There is a mantra amongst those teaching and practicing the Venusian arts – approach women, approach women, approach women. I also believe that’s an absolutely vital strategy for meeting and becoming more comfortable when interacting with women. But it requires vast confidence and smooth social skills (links below) to be an approach honey badger. Too many men simply don’t have that confidence and those social skills.
There is a growing cultural pathology that affects men quite deeply. It’s social isolation (link below) where a single man, outside of work retreats to his home, his television, his Internet connection, his gaming console and doesn’t deal with people face to face. He might interact digitally with people ’round the ‘Net but this really doesn’t count. The crucial direct interaction is missing. There are no gestures and other physical indicators of human-to-human communication to respond to.
Rather than urging men to approach women, I have a more modest exercise for single men to undertake – meet one new person every day. This doesn’t mean a quick hello or meaningless “How’re ya doing?”. It means actually exchanging names, handshake optional. For guys unaccustomed to this, it will initially feel awkward as hell. But after a few times, meeting someone new will feel more natural. Of course, there might be some awkward moments yet they will pass and will ultimately be forgotten.
Of course, meeting someone new every day requires getting out and about. It means actually changing the day-to-day routine in order to actually be around more people (link below). One of the best ways to meet new people is to go shopping, especially for clothes, accessories, and shoes. The salespeople are supposed to be friendly and helpful. A quick “What’s your name?” followed by your own introduction works well. Just move to the business of shopping with the help of the salesperson so that it’s clear the interaction is about the merchandise, not poker invitation. But any social interaction is an opportunity to meet someone new, regardless of gender.
This exercise was the idea of a friend and colleague and he has actually started doing this. I am encouraging to start a blog about his efforts so that he can serve as a possible example of how this exercise plays out. I’ve already got the Phat Guy (link below) blogging more about physical fitness. My colleague’s blog will be about social fitness.