The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Technology And Game – I Need Help On This Issue

While swimming in the dark verbal waters over at In Mala Fide, I came across a post about the “The Pickup Artist Scam“. Naturally, vitriol ensued in the comments. This was all highly entertaining for a wordy guy like me. Mining comments for the precious metal that is Manosphere wisdom is always a worthwhile endeavor. The commenters at In Mala Fide did not disappoint:

When I started going out to bars/clubs in the early-mid 2000s Bars and clubs were venues in which women came to actively seek and meet men. It was once socially acceptable and expected for men to approach women in this setting.

Gradually, I’ve noticed the dynamic in bars and nightclubs shifting. Rather than the singles/meat markets of yore, bars and clubs are now becoming venues for groups of friends to celebrate some sort of group event – birthday parties, stagettes, “girls night out” etc.

I blame cell phones, texting, BBM, Facebook, and social networking sites that make groups of friends connected to each other, yet form cliques and isolate themselves from the mainstream.

I used to see tons of 2 and 3 sets of women. These were the best and easiest to pull. I seldom see that anymore. They’re all in big groups in mixed social circles. Also seeing a lot more couples now.

Most of the girls are there to attention-whore for pictures to put up on Facebook. If the girls want dick, they’ll booty text the guy they’re dicking at the time when they get home from club at 3 AM, rather than fucking some random guy they met at the club that night.

The 2000s saw a dramatic acceleration in the growth of female-centric communications technology – namely, the explosion of texting, social networking, and online dating. Yet most PUA material was developed in the late 90s/early 2000s, before smartphones and Facebook.

PUA theory hasn’t kept pace with the evolution of communications technology, especially now that the “seduction community” has morphed into the “seduction industry”.

If Mystery and Style had to contend with today’s bar/club/night game environment (and not the late 90s), Mystery wouldn’t have developed his ingenious Mystery Method and Style wouldn’t have written The Game. They would have growing frustrated with the constant cell phones, the constant smartphones, the constant texting and Facebooking, the constant pics-with-digital-cameras and attention-wh*ring, the constant flaking – and quit. There would be no PUA community and no PUA industry

Of course, none of this was epidemic in the late 90s/early 00s because the technology didn’t exist.

[Ironically, the original post came from]

[Update, Aug 2, 2011. Boris has commented and corrected me on the original source of this. It actually comes from and not]

So I posit the question, is this true? As I am of a somewhat different generation and in a unique locale, I am ill-equipped to address this issue. Considered this an appeal for additional Manosphere wisdom.

In particular, I’d like to know how Game needs to adapt to a new technology landscape based on the female-centric modes of digital connections.

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13 thoughts on “Technology And Game – I Need Help On This Issue

  1. georgec on said:

    Its completely false for NYC. Beyond that I cannot say. It sounds like just another guy making another excuse – locating the source of his troubles outside himself.

  2. In terms of LTRs… Jennifer and I just got smartphones. It’s addictive watching each other on the GPS coming and going.

    Clubs and online will get different women if you’re dating I guess.

  3. Yeah, I’ve noticed this.Very few girls under the age of 25 will go out in groups smaller than 4 or 5 (and that only happens because the typical houseshare in the UK for young adults is at that number)

    It was this phenomenom that almost made me not accept Game. I would try to crash mixed groups, but even with a good wing, unless all the guys are beta, it’s not gonna happen.

    The only way forward is to isolate. Butt grinding on the dancefloor with cheeky over the head glances to get their eye then pull them in. Splitting them off from friends in a bar queue

    To be honest though, I’m with the post on that I’d much rather pull someone I know that get a randomer. Someone that I know will know what I like sexually, I’ll know what they like etc

  4. That would not surprise me. I guess the thing that really stands out to me is another reason why its hard to meet attractive women at bars–the women are mostly fat, and the slender, attractive woman usually is paired up with fattie friend that needs to be disarmed. Thats a huge (haha) problem where I live and makes it so that going to a bar to meet an attractive woman not worth the effort, unless you dont mind gaming/conersing with women that physcially repel you to get the attention of a hottie.

    Also, slightly off topic, Ive noticed something recently—I get a LOT of lack of IOI’s, or, more likely, active IOD’s (Indicator’s of disinterest) from women that are above my SMV. For example, I was out at two dance clubs with my gf last night and the 7’s, 8’s and 9’s wouldn’t even look at me, or seemed to be actively avoiding contact with me. I suspect a part of this Im a big guy and could be considered by them as physically threatening, or my body language may repel them. But Ive noticed recently how actively I repel women 7.5 and up on SMV. I wonder if this happens to any other guys? If not, that’s good for me to know, and I need to work on my body language and smile all of the goddam time.

  5. johnnymilfquest on said:

    Change the venue. Change the night when you go out. Then EVERYTHING changes.

    DJ is crap? EJECT.
    Dick farm? EJECT.
    Too many uggs or fatties? EJECT.

    Men had shitty nights out long before the year 2000. But some men can still have a great night out in 2011.

    The only mistake I made last night was cock-blocking myself with too much booze.

  6. From my experience, if the girl is interested in you she’s not going to look at her phone while you guys are talking.

    If a girl is checking her phone while you’re talking, she’s not interested so you either gotta double up or eject.

    Likewise, a girl checking her phone is not an obstacle for approaching. She’ll put it down if you’re bringing good stuff, or you can wait for that opening when she does briefly put it down. It’s only in this dude’s mind that this is an obstacle.

    Girl’s are always out being attention whores at bars, but that’s not the only reason they’re there. They’re always out to take pics and have fun, but they’re also always open to seduction. This dude is just making up excuses.

    Now, about the incredibly large sets of girls under 25, that’s entirely true. If they can’t get their whole posse to go out, they don’t go out.

  7. Jake on said:

    Oh yeah this is too true…
    No doubt the club scene’s tending towards this kind of behavior (at least where I’m from). Chicks are out for the good time facebook pics with their pals.
    Hooking up is way down the list and as the post mentions, they’re more likely to text one of the plethora of dudes that they currently know or even bang once the night’s over and they’re all horny from the booze.
    Honestly I hate social networking, it’s reduced my chances to score while on a night out SO MUCH it’s very noticeable. I should mention that I’m a bit of a lone operator with a limited circle of friends and as such can’t tap into the facebook phenomenon so well.

  8. First off, great blog.

    As someone who went to clubs/bars in the early 2000s and has now gotten back into it I actually have a different point of view than the comment writer. I personally have found it to be much, much easier now. I believe this because I personally have grown and changed over the years. I go to places I actually like that also happen to have a lot of women. For me, social networking has just given me an even bigger net to catch more fish.

  9. Actually, the original post came from our site: – please give the proper credit where it’s due. Puahate hates us too for unknown reasons.

    Also, why would it be ironic that a post entitled “The PIckup Artist Scam” would come from a site called

  10. Pingback: Social Incest: How the Internet Created Nerds

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