The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the month “August, 2013”

Dragon*Con First Day

The lines were long, the streets were full. It was like the running of the bulls at Pamplona except the bulls were cars on Peachtree Street and the runners were costume-wearing Dragon*Con attendees. We got the booth all set up and were ready for the gang o’ geeks. Here’s the finished booth with all the jewelry ready to go:

Booth1Day1Right before opening, a blog reader showed up as planned. He’s going to help for booth dis-assembly on Monday and for that he got an exhibitor pass to attend all the Dragon*Con events he if so decides, 1PM marked the opening hour. Just A few minutes after the lines were at their peak. Here’s the inside line at AmericasMart Building 1:


Here’s the outside line on Peachtree Street:


General pedestrian traffic was rather thick.


Now it’s time for some random photos…









More to come tomorrow.

Dragon*Con Setting Up

Dragon*Con is essentially a trade show for the geeky nerdy crowd. Having a strong geek streak myself, I do identify with this bunch. As a trade show, being a vendor at Dragon*Con requires a setting up a booth. Typically, trade show vendor “booths” come in 10 foot increments, the smallest being a 10′ x 10′ space. My friend, Brenda, secured a 10′ x 20′ space to display and sell her jewelry.

Setting up at this year’s Dragon*Con involved getting early to the loading dock area in the AmericasMart building right in downtown Atlanta. There was no mirth driving on the I-75/I-85 Downtown Connector while getting to the necessary exit. Brenda’s truck is big and not easy for me to drive. We found the building and the loading dock where we were told to wait until called to report to a loading bay. So, we found a spot a few dozen yards away on John Portman Boulevard. The street was quickly filled with other waiting vehicles. We happened to arrive earlier than most.

Hanging around and waiting gave me the opportunity to take some photos of the general scene at the entrance to the loading docks.




I also called one of my blog readers who graciously volunteered to help with packing up the booth on Monday evening. He’s going to get an all access pass for the entire weekend for his efforts.

After waiting around for at least two hours, we got the notification to proceed to a loading dock. It took just a few minutes to unload. Brenda headed to the booth with the stuff and I took the truck to find uncovered parking because it’s 7’5″ tall and that’s too much for all the nearby parking garages.

Once inside, it was time to set up the booth. We got most of it done pretty quickly because Brenda has lots of experience with her jewelry display boards.

Lots of vendors were doing the same.




With setup mostly done, we then spent a couple of hours running errands and buying stuff necessary to tend to some minor details.

Tomorrow at 1PM the conference actually begins. 70,000 attendees are expected during the course of the whole event. Yes, I’ll be taking more photos.

The hotel where I’m staying is in the Buckhead neighborhood of Atlanta. I took some photos of the buildings immediately adjacent.




Getting To Dragon*Con

If y’all read this post, you know that I am working Dragon*Con to help a friend work a booth as a vendor. Doing a trade show is never an easy task, ask I know from experience. As we were driving to Atlanta from South Florida, Wednesday was travel day. It started on Tuesday when I rode my motorcycle from Boca Raton (where I work) to Port Saint Lucie. It started with this:


I had originally planned to leave at the crack of dawn (hehehe) on Wednesday from my place in Lauderdale-by-the-Sea but common sense and geography prevailed so I packed up on Monday and headed south after work on Tuesday. After a night in Port Saint Lucie, it was time to pack up a truck with the vendor booth stuff and my luggage from the motorcycle. I left it back in Port Saint Lucie because riding from south Florida to Atlanta is long and hard (shut up you guys).


That’s a big ol’ diesel truck surrounding a huge Cummins motor with enough torque to pull stumps. It also holds enough for a 10′ x 20′ vendor booth at Dragon*Con. I drove it because I need the testosterone jolt. Snort, spit, scratch. Men drive trucks, it matters little who is listed on the title.

The drive was long and uneventful. The emphasis is on LONG. As an aside, the new service plazas on the Florida Turnpike are really cool, as in airport cool. There’s even a food court in these new facilities.


Atlanta is a big city and has changed muchly since I lived there over a decade ago. The old school Buckhead entertainment district is being completely tore up so that new high rise condos and office buildings can be erected. Hey, it’s Atlanta.

Thursday is set up day. I hope to have some photos and maybe even a video or two that shows the Dragon*Con vendor set-up process. Damn, I need to learn about shooting videos with my fancy-assed smart phone.

Weekend Weirdness – Ugly Dog Photo Caption Needed

With some effort, a photo of Lucy, my ugly dog, was taken that showed her with an unusual look on her hideous face. So, it’s time for a caption. Hell, it’s time for an outright meme!

Readers, caption on!


I’m Working At Dragon*Con In Atlanta

Over Labor Day weekend, a friend and I will be trekking from sunny Florida to Atlanta to work at the Dragon*Con event. Lest you think I’ll be dressing up as a super hero (Middle Age Man! – Saturday Night Live reference) and generally being undignified, it’s more of a work trip. My friend has a vendor booth and will be selling her jewelry to the über nerds and super geeks who typically attend such events. I’ll be there to assist because I have a strong back and a weak mind. I can also man the booth while she’s away. There’s quite a bit involved – setting up the booth, arranging the merchandise, selling the merchandise, and then packing up.

I’ve always wanted to check out the ‘Con scene to look at the potentially very different human dynamics in this entertaining subculture. It’s my first ‘Con. There are some interesting events to attend, as well (link below). Yeah, I have a geeky side. Shit, I remember watching the original Star Trek on TV in syndicated re-runs. I’ll make a point to take some photos for the blog and even attempt to post live. Hell, my fancy new phone makes some good videos that I might be able to post on YouTube.

If any of my readers attending Dragon*Con wants to stop by and say hello, the booth is in the Atlanta Convention Center along with all the other vendors. It’s a jewelry booth, 2nd floor, #2510 and #2512. I’ll be wearing my kilt. If any of you want to help us out with setting up and tearing down the booth, I can snag a couple of all access passes. If you bring some fine red wine, that will make it easier to part with the extra passes even if you can’t help out. Email me for the details (link below).

I hope my dog is OK while I’m gone. The neighbor will be taking care of her.

Dragon*Con Events
Contact Me

Input Needed

About a year ago, I spun off another website/blog/business that I named “Red Pill Dating” (link below). I thought the name was catchy and bespoke of a different and better way of looking at attraction and dating. The business model was to have live events and perhaps a bit of one-on-one advice. I didn’t push it much for a variety of reasons.

Very recently, I decided to ramp that business up. Then I ran into a huge snag. “Red Pill” is already trade marked. It’s trade marked by a PUA “systems” guy, Vin DiCarlo (link below). So if I made any serious money with Red Pill Dating, ol’ Vin could swoop in and nuke my efforts based on trade mark infringement. I know how this works because I’ve done my research. I’m not going to get involved a trade mark battle.

So, I need a new name for Red Pill Dating. This is where you come in. I’m going to crowd source this. I want some good ideas. Before y’all start blasting me comments and emails, it’s important to understand some of the background:

  • Live events is what I want to do (links below). One-on-one coaching, less so.
  • The name must be short and catchy and involve the word “dating”.
  • The name must have an available URL and trademark.
  • My primary demographic is post divorce men and women,
  • I deal with truth, not unrealistic social expectations.
  • This is about attraction and dating, not necessarily about relationships.

While this will be initially a local (south Florida) effort, I’ll be structuring it so it can be repeated in any North American market, except for Toronto. That city is the graveyard of dating advice.

With a good name, I can then set up the usual business infrastructure. Going forward, I might even try a Kickstarter campaign so I can do the appropriate marketing, which can get expensive. I’m kind of glad that I can’t use “Red Pill” in the name, for a variety of reasons.

I will soon need a web-developer and local marketing person. If any of you clever folks are interested, let me know.

Red Pill Dating home page

Red Pill Dating live events page

Vin DiCarlo (Pandora’s Box Video)

Manosphere Insider Stuff

My regular readers know that I am part of the “Manosphere”. Yes, it’s an awkward name. Regardless, the name has been around for at least a couple of years and it’s got some ‘net traction, for what that’s worth. There are also two variations of the name – androsphere and MANdrosphere. They are both the same thing. This is a loose collection of blogs, forums, and websites that focus on men’s interests and men’s self-improvement. We gots some politics, some seduction, some guys just dropping out. But the common feature is that the men have taken the red pill, we have all internalized the reality of social interactions without being too polluted with unrealistic and often damaging social expectations.

The guys in the ‘sphere can be a stubborn, fractious bunch. This is a feature, not a bug. The conflicts can be both spectacular and subtle. Just today, Manosphere luminary, Roosh, (link below) announced that the “Manosphere Is Lost”. After hours of intense thought and consideration of his blog post, I can only say “meh”. So he backs away from the semantics and subjective nomenclature, no big deal. He can do whatever he wants. I won’t question his motivation. He will do what he wants. I will do what I want (dating and attraction advice for the over 35 crowd).

Regardless, the toothpaste is out of the tube and can’t be put back in. The knowledge is out there. The wisdom is being shared.  It really doesn’t matter how it’s labelled. Call it the Manosphere. Call it Red Pill. Call it whatever you think it should be called. What the Manosphere presents is truth. Hey, here’s a good name for what’s going on with my blog and all the others – “truth”. I care not a whit for the inner machinations of what’s going on with the ‘sphere. Nor does Danny (link below), another Manosphere luminary. We talked about this. And I have to give Danny respect, he’s giving me a shot gun… sweet!

I don’t get all the Manosphere back and forth nastiness. It can be healthy. It can also be divisive. I prefer the former.

The Manosphere Is Lost


Weekend Weirdness – Dog Antics

I was out on Friday night at my local bar with Lucy, my ugly dog. In the first photo, I was sitting in the empty seat to the right of the young woman and Lucy was sitting on the bar chair to the right of me. Yes, she sits at the bar. My clever dog then crossed my lap (ouch!) and plunked her ass down right behind the young woman sitting next to me as you see here in this photo.


It took a few moments before the young woman noticed that Lucy was sitting directly behind her on the same chair. This was her reaction:


I love my dog.

[No. I didn’t.  Relax]

My Interview On Manosphere Radio

Pete’s a good guy who is doing a series of interviews with Manosphere bloggers. My interview with him is now up for everyone to have a listen.

It’s long (over an hour) so be warned. I do hammer some ideas repeatedly and my regular readers will recognize those ideas. As it’s an audio interview, you’ll get to know my voice and how I speak. Note: the audio is structured so that that Pete’s questions are in one ear and my answers are in the other ear.

If I get a good response, I might do some of my own podcasts or maybe do a live audio/video event. Let me know what you think of the interview and if you’d listen to a podcast or live event.

Thanks again, Pete.

Guys, Don’t Be A SNAG

SNAG is the acronym for Sensitive, New Age Guy. There was once a time in our recent social history when guys were expected to “be more in touch with their feelings”. This seemed to be going reasonably well until more than a few women started yelling “where are all the real men?!”. But for many guys over a certain age, the urge to express any and all feelings remained. Those guys suck at dating and too many women still encourage them to be SNAGs.

It’s perfectly acceptable to have emotions. It’s also perfectly acceptable to express them – but in the right place with the right people. What too many men do is remove the filter between their emotions and their mouth. This is how dates are ruined. Gentlemen, I bring news from the dating trenches. You’re talking too much about your emotions on your dates. Stop it right now. And I don’t care about what your dates are telling you about expressing your emotions. That’s a worn out social expectation.

Excess emotional talk on dates is too often expressed by talking about an ex. “That bitch took all money!” Yes, some guys will do this. Nice one, Romeo. You just struck out with that woman sitting next to you at happy hour. Expressing negative emotions is the absolute worst and makes you look damaged emotionally in some way. Save the negativity for your male friends. Your date wants to hear none of it.

The same can be applied to positive emotions. If you’re waving your arms around claiming “that was the best movie, ever!”, you look childish and immature. When asked about something you absolutely love, minimize, don’t emphasize the emotions. “I enjoyed that movie”. “Yeah, I do like watching football” Understatement is your friend.

This does not mean a man can’t be verbally charismatic, witty, or even a bit garrulous. I’m talking about the subject matter of the conversation during the date. Changing conversation topic habits is not easy but is certainly doable.

Being understated and being in control with your emotions in the context of dating also lends to an air of mystery about you. A woman will want to tease out some more emotion from you, hopefully in a good way, without unpleasant emotional shit tests. As well, emotional self-control is a sign of strength and confidence. Your date might later complain to her friends about your emotional “distance” but if accepts another date (actions over words), she’s attracted to you.

There’s a huge caveat here – this is dating and attraction advice, not relationship advice. If a serious relationship commences (yeah, many guys actually want that), I simply can’t really help. This is where someone like Athol comes in. He’s good, read his book and his blog.

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