I thank you for sharing your wisdom. To paraphrase an African proverb: when a man dies a library burns. Thank you for preserving your library. This single video has resonated with me more than anything I’ve come accross with regard to the red pill.
    Thank you so very much.

  42. Maria Annerino on said:

    I will be there Drew …. Rain or shine
    Hugs &Kisses

  43. Count me in

  44. Hey man, I just recently discovered your videos, specifically the 21 convention presentation and as of this moment, your blog. I’m impressed by your research, philosophies and your selfless efforts to spread valuable, empowering and insightful knowledge to a younger generation (that desperately needs it.) Sad to hear you won’t be around much longer. I look up to guys like you, who spread ideas and help those who need it, without gimmicks or profiteering; but rather because they have a passion for truth. The world will have lost a good one when you’re gone. I just thought you should know.


  45. Thank you for your blog. I’m a new reader. Just now going through your posts. I will read them all.

    I’m saddened to learn of the return of your terminal illness. I don’t know if you are religious man nor not.

    Regardless, just know that I’m probably one more dude in a legion of men you have already have helped. So thank you for what you have written here, and for sharing your observations and ideas. I think many fathers and grandfathers learned these same lessons, only to keep it to themselves and suffered in silence, even anger and rage, because, well, of course no one gives a damn. Well one can see that you did give a damn and wanted to make a difference.

    I ask that you enjoy every moment that you have. May God bless you for all that you have done for others. Thank you.

  46. TechCowgirl on said:

    For what it’s worth, there have been many people over in the Phillipines just recently who have had their cancer put into remission entirely with the use of marijuana oil (via treatment by a practitioner that I personally know). Also there are new studies just out that have proven the efficacy of dandelion root in eradicating cancer cells almost entirely. Dandelion tea and marijuana oil daily could give you many more years, should you want to try that. It all depends on if you feel you’ve done everything on this planet you wanted to do or not yet. Contact me if you want the details and dosage protocols.

  47. Peter Allan on said:

    Hi The Private Man,
    Just seen you vid with Stefan Molyneux.
    I imagine you are have had lots of advice on trying to counter your condition.
    Here’s another idea…
    Go on a strictly ketogneic diet – reduce your carb intake to less than 15 grams / day.
    NO CARBS !!! Cancer has difficulty surviving without sugar.
    Best superfood is eggs (and probably veg juicing) – just eat eggs for a few weeks.
    God man, you just don’t look ill – unbelievable. Great courage! Stick in there and defy the BigPharma logic.
    All the very, very best.

  48. Fred Flange, der kommissar on said:

    Yours was one of the first places I found when awakening some seven or so years ago. Since you helped me, maybe I can provide you a small comfort on your journey.

    A long time ago now I was faced with a sudden scare that would have ended me had it not been sorted out at once. This required me to be put in deep sleep, so deep you might not come back. And that’s where I saw where you will be going, and someday I will again be there too.

    What I can tell you is: it is genuine rest. No big visions or fanfares going into the light or anything like that. But so what. It is real peace. Who knew that silly phrase would actually be true?

    I realized this is what I had gotten to experience when they were bringing me back out: I remember thinking “oh so that’s what it’s like! I get it now.” This provided me great comfort this past year, when I had a different ordeal to address, though this ordeal turned out to be curable and was cured. But now I am ready for the real event whenever it may come. It will be good. I’ll be ready. So will you.

    No wise cracks or snark now. Be well as well as you can. You did good. Remember that always.

  49. Anonymous Asshole on said:

    I’m going to be the anonymous asshole that suggests something even though you’ve said it doesn’t help and you’ve accepted your fate. You probably won’t do it, it probably wouldn’t work if you did, it’s hard as hell and your doctor might not help and might hate you. Fasting, and not just “intermittent fasting”, fucking straight no food only necessary supplementation preferably under the care of a doctor starvation. It (may) works more as a preventative and it (might) works best in conjunction with therapy but it sometimes works for some people. Probably not though and probably not for liver cancer. Stefan says “attach studies” which I will but that’s bullshit because there’s practically no way to study late stage cancer by starving people. Gimme a grant! Anyway, feel free to ignore this, I don’t care really, you seem like a nice guy but I don’t know you and you make your own choices anyway but I felt like I had to at least say it even though you don’t want to hear it. Enjoy the rest of your life regardless of how long that is.
    Thomas Seyfried: Cancer as a metabolic disease.

  50. Matt Lawrence on said:

    I’m scheduled to fly in to FLL on Friday evening and currently expect to get to the hotel around 10PM. My return flight is scheduled for Wednesday morning. I’m booked into the Courtyard by Marriott (ouch$$$). If anybody wants to get together outside of the party Saturday evening, let me know.

    I don’t know what Drew has planned for his birthday, but I intend to be there so at least he will have someone to spend it with. I’ll look into picking up another gourmet birthday cake as well.

  51. Just want to let you know I enjoyed your blog and that I hope I’ll be able to have your composure (at least publicly) if I ever have terminal cancer/illness. For what it’s worth I wish you the best.

  52. God is real, love him and he will take care of you, both here and in the world to come.

  53. Respect Private Man. I will be attending the party virtually.

  54. Matt Lawrence on said:

    I’m finally here and checked into the hotel. Anybody around?

  55. Chump No More on said:

    Flew in last night, enjoying the beach this afternoon… see ya’ll tonight

  56. Pingback: Going Away | The Rational Male

  57. New to the blog. Thank you for setting a dignified example of how to face the end of life.

  58. Zelcorpion on said:

    It is an amazing thing how you face death in this way surrounded by friends and family having a party.

    Wish I could be there. I followed your blog and your Twitter feed.

    See you in Valhalla man – happy sailings.

  59. You were one of the first people I discovered when I tripped across the manosphere in 2012. Thank you for helping me to figure some things out.

    Have an excellent party. I really wish I could be there.

  60. Pingback: The Private Man’s Going Away Party | nightskyradio

  61. Enjoyed your podcast with Stefan. Best wishes.

  62. I don’t know if I’ve ever commented but I’m a long time reader. Your work is great and you will be missed.

  63. Crabrangoon on said:

    God speed to you Andrew-I discovered your blog via Rollo’s and enjoyed yours just as much. You left a huge impact on this big ole manosphere from everything I gathered. Have a great party!!

  64. IrishHolligan on said:

    I have never commented before but I have really enjoyed reading all of your work over the past few years since my divorce. Your tutelage and experience has certainly helped me on my new journey. Thank you and God bless.

  65. Kate on said:

    May you have a peaceful passage.

  66. Random Angeleno on said:

    Used to be an irregular commenter here way back when. Sorry to see you go, but thank you so much for writing as much as you did. You did as much as any other blogger to help me deal with the fallout from finding the red pill.

  67. danno on said:

    I saw a mention of your party on Rational Male. I don’t know you. I’m just another guy whose time on this earth happens to overlap yours. But I’ve read some of your blog the past couple of days and wish I had known you. I really liked the 3 quick personal stories on frame, especially the “my great-grandfather was a douchebag” anecdote. In your honor, I will agree and amplify the next opportunity I get. I wish you the best, brother.

  68. Luke Patterson on said:

    Andrew. I’m 29 from Australia. I watched your speech at 21convention today.

    Fascinating presentation. Thank-you so much. One of the few times I’ve been compelled to note-take.

    I had to find out more about you and came here.

    So sad to hear your news. I lost my Grandmother last month to lung cancer.

    I just wanted to say man to man that I have huge respect for the balls you’ve shown in your journey and I’m gutted I won’t get the chance to grab a beer with you.

    Thank-you for your work in this field I will backtrack through your blog/works to expand my knowledge in this incredibly interesting area of the field.

    Much love brother. Take care. X

  69. Anon on said:

    Doctors always say you have less time than you do. They told you ‘weeks’ back in Feb and there was some doubt that you would live to the party. But you are still alive and active.

    Even after you have to go to the hospice, you have another 5 weeks then.

    Here’s to you seeing May, June, and probably even later.

  70. Darrin Cook on said:

    Try a fasting diet. Best wishes.

  71. Pingback: Lacrimosa | Scar Tissue

  72. sounds like a fun night glad you had a good time

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