The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for the post-divorce crowd

A Woman Visits The Veterinarian…

“Doctor, I’m worried about my hamster.”

“What seems to be the problem?”

“I was surfing the web and discovered something called the ‘Manosphere'”

“Oh, that is serious. Let me guess, your hamster now seems unresponsive.”

“Yes, how did you know? I can’t seem to rationalize anything.”

“The Manosphere is deadly to rationalization hamsters. You probably read something about evolutionary psychology or entitlement princesses.”

“Yeah, I found it very disturbing yet oddly compelling.”

“Well, that’s both good and bad. It’s good for you because you’re learning some essential truths about our culture and the relationship between the genders. It’s bad because your hamster took a serious blow, at the very least, the wheel is seriously damaged.”

“I’m really attached to my hamster. He’s gotten me through a lot. Especially when I divorced my husband.”

“Got a big settlement, did you?”

“I deserved it.”

“And you’re 43 years old now?”

“I’m 39.”

“But your chart says you were born on… wait, you just said you’re 39 years old?”

“Don’t I look it? All my female friends say I don’t look a day over 35.”

“I think your rationalization hamster will live.”

“Really?”

“Well, it will need some rehabilitation. I want you to stop reading the Manosphere websites and read some feminist-oriented websites along with thefrisky.com and Cosmopolitan magazine. Be sure to Google the phrase ‘never settle’ and read those websites, too. Also, you need to spend lots more time with your female friends.”

“Anything else?”

“You’re still single, right?”

“Yes, and men suck.”

“Ah, your rationalization hamster is healthier than you think.”

“Oh, thank you doctor, you’re the best. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Well, what are you doing Saturday night?”

“What kind of car do you drive?”

“Nurse! Bring in the next patient, this hamster is healthy!”

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8 thoughts on “A Woman Visits The Veterinarian…

  1. Ms_Fu on said:

    Ha ha! Nice. My own ‘hamster’ was never healthy to begin with – my mother used to say that I was a boy in a girl’s body, and I wasn’t a tomboy! Just more logic-driven and direct than most girls. The best thing about reading blogs in the manosphere is assurance that my hamster will always be like the sickly kid who’s allergic to everything, even if he/she never dies.

  2. Love it! Classic right there.

  3. Good stuff Private Man!

  4. Pingback: The Private Man to the rescue! | Dalrock

  5. Anonymous on said:

    The best! :)

  6. Speaking of female rationalization hamsters:

    http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/43879313#43879313

    Note in the interview one states that women are more empowered today than their mothers time, and that is seen as a great thing.

    The two blondes in the interview are age adjusted nines who would have absolutely NO competition where I lived and could easily be cougars, ignoring male 9’s their age. Again, it never really gets better for men.

  7. “What kind of car do you drive?”

    Laughed my ass off at this post. Great work.

  8. Simon Rierdon on said:

    That’s funny as hell…

    Here’s one for the fatties with appropriate quotes…

    http://veritasaculeus.wordpress.com/2011/07/25/americans-are-fat/

    The rationalization hamster will never quit spinning on its warped wheel…

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