Through some interesting turns of events involving an ex-girlfriend, I have very recently come into the possession of a dog. It’s a medium/small female mutt about three years old. She has a good personality and is extremely well trained. The dog, “Lucy”, is on long-term loan or perhaps a permanent acquisition. The ex-girlfriend in question is an extremely conscientious dog owner and took very good care of Lucy. I also knew Lucy from when we were dating and I really do like this dog.
So now I have a well-trained canine to assist in my day/night Game efforts in the village. I took Lucy for a walk just now and it took a matter of seconds for a couple of milfs with kids in tow to approach me while waiting to cross a busy street. As the dog is a mix of breeds with a unique, brindle coloration, she does get attention. But there is one problem.
Lucy is an ugly dog.
She’s not hideously ugly, but she’s not an attractive at all. But as I am good with words, I have already learned how to turn this to my advantage during my one short walk alone with her.
“Oh, your dog is so cute!”
[Pause, look away]. “No, Lucy is, well, [pause again]. Lucy is ugly [depressed and disappointed tone of voice].
Holy crap, those milfs were laughing hard.
A half hour later, I walk past them again.
“Here’s that cute dog again.”
As I pass them, I yell over my shoulder, “No, she’s ugly!”
I could still hear one of the milfs laughing above the sounds of traffic as Lucy and I walked on.
As I was sitting on the famous bench in the Village, I got to thinking of some humorous commands to give to my new canine companion in order to get some laughs from the women who will stop to “admire” this not-so-attractive dog:
Lucy, vote! Vote for a viable Republican presidential candidate!
Raise the debt ceiling!
Pay my bar tab!
[Ricky Ricardo voice] Lucy, you got some ‘splaining to do. (Hey, I’m off a certain age to remember that TV show)
Dang, this could be more fun than online dating.
A dog is better than a fuzzy, black hat for day and night Game peacocking. This goes double for an ugly dog.
I may not be blogging as much.
Update from my South African friend… “so now you have golf handicap”