The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

A Woman Responds To A Recent Blog Post

I sometimes get some great comments. The one that I received today is mid-range. It’s worth commenting on but not worth letting through moderation. The commenter, a woman, was motivated by this relatively recent blog post on feminine pleasantness.

The original comment is in italics, my responses are in boldface.

Wow. That post was really unkind and unreflective of reality. And by unkind, I mean misogynistic and lacking in human compassion. Women are human, just like men.

Misogynistic? I get that often enough. This is because I violate the 11th Commandment, “Thou shalt not criticize women”. Women are indeed human. They also have patterns of bad behavior and character flaws that cause huge problems when it comes time for them to find an intimate relationship with a man.

We also do not want to hang out with men who cannot control their moods and who are grumpy and sullen day after day. It is also not our job to make a man happy when he cannot find his own happiness.

I agree with this. Any adult, man or women, who doesn’t have at least some control over their negative moods is nothing more than a child. Men, in particular, must control those moods. Women are cut way too much slack in this area. Also, why is he grumpy and sullen? Bad day at work? 

We also are attracted to men who can remain calm and smile through adversity. Replace the female pronouns, etc., in your post with male pronouns and vice versa and your post would be equally true.

Again, I agree. Men must be stoic in the face of adversity. This is true strength and shows serious backbone, catnip to women.

Your idea that women are “naturally” one way and men “naturally” another way is false and silly.

This statement is idiotic. Common and predictable behaviors based on one’s sex are well-studied and well-known. Of course, you have an exception to those common behaviors which you mean to prove my assertions incorrect. Guess what cupcake, you’re using the logical fallacy of “the example of one”. Brilliant. #facepalm. Look beyond the solipsistic confines of your own experiences.

My husband had that attitude and that is why he’s now single. He believed he could stomp around the house and pout, take me for granted and treat me however he wished, and my job was to smile, bake cookies and give him a BJ.

His biggest mistake was stomping around and pouting. But, you said “yes” when he proposed. But was he always like that? Or did you encourage him to be more in touch with his feelings? Guess what, that stomping and pouting are expressions of his feelings.

Ummm, no. Not going to happen. Now he gets to smile at himself, bake his own cookies and make friends with his right hand, all while being a single parent 50% of the time and cleaning his own house and living off 50% less salary. See how that worked out? Granted, he is now working on finding the doormat of his dreams, but thankfully it won’t be me.

Why 50% less salary? Oh, right… alimony and child support? Wait, no child support, 50% custody. You’re still getting child support with only 50% custody? Oh my. Regardless, since you’re getting alimony in the form of 50% of his salary, that means he was the primary breadwinner. Congrats, you won the divorce game! There’s a lesson here, guys.

Additionally, women would not be required to be so strong and independent if they could actually rely on men, but the biggest complaint I hear from women my age (early 40s) is that having their husband is like having another child.

Men of a certain age have been taught, by women, to let the women be more strong and independent. You think men want to be hopelessly dependent? I agree, that’s awful. But here’s a solution to all you strong and independent women disgusted with the state of men today, date other women. As for men being like kids in the house, how are they at work? Oh, right, those women have no clue. But I’m sure they reap the benefits of those men’s salaries.

You know what’s a huge turn off for a women? Being incapable. Emotionally, psychologically, verbally, around the house, with the kids, etc. If your wife has to take care of you like a child, she doesn’t want to sleep with you too. Because, that’s gross. She doesn’t want to service you at night after doing all the stuff you were incapable of doing all day in addition to her own tasks.

Um, back to his salary, he seems to be capable of that. And please don’t spew that “it’s all about his money” crap. You’re taking alimony, remember? That’s his money. However, in the scenario you described, perhaps he’s getting alimony from you! If that’s the case, you go guy!!!

She doesn’t want to have to help you “identify your feelings” and “use your words” in conversation and then do you later. Not sexy, guys. And if you don’t want to hear a women speak her mind, get a prostitute. I think it was Billy Idol who said, “I don’t pay to sleep with them. I pay for them to go away.”

That was Charlie Sheen, by the way. OK, you’re contradicting yourself here. On one hand, you want the man to be stoic in the face of adversity and now you’re talking about helping him with identifying (and expressing, no doubt) his feelings. Pick one. Guys, while she’s trying to sort that out without her brain overheating, let me help. Be stoic in the face of adversity.

Also, when a woman speaks her mind, is it valuable to him? Does it really add to the conversation and even the relationship? If not, women must activate that ol’ verbal filter. Far too often, “speaking her mind” is code for “I’m gonna bitch and moan and inject verbal drama in your life but don’t stop making a salary”.

If you want your wife to sleep with you and then pretend she doesn’t have thoughts, feelings and concerns in life, marry a prostitute and pay her day rate every day.

There are more than a few guys who think that’s the current state of marriage. Of course, they’re still not getting the sex they paid for. Doh!

This whole comment is nothing more than “men do it too!” Yeah, some do. But I don’t write like that. I also stand by my assertion in the original blog post that kindness, pleasantness, and caring are wonderfully feminine traits and men must screen for those type of women during the dating process. Keep those comments coming!

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50 thoughts on “A Woman Responds To A Recent Blog Post

  1. Pingback: A Woman Responds To A Recent Blog Post |

  2. This woman was married to a beta. Of course. This is how women treat betas. Swallow the Red Pill even if you’re a beta. Don’t be a chump.

    This woman would probably act totally differently around an alpha.

  3. She’s a bitch. Not a big surprise. There are few risks and great rewards for dumping your husband and keeping his money.

  4. fuzziewuzziebear on said:

    Married and divorced women are starting to push back via comments on men’s blogs. It is instructive, in a negative way. I just hope this means that things are coming to a boil..
    I have to agree with Matt, she is awful.

  5. 50% less salary. I can deal with whatever she writes, but that makes me fucking angry.

    • Agreed. What I can’t figure is why guys keep their jobs. I’m divorced. If my ex had had plans to sue for alimony, I would have quit and gotten a disposable job. If I’d dropped to $18,000/year prior to the hearing, that’s the number that would have been reported. “But what about the children?!” Bullshit. If women actually cared about their own children as much as Hollywood has told us that they do, they wouldn’t be filing for divorce at all. No woman divorces thinking “about the children”.

      • feeriker on said:

        No woman divorces thinking “about the children”.

        Oh yes they do – but only because women are absolutely hopeless at grasping the concept of “cause and effect.”

      • Considering the national average of child support payments in the States is 300.00 a month, this strategy has been implemented for a while. If you’re willing to live below the poverty line, payments are 120.00 a month.

    • Uh, well, that ain’t gonna fly either because her attorney will just claim your are intentionally under-employed and the judges always side with the mother “to protect the children” and you’ll get slapped with support commensurate to your previous work history.
      You’re not getting off that easy bud. 🙂
      There is no advantages for the men other than just getting away from the hag.

      • You can get away, it just depends on your dedication to the cause. I’d read about one guy’s conversation with his wife; just as a warning, if she’d ever planned on divorcing him, he’d burn the house to the ground, torch the cars (no insurance means no fraud) empty the accounts and dissappear. As long as a man no longer has any aspirations towards success, he can survive on far less than a woman can. If illegal Mexicans can survive on cash-only jobs with no future, guess what. You can too! Let her know up front, you’ll disappear and she’ll get nothing. The divorce-lottery doesn’t have any winners if the man refuses to play.

      • Exactly. Just have no shit to lose. Fuck them all, a la Atlas Shrugged. Before I am working half my ass off for some stupid cunt, I will rather go do some voluntary unpaid work on a farm in Peru. At least there I am far away from the stinking city and around a guest family.

        Withdrawal of one’s workforce is actually the one big thing a man can threaten society with. Unfortunately, it is all but easy to have the balls to pull it off. A lot of fear and shame and guilt surrounding that.

      • Yeah? What will she and the gopperment do? Force me to work a high-salary job? I want to see that attempt! They can see that I am intentionally under-employed, but so what? It does not change the fact that I will not have the money to pay. And if that means I am going bankrupt, there is still social security. See how well that turns out for you, society! Better to have a bum and his wife on social security and contributing nothing than to force poor poor women to take responsibility, right? Great math.

  6. fuzziewuzziebear on said:

    After considering, if a guy in her age range is in the dating market, how is he going to figure out that she really feels this way? She wouldn’t have divorced without hoping to remarry or, at least date and, in doing so, she is going to put on her best face. This could be trouble.

  7. The only things that bother me is when a woman describes herself as strong and independent and when divorce comes around they want half of everything the man owns. If she was so “strong and independent” she would want nothing from him and leave with nothing. She’s strong and independent she can make it on her own. The only woman I’ve read on that married and divorced her husband and wanted nothing/ zero from her ex husband was Dita Von Tesse , which is rare. She’s beautiful and feminine lady.


    When it comes to women, what they say is usually of minor importance. What counts is to know what she really needs – and that is quite often the opposite of what she is saying with her words.

  9. More reasons to stay single.

  10. Browneye on said:

    This is classic AFC getting kicked down by his woman. She married him all in love and then slowly learned to loathe him. Likely that is his fault. Still, the venom is palpable. Geez, I’d rather shoot myself than have that hag bagging on me. I would have told her to piss up a rope.

    And they leave with half because they actually think it’s theirs because they ‘provided a home for him so he could work’. More like living hell. Yeegads, I would want to barf.

    Good post. Sometimes I think these responses are rigged – as in someone put someone up to it. It can’t really be for real.

    This type of woman isn’t very pleasant to be around either. You can just tell.

  11. So how many of the pissed off dudes here complaining about women taking men’s assets in divorce are willing to marry a woman with a good paying job she has no intention of quitting? Or one who makes more than you? What was that, none? Cause you want all the benefits of a traditional marriage without any of the responsibilities?

    Im 100% against alimony in all but the most extreme circumstances and even then it needs to be short term.

    But common sense should tell you if you marry Suzy Homemaker you may enjoy having her under your thumb for a while but you’re putting yourself at unnecessary risk in the long term. Stop marrying these lazy bitches and there will be no need to beat this dead horse anymore.

    But that makes too much sense doesn’t it?

    • You aren’t going to find a man bragging about your job, Sweetie. Try being kind, be pleasant company.

      • Really? Where did I say anything about my job or about not having a man? You are ASSUming a lot.

        How about addressing my point?

      • No. You aren’t being pleasant company. But I think you can do it. You be nicer and I’ll talk with you.

    • I would be delighted if wifey made more than me. Brang it!!

      You seem bitter and ugly. You can change that. I feel sorry for any man that would interact with you. FI has ruined your attitude.

      • I’m bitter? Compared to what?
        You regularly comment here and you think I’m the one who is bitter? Lol

        I’m ugly? How exactly do you know that?

        FI? Explain. I don’t speak your lingo.

        You don’t need to feel sorry for the men who enjoy my company.

      • “Where did I say anything about my job or about not having a man?”
        “You don’t need to feel sorry for the men who enjoy my company.”

      • FI = feminine imperative
        Your comments sound bitter, which is ugly. That’s how you SOUND!
        My comments have nothing to do with it, but typical woman response.
        But whatever, carry on.

      • What’s your point greginaurora?

      • Typical red pill response

      • Chris Brown on said:

        And why shouldn’t it be? I’m a real man.
        Red pill is as real as it gets.

        You know, it’s funny, I have a wife of 23 years and there’s nothing in red pill philosophy that she disagrees with. She’s very pro-man. She must be the unicorn everybody hopes for. LOL

        And she’s a very smart and successful lady. Second marriage, she’s 7 years younger.
        A meyers-briggs polar opposite.

      • “I’m a real man. Red pill is as real as it gets.”


        And may I add…


        Very smart and successful? Then you must agree that there is some benefit to marrying a woman who has a brain, her own life and money, and something to offer besides her vajayjay and a princess attitude?

      • Browney on said:

        Of course!
        What exactly is your point?

  12. Browneye on said:

    RP makes you laugh? I guess it can be funny, but that’s not the universal response.

    Of course there is benefits for a successful lady – what is your point anyway?

  13. @AMZ:

    “Right. “NAWALT”. Then they comment in the blogs and remove all doubt that AWALT. It’s the cluelessness and lack of self-awareness, combined with that disgusting solipsism.”

    …and it’s right up there in the same comment thread and everything.

    • @greginaurora

      You’re going to need to be more specific.

      How am I being “clueless” by pointing out the obvious flaw in the thinking that says I’ll marry a traditional woman but then get pissed that she feels entitled to a traditional arrangement?

      How am lacking in self awareness when I condemn lazy entitled bitches who play an outdated and unfair system to their advantage?

      How am I solipsistic when my whole point is that I can see why men are pissed at the double standards, but I rightly point out that they themselves also have to stop going along with those double standards?

      Explain this to me.

      • You’re making an argument that men are not making, and you’re standing behind it as though it were some self-evident truth. You can’t see yourself doing it because you can’t even allow yourself to imagine that this thing you believe so firmly could be not-true.

        Women possess one thing of value to a man, and it’s not “I have a job so I don’t need no man!” Women possess a pussy. That’s all you are. If you can learn to soften your approach, become gentle, use your feminine wiles to allure a man to you and give him your pussy, you’ll have a man. (Note: not “men”. That’s disgusting.)

        But this idea is something that, even reading it now, you won’t be able to grasp. Men aren’t trying to stay away from “lazy, entitled bitches”. We’re actively staying away from masculine, self-obsessed women who’ve become so dispossessed of feminine traits that they couldn’t be sweet and giving if their lives depended upon it. Look at you, for example. If you’ve been reading this site, you’ve certainly picked up on the idea, by now, that the men here aren’t looking for a woman to have a debate with on what men should and shouldn’t find attractive in women. But you can’t help yourself, so here you are. Alone, mad at men for not fawning all over you for what you’ve decided they should find attractive in you.

        You want a man? Try being nice. Nice doesn’t mean competing and debating and insisting and arguing and “just pointing out”. Try being kind. Because this whole “You have to stop going along with those double standards” isn’t working so well for you, now is it.

    • “Women possess a pussy. That’s all you are.”

      I guess that’s supposed to get a rise out of me? Try harder.

      Since you also can’t fucking read, I already said I have a man. A man.

      Not a socially inept middle age burnout whose ex wife’s fucking another guy in the house he’s still paying on while he’s sitting alone in his effiency apartment in the ghetto reading manosphere blogs and commiserating with other disillusioned balding losers believing he’s somehow reclaiming his missing ballsack by posting insults behind an anonymous user name. (Wow I can do that too!)

      So I don’t need to try shit. It’s working out great for me, thanks for asking, even better for him.

      But you might want to try losing the very unconvincing “I’m a bad ass alpha MGTOW” act. Women might stop laughing at you long enough to throw you some of that pussy you’re missing.

      • Heh. Hey “Check out my m4d reading SkilZ!”

        I’m commenting with my name and the city I live in, “AMZ”.


        Cluelessness, lack of self-awareness, and solipsism.

      • Browneye on said:

        Very clever!

      • tybmz on said:

        “…sitting alone in his effiency apartment in the ghetto reading manosphere blogs and commiserating with other disillusioned balding losers believing he’s somehow reclaiming his missing ballsack by posting insults behind an anonymous user name”

        LOL! Major burn.

      • You’re a little late to the party, cupcake. Please keep up with current events on this blog.

  14. That’s rather simplistic Greg, but not really far from the truth.

    We did an informal poll some while back that was asking men to ask their woman what she thought was the most important thing in the relationship. I even told them it was ‘sex’. Sure, lots of other things are important, but without sex you may as well just be best roommates.

    You should have heard the responses – about 75% of their women thought it was something else. And oh my, the comments from the women that happened along to the poll and comments, they just thought this was horrible. How barbaric!

    Unfortunately, women really don’t quite get it. If you don’t have sex with your man he’ll find it somewhere else. The poor ladies hold out and then wonder why the men cheat. It’s so simple really. And not surprising either, how can a woman understand it since she’ll never experience the 17 to 20 times the testosterone surging through her system like the men do. And it is incumbent on the men to up their game, to attract his woman. Failing to do that results in her rejection of him, loss of respect, boredom, and then if you’re lucky you might get ‘starfish sex’.

    Some do get it and they hang onto their man. There are some really good LTR’s out there, but they’re in the minority.

    • You asked the men to ask the women what the WOMEN thought was most important in their relationship?

      Or what the women belived their MEN thought was most important in their relationship?

      Two different questions with two different sets of answers.

      The way you worded it, it sounds like what you got was women reporting on what women think is most important. If so you shouldn’t be surprised by the response.

  15. Browneye on said:

    The poll was, what does your woman think that her man wants.
    About half got it right. Many thought it was friendship. Or respect.
    While many things are important, without sex a man simply is not connected to her.

    • Well then that makes sense.

      I would have said sex either way (him or me) but then I’ve been married long enough to know you don’t stand a chance without it. Good sex, mind you.

  16. Days of Broken Arrows on said:

    “…the biggest complaint I hear from women my age (early 40s) is that having their husband is like having another child.”

    Of course, when it comes to giving her half his salary, then he magically transforms into an adult. Great post. RIP Privateman.

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