The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “July 14, 2011”

Day Game Openers – A Recommendation

My blog buddy, Badger, brought up some brilliance regarding day game and openers.

I take a very different tactic and it’s fun and friendly for me but perhaps a bit more advanced for some. A caveat here, I am a gregarious and witty fellow. That’s not a boast, that’s just how it is. I’m a word guy and I’m extremely good at what I do.

I don’t start with “hi” or “good morning”.

My best success with day game openers is to start a conversation with something I have in common with the woman I see.

“In common?” You ask suspiciously. “You don’t even know this girl’s name, how do you know what you have in common?”

It’s funny how the obvious is always so hard to see.

Let’s say I’m walking down to my village for a beer. I’m waiting at the long traffic light and an attractive woman is standing next to me, also waiting to cross the street. I don’t know her. I have never spoken to her before. It’s a very warm and humid evening. A rain storm has just passed and the pavement is still wet. A large group of people is across the street, also waiting for the traffic light to change.

I’m going to open a conversation with this woman. I’m going to open with something that we have in common.

I turn my head slightly towards her and say in a conversational voice, “This must be the longest traffic light in South Florida.”

That’s what we have in common. We’re both waiting for a long traffic light to change.

Get it now?

Just by occupying a similar space and experiencing similar things in the immediate environment, you and the other person have something in common.

Here are some more:

“Let’s not get trampled by that crowd across the street, they look mean.” (Just a bunch of harmless tourists)

“It’s good that the rain stopped.”

“That puddle looks very deep.”

These are just innocuous remarks on something in common, the shared experience of the moment.

If my frame is good enough, I’ll go for some mild humor:

“Wow, it’s so warm, I think my fingernails are sweating.”

“It’s a good thing the rain stopped, it was really messing up my hair.” (I’m bald).

The tone of voice is important. It must be casual. Too serious and much of the opener can be lost.

The secret about such openers is to be keenly aware of your immediate surroundings. It’s incredibly important to have situational awareness, to know what’s going on around you, to notice the potential shared experiences.

To see what you have in common. To find the shared experience.

Such openers aren’t cheesy, they are friendly and inviting to continue the conversation.

If you get a positive response, keep going. Ask her a relatively innocuous question.

“Are you visiting or do you live here?”

This is always a great question because I have some canned responses.

“Oh you’re visiting, welcome to the village”, said in a very polite tone. Then I follow up with “Spend more money” in a very serious tone. This always gets a laugh.

“Ah, you’re a local. That makes seven of us.” This gets a laugh, too.

I do know that even such polite banter is very difficult for some guys. I really feel for shy men to whom such conversation is worse than a trip to the dentist. I always think of my friend, Taciturn Tom, who sits at the bar and can only muster up the strength to talk to the other regulars with whom he feels comfortable.

The shared experience opener is always good for me. Even if it takes practice, it’s something that I strongly recommend.

Her Reasons For Breaking Up

I have no TV.

I surf blogs.

I especially surf blogs written by young women claiming to give dating advice. It’s righteously funny stuff.

So, I run across this young woman’s blog and she has a list: “15 signs he really loves you”


No, this is a list of 15 signs of why she will break up with you.

Gentlemen, if you want to get your girlfriend to break up with you, do the things below:

1. Instead of texting, he actually calls.

2. He uses the pronoun “we” with regularity.

3. He takes allergy medication so he can hang with your cat.

4. He let’s you watch “Real Housewives” even when his team’s playing.

5. He knows your favorite flower.

6. He knows you secretly like Justin Bieber and he hasn’t told a soul.

7. He lets you have the aisle seat.

8. He likes looking at your baby pictures.

9. He remembers the dates of important occasions, like your birthday, the day you met, and when the newest season of “Mad Men” starts.

10. He puts up with your most annoying friends without complaining (too much).

11. He puts up with your crazy family without complaining (too much).

12. He talks about his feelings with you.

13. He introduces you to his mom and she already knows a lot about you.

14. He remembers stuff you said way back when you first started dating.

15. He says so (even when he doesn’t want something from you).


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