The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

It’s Not Your Fault! (Actually, It Is)

I read a lot. I read articles written for men. I read articles written for women. I read articles about cultural trends that affect the relationships between men and women. Even if I loathe the topic of the article, I still read it. I recently Tweeted that 80% of articles in women’s magazines and websites have one theme regardless of topic: “It’s not your fault”. I was exaggerating to make a point. There are plenty of other themes that women write about to each other.

When not excusing stupid and shitty female behavior because it’s not her fault, women’s magazines and articles do write about female self-improvement. This most often is about hair, fashion, and makeup. Such self-improvement is about looking more feminine. If we could only have more articles helping women to ACT in a more feminine manner. Writing for women is all about feel-good, emotionally validating, you go grrl content.

Contrast this with Red Pill articles and discussion threads written by men and for men. That writing unhesitatingly excoriates male readers for stupid or shitty life decisions. The strongest language is reserved for men who behave in ways that prevent them achieving the goals in their lives. Such a tone is not all about shame. Many men need a strong kick in the ass as motivation. Red Pill/Manosphere writers wield a powerful boot when it comes to these key areas where legions of men need improvement because of:

  • Limited Social Skills
  • Supplicating Behaviors
  • Lousy Style
  • Poor Diet and Health
  • No Confidence
  • General Invisibility To Women
  • Defeatist Mindset

Once the initial sting of the Red Pill foot-to-derriere has subsided, men have vast amounts of online resources to consult. There are blogs, message boards, videos, and consulting/coaching services. Few, if any, of such resources are available through mainstream media channels. Rollo’s or Cappy’s books aren’t available in bookstores. Ever hear of a Red Pill psychologist or counselor? Graduate schools simply don’t teach it because of the political incorrectness.

It’s particularly encouraging that many young men see the problems of the mainstream cultural lies they are told. Given their direct and personal experience, they know something’s dangerously wrong. The Manosphere gives them a place to find answers and direct advice on how to address those lies through honest self-improvement away from the stifling mainstream influence that attempts to suppress masculinity.

When read those “it’s not your fault” written by and for women, I roll my eye in wonderment at the ridiculousness. I then read the letters to dating coaches where women express their supreme frustration when they can’t meet their relationship goals. Do they not see the connection? I think that dating coaches are secretly and cleverly writing those articles to drive up demand for their business.

Most men are not stupid. This especially applies to young men not raised with the notion that they must put women on a pedestal while also being in touch with their feeeeeelings. I am encouraged by such young men. They easily navigate the Internet to find resources and information. They inevitably stumble into the Manosphere and other Red Pill websites. They are also quite willing to seek and consult other men for advice. I hope that older men can do the same.

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6 thoughts on “It’s Not Your Fault! (Actually, It Is)

  1. The percent of women who can pass my filter is under 5%–they are LTR material. The rest are candidates for Pump & Dump.

  2. Pingback: It’s Not Your Fault! (Actually, It Is) | Manosphere.com

  3. I hear you! I think the problem is that it’s difficult to be both confrontational and feminine at the same time. A woman who feels very comfortable giving other women a kick in the butt about being fat and disrespectful is unfortunately likely to be unfeminine herself at the core.

  4. To be honest, you wouldn’t find red pill advice in men’s print magazines either. The internet provides a lot of resources for men and women.

    The message most women get from men subtly or not so subtly is that their character and personality aren’t a priority. If a woman is young enough or attractive enough, he’ll hamster the rest.

  5. Having a woman only ‘look’ and ‘act’ more feminine without also having her BE more feminine is just like gift-wrapping a bag of putrid garbage.
    (And if it’s one thing that we men have learned over the last fifty years, it’s that women are VERY good at looking and acting like something that they are definitely NOT — like being good, faithful girlfriends and wives!)

    • Actions over words. Youth , beauty, and excitement are prized over character and femininity. This is the message drummed into us from the time we are little girls. It starts with media, but dating and relationships hammer it home. If it was valued nearly as high as the men in the sphere claimed, it would be cultivated by women. It isn’t valued by women because it isn’t valued by men. (Well, until, they’re old. And even then, if they had half a chance with a hot 18 year old…..)

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