…when I was 28, I was speaking at a conference to MBA students. I was a professional talking about my industry to the students. After I gave my talk, I met a hot 23-year-old girl who was there (easily the best looking girl out of the 200 people there). We chatted a bit and I simply asked her out and she said yes.
There are a couple of take-away lessons here:
1. Being asked to speak in front of people is the highest form of social pre-selection possible. It’s a clear testament to a man’s expertise and confidence.
2. The follow up confidence this man showed when securing the date flowed from his willingness to speak in public.
However, if this is to work, it’s absolutely vital that a man has good public speaking skills. These are skills that can be learned through an organization like Toastmaster or taking drama classes (seriously). Voice, eye contact, verbal pacing, subject matter, etc., are all elements of public speaking that a man can learn through instruction, observation, and practice.
As an extrovert, I thoroughly enjoy speaking in front of people. But I have the advantage of experience teaching for several years in an adult vocational capacity as well taking stand up and improvisational comedy classes. And yes, I am bombastic as fellow Manospherian, Dagonet, pointed out after he met me last year. Thanks chum! I actually embrace that description.
I won’t project my love of being in front of people on to all my readers. But I do urge that men – especially introverts – make a point to speak in front of people at every opportunity. This could include meetings, sales presentations, volunteering to give classes/seminars, almost anything. Here’s a small trick when out with the guys – offer a toast and back it up with a very short, impromptu speech.
There is a history of oratory in our civilization. The general population of men are losing those skills. If you watch a charismatic pastor giving his sermon, you’ll see the continuation of that history of oratory. Such preaching is the zenith of public speaking and very few men will attain that. However, every man should have at least some of those oratorical skills.