The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “July 22, 2011”

A Woman Visits The Veterinarian…

“Doctor, I’m worried about my hamster.”

“What seems to be the problem?”

“I was surfing the web and discovered something called the ‘Manosphere'”

“Oh, that is serious. Let me guess, your hamster now seems unresponsive.”

“Yes, how did you know? I can’t seem to rationalize anything.”

“The Manosphere is deadly to rationalization hamsters. You probably read something about evolutionary psychology or entitlement princesses.”

“Yeah, I found it very disturbing yet oddly compelling.”

“Well, that’s both good and bad. It’s good for you because you’re learning some essential truths about our culture and the relationship between the genders. It’s bad because your hamster took a serious blow, at the very least, the wheel is seriously damaged.”

“I’m really attached to my hamster. He’s gotten me through a lot. Especially when I divorced my husband.”

“Got a big settlement, did you?”

“I deserved it.”

“And you’re 43 years old now?”

“I’m 39.”

“But your chart says you were born on… wait, you just said you’re 39 years old?”

“Don’t I look it? All my female friends say I don’t look a day over 35.”

“I think your rationalization hamster will live.”

“Really?”

“Well, it will need some rehabilitation. I want you to stop reading the Manosphere websites and read some feminist-oriented websites along with thefrisky.com and Cosmopolitan magazine. Be sure to Google the phrase ‘never settle’ and read those websites, too. Also, you need to spend lots more time with your female friends.”

“Anything else?”

“You’re still single, right?”

“Yes, and men suck.”

“Ah, your rationalization hamster is healthier than you think.”

“Oh, thank you doctor, you’re the best. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Well, what are you doing Saturday night?”

“What kind of car do you drive?”

“Nurse! Bring in the next patient, this hamster is healthy!”

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