Fuck, Marry, Kill (FMK) – The Game

This is a new parlor game and it’s not uncommon. As a parlor game, it serves to increase sociability amongst friends. The definition here sums it up nicely. I have never heard of straight guys playing this game but I’m sure it happens. The game illustrates quite nicely how the sexual market place (SMP) works and a person’s sexual market value (SMV). It’s a great insight into both how the feminine and masculine mentality works regarding the SMP and SMV. I am solely focusing on how women perceive and act regarding men in this context.

Here’s a video that shows a couple of chippies actually playing the game. The girls in the video is highly annoying so click on it knowing that tequila will be required afterward. Why is that young women are so annoying? Yeah, I’m old. Get off my lawn.

Here’s how it applies to how attraction works between men and women. The game is straightforward. Three names of the same sex are offered up. The person responding must assign a category of Fuck, Marry, or Kill. The Fuck category is fairly clear. It’s all about the sex. The Marry category gets a bit more opaque because a woman’s relationship goals are not fixed. A woman at 30 years old is looking at a man for more than just weekend of squishy passion. She’s thinking about father material. However, a woman at 45 and who has raised her kids may be looking back at the passionate weekend and consider the Fuck category more carefully. Hence, the “cougar” phenomenon. But a woman in her 50s might be considering the issues of financial and health security so is more concerned with the Marriage category.

As for the Kill category, these are the guys who have no chance at the other categories and so women would rather see them dead. Or, working invisibly to keep our culture running so that physical discomfort is avoided. Those would be your landscapers, sewer workers, miners, etc. These are also the guys with emotional of physical disabilities that render them totally unwanted by women. Short guys have this problem in spades. It works both ways. There are women in this category, as well. Seriously overweight women deal with this. But those women can lose weight. Short guys can’t grow.

In the graphic below (with fun captions!), I’ve summarized the FMK game and how it relates to the SMP. Note that are only 10% of men in the Fuck category. These are the green light guys. With looks, confidence, and charisma, they can plough (hehe) ahead with sexual conquests. The biggest category is in yellow, the Marry category at 70%. These are most guys. They tend to be safe, not particularly charismatic or affluent. They have child support to deal with, an insecure job to sweat over, and all the other stresses to deal with regarding ordinary life.

Given that attraction and dating is so challenging for so many after a certain age. There are things that both sexes can do to make it all a bit easier (this is aimed at the middle age crowd, you youngsters can go drink a Red Bull or something):

For men: Confidence, competence, charisma, and leadership. I know it sounds facile to just put this out there but these skills can be learned. To be put in the (Fuck) green category requires some seriously self-improvement. Physical and sartorial self-improvement is relatively straightforward. It’s the confidence and charisma that requires the most work. The purpose of such improvement is to move as close to the green category as possible. Bonus, this will also with life in general, including career. For the guys struggling with social skills, there’s a website for that.

For women: It’s much more easy. If a woman wants a man in the Fuck category, she has to be physically attractive… that’s it. That means appearing feminine and not being bossy and domineering. Flirty and pleasant women who are willing to dress the part can aspire to the green category. But there is one huge problem, the green category guys have options. They date younger women. Why? Because they can! No amount of shame or social expectation will change that. These are guys who do what they want with whom they want. The solution to that is to look more seriously at the guys in the yellow category. Here’s an excellent exercise for that. That requires effort and stepping out of one’s comfort zone.

I picked the colors for the graphic based on a traffic light. Green for go, yellow for caution, red for stop. I acknowledge that this is a very simply metaphor. I also acknowledge that when it comes to attraction and dating, humans can be very simplistic.

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A Request To The Guardian

This gets a bit complicated but bear with me.

There’s a new Guardian woman columnist who writes about attraction and dating for post-divorce singles. Oh, I know about that! This author has even covered Manosphere issues. Her complete list of blog posts can be found here.

I also blogged about her here.

In my initial blog post, I proposed this:

…have The Guardian fund a trip over here to South Florida. The weather must be awful over there right now. We could go to the beach.

The Guardian is a legitimate UK newspaper with a left-of-center editorial stance. I remember reading it when I was living in the UK so many years ago. I attended the University of Sussex for a year. I get links in my Twitter account to The Guardian and so read their articles often. There are similarities between American and UK culture that can’t be overlooked when considering the relationship between the sexes.

It’s complicated because of all the anonymity. I only know her twitter handle: @GreyStellaGrey and she writes under the pseudonym of “mid-life-ex-wife”. She also claims to be a 50-something single woman doing the online dating thing. But for all I know, it’s a gay man hoping to drum up some clickbait for The Guardian. But the author blocked my own Twitter account so she has no idea what I’m Tweeting. Thankfully, some of my followers are helping me out in this regard…Mina!

Here’s what I am proposing. “Stella” flies across the Atlantic to meet me for a date. Hey, it’s winter in the UK and the weather there sucks at this time of year. The weather here is quite nice. Imagine, The Guardian funds a trip to sunny, South Florida for a disillusioned, 50-something UK single woman to have a date with a one-eyed 50-something American dude who lives close to the beach and has an ugly dog (who snores). What can go wrong?

So here’s what I request… my readers send emails and tweets to The Guardian and “Stella” in order to try to make this happen. All I’m promising is some fine ice cream in my village of Lauderdale-by-the-Sea (that even sounds English!). That’s it. After the across-the-pond date, we can each blog about our respective dating experience with one another other. I get page views, The Guardian gets clicks. Win-win. There are some basic logistics to figure out but I’m sure the crack team of administrative types at The Guardian can handle it

This is going to be legendary!

Online Dating Features I’d Like To See

I’ve tried a bunch of online dating websites over the years. I have purchased the premium features so I could get more out of a particular website. I have also researched and talked to many people about what they find frustrating about online dating. As technology has advanced with bandwidth and data storage, online dating websites can add more features. I was having a nice phone conversation with a woman who is actually creating a new online dating website and she asked me for suggestions for her new website. I’ve been thinking about this for the past few days and here’s my list:

1. The expiring message

This is my best idea. Guys send out a message via the online dating website. He selects the “This message will expire option within certain period of time – 24 hours, 48 hours, whatever. When the woman receives the message, she’s alerted that the message will automatically expire (and be deleted) unless she responds to it. Better still, her profile is automatically blocked if she doesn’t respond within the selected period of time. #2 is related to that.

2. The cut and paste preventer

Guys send out way too many copy and paste messages. It’s embarrassing, ridiculous, and completely ruins the online dating experience for women. If he composes and sends out a copy and paste message, the online dating website scans his previous messages and determines if it’s a copy and paste message and displays a warning: “This message is identical to a previous message you have sent. Please change the message or it will not be sent.” Yeah, there will be work-arounds but this feature would ensure that lazy guys stay on their toes when sending out those messages.

3. The lack-of-photo profile blocker

This one is easy. If there is no photo, the profile will not be displayed and is not searchable. See #4

4. The fake profile nukage

Photos are easy to swipe from the ‘Net. But the ‘Net ain’t stupid. Try this  to find some matching images. When photos are posted for a new profile, the online dating website would automatically scan the ‘Net looking for the same images. If one is found of a good-looking person or celebrity, the new profile-poster is presented with this: “The photo you are attempting to upload matches the following photos and your account has been deleted. Sorry, no refunds.”

5. The body analyzer.

A new user attempts to upload a photo and they describe themselves as “slender” or 5’11” in the profile. The website’s algorithm analyzes the photo and assigns the proper weight and height. Hell, maybe it even assigns the accurate age.

I’m no longer the biggest fan of online dating because of the exaggerations and lies that happen with profiles. However, technology can help.

Middle-Aged Women And The Invisibility Factor

I recently read this opinion piece in The Guardian, a UK-based newspaper/website. It was posted in an odd category, “Online dating Mid-life ex-wife” The author of the piece, writing under a pseudonym, bemoans her invisibility to whom she calls “silver foxes”, guys in their fifties who still have it together in terms of looks

Here’s a salient paragraph:

There seems to be a gender imbalance, vis-a-vis the packaging thing. All the women I know are tolerant of middle age showing itself in a chap. We quite like a late flowering, in fact: the silvering, the smile lines, the coming of bodily sturdiness. We read these as signs that life has been lived and enjoyed. We read them as indicators of substance, of being substantial. In general, men don’t seem to grant us the same courtesy, at least not the men I meet online. They are highly focused on the packaging. It’s disheartening.

This is good news for guys in general. This is good news especially for guys who haven’t strapped 30 pounds of stomach fat above the belt line and who also have at least a modicum of charisma. I know personally what weight loss can do. I also know that charisma is a huge part of being attractive to women.

The author of the piece is very unhappy that men in her demographic aren’t looking at her, they look at much younger women. Well, duh.

Here’s another salient paragraph where the author asks a question to a male friend and he responds accurately:

These are just facts. Men like youth. They like long hair. They like colour. They like slender, as well. Sorry. You’re going to have to lose weight and grow your hair and wear red if you want the silver foxes to see you.

The question is, should I be prepared to change?

Change. There’s the ugly word from the whole story. We Manosphere men encourage self- improvement.

Masculine self-improvement is change. Sadly, when a guy has the audacity to recommend a woman lose weight and grow her hair, it’s usually perceived as a threat and the response from a middle-aged woman is often anger. As we get older, so much changes. What we wore and how we looked from our 20s is hugely different. Women get fat, men lose hair. This shit happens. The author of the above article is having a very difficult with recognizing that those silver foxes don’t notice her because of the changes that come with aging. The question for her is, “how many ordinary men have YOU looked at as you are out and about?”

Yeah, thought so. Change is inevitable.

If a woman in her 50s has been good with her body and her mind, she will get noticed. If she eschews those awful, “comfortable” outfits and makes an attempt at dressing herself to look more attractive, she will get some admiring looks. Being comfortable is a terrible and selfish excuse when being in public. I see that in both men and women. It’s revolting. When I want to draw attention to myself, I dress the part. But no fuzzy hats! For a man, it’s simply a matter of dressing one level up from the rest of the guys.

After an interesting Twitter exchange with the author, she made it clear that she doesn’t want my advice. That’s her choice. She also has to understand that her actions have consequences. Being unwilling to change and adapt to her current demographic landscape means she won’t meet her relationship goals.

However, I was rather flattered that she reads my blog and has been for quite some time. Noice! Stella, you’re a peach! You’re flawed and unyielding, but a peach nonetheless. If you weren’t across the pond, I’d have a date with you. Better yet, have The Guardian fund a trip over here to South Florida. The weather must be awful over there right now. We could go to the beach.

[Update: The author of the column blocked my Twitter account. Lulz!]

Dating Takes Courage

She clicked the wrong button on Plenty of Fish. She was viewing her auto-generated matches and there was my smiling face on her computer’s monitor. As her friends had encouraged her to try online dating, she jumped in, not really understanding all the various on-screen controls.

When I opened Plenty of Fish, I saw that her “meet me” message was in my inbox. I reviewed her profile and responded. I never respond with something long and involved. I keep things brief and positive. She responded back. I didn’t know the whole backstory of why she was online dating. She was a bit older than me and her photos showed a woman of an attractive and pleasant demeanor. Smiling makes a woman so much more attractive in her online dating profile photos.

With some back and forth messages that were brief and pleasant, phone numbers were exchanged. Texting resulted, as did a phone call. A daytime, weekend date was set up. It was ice cream at a very established local ice cream place close to where I live. I do a lot of walking.

She arrived a bit late because of parking issues but did send me a text letting me know that she would be late. That’s seriously polite. I hope everyone does the same. We found each other on a summer’s day and spent an hour or two chatting amicably while eating ice cream. The ice cream melted quite quickly.

This is where the courage comes in. This woman was not ready for dating. She knew it and she told me directly early in the conversation. I was not fazed. I enjoy being social and learning about people. It turns out, she’s a widow. Her husband of 20 years had died suddenly only about a year previously. I didn’t question her about the circumstances, that’s way too personal when meeting a person for the first time. She told me flat out that she was seriously considering texting me on multiple occasions to cancel our meeting. But she still came out to meet me. We had a fine chat.

The take-away lesson from that date is this: Dating takes courage. It means moving out of a comfortable space and actually going on dates. This woman did it. Even though she clicked a link accidentally, she followed up and went on a date with me. I was quite flattered. Dating requires introspection and adaptation to the current realities of the world. This includes both technology and social realities. Introspection takes courage. When that woman left the house to meet me, she was taking a big step.

I continually exhort men to get out of the house and be more social. This is a big part of the courage to go on dates. As well, women over a certain complain mightily that not enough men attend social events. Think about this, guys. There are more available single women out in meetspace. Online dating is all well and good but real life is so much better. Courage, gentlemen, courage.

Guys, Don’t Be A Blowhard

I’m often in public company, whether just walking in the village, attending a social event, or having a cold beverage at one of the several outdoor places here in the village. I like to listen to people have conversation and watch the social interactions amongst a generally middle-aged crowd.  For the most part, people are happy and civil. However, there’s always an exception. It’s the voice of the blowhard: (From Merriam-Webster)

a person who talks too much and who has strong opinions that other people dislike

In my part of the world, there is inevitably a guy over 45 with right-of-center political views. Given any opportunity he will make a loud, ill-informed (always) statement. It’s so loud and so ill-informed that he only serves to embarrass himself. It’s not attractive. Imagine a blowhard at a singles event. He’s offputting. He harshes the mellow. He is borderline offensive.

It’s OK to be an online blowhard. Hell, I’ve been accused of that enough times. But real life is a very different matter.  What happens online is not real life.

The blowhard lacks emotional self-control, a trait in men that is equally nasty as the same in women. I recognize the blowhard because I have to be careful not to be one. When I’m in public – and, shudder, on dates – I tend to talk too much about Red Pill ideas. Such notions sometimes don’t go over well and it takes a lot of my psychic energy to select my words very, very carefully. Men should always be careful about how they speak.

Being a blowhard is also related to being ready for dating. If a guy is compelled to talk about an ex on a first date, he’s not ready for dating. Likewise, if he feels compelled to talk about his political ideology on a first date, he’s not ready for dating. If a man can talk about something that encompasses different points of view, that means he’s intelligent and thoughtful about a particular subject. That’s very attractive to women. Intelligence is a turn-on.

I understand that making authoritative statements can make a woman swoon. But the massive caveat is that those statements must be about something she can relate to, not something that she has no interest in. As well, the know-it-all who loudly interjects a verbal opinion is not a confident maneuver. It’s an obnoxious maneuver.

There are too many guys that I would like to smack upside the head for being blowhards. But I won’t. I’ll focus on how I deliver my own opinions, not on the failures of how other men deliver theirs.

The Sexiest Part Of A Man’s Body

Note: Several twitter account links are included because I likes me some Twitter. Get yourselves some Twitter and follow me… @man_private

I follow about 1,100 accounts on Twitter. There’s a lot of political and cultural chatter that I take an interest in but rarely re-tweet or respond to with my own tweet(s). I do actively follow younger PUA (Pick Up Artist) guys because some of them are quite good at distilling solid attractive advice for men into cogent tweets. Here’s a great example from BE A PICKUP ARTIST;) @PUA_DATING_TIPS:

Pushovers are wussy, betas who don’t believe they deserve better treatment. GROW A SPINE. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF (with this photo attached).

Scoundrel ‏@ScoundrelBlog Responded with:

What’s the sexiest part of a man’s body?

His spine!

This, in spades. A man’s figurative backbone is the foundation of his confidence. Without that confidence, his attractiveness to women is at its nadir. Do note that I’m not a big fan of the whole alpha/beta binary. Masculine attractiveness is on a scale and is also contextual based on the current social situation, even unrelated to being attractive to women.

This twitter interchange brings us over to the world of professional dating coaches. Bobbi Palmer ‏@BobbiPal – who’s customer base is 100% women – asks:

What is one thing that a man can do that would totally surprise you in today’s world?

My response was this:

Show some backbone. The sexiest part of a man’s body is his spine.

Yes, she was asking that of her overwhelmingly female twitter following but I couldn’t resist because Bobbi is a clever person and knows good information when she reads it.

This is all theory for many guys, I know. Theory without practical steps is useless. So, here are some concrete steps for a man to follow. Yes, I covered this before but it always bears repeating.

1. Never ask for a date. State that you will have the date. “I’m enjoying this conversation/correspondence, we’re going to have a date.” The follow-up to that is that you plan and execute the date. Don’t make it fancy! Spending so much money on the first date is too much of a risk, for the man and woman alike.
2. Stand up straight, look the part, and dress one level up from all the other guys. This is not that difficult. Post-divorce guys can easily adopt a classic, masculine style of dress without looking like a fey hipster. In fact, any man over a certain age shouldn’t be trying to dress like some 20-something unless it’s a classic look. As well, men over a certain tend to be heavier and must dress to deal with that. It sickens me to see middle-age guys dress like slobs because it’s “comfortable”. Hell, it sickens me even more to women dress like for the same stupid rationalization.
3. Work on social skills. The first part of this is actually leaving the house and having an enthusiasm that actually involves being social. This does not mean hanging out in the local dive bar or hanging out at the local lodge. This means getting out of one’s social comfort zone occasionally and then having action social interactions with new people. Keep the politics out of such conversations. If you’re perceived as being a an uninformed political blowhard, you’re relationship goals will never be met. And, I’ll track you down and bitch slap you. If you have a political opinion, just shut up about it in public.
4. Learn some charisma. This is the hard part. This requires being clever verbally and understanding how a conversation ebbs and flows. There are no easy lessons for this except practice, practice, practice. Even us older guys can figure this out. But see the previous listing as a start. As well, watching ordinary TV sit-coms is a good way to see witty social interplay in action. Note the pacing and inflection in the voices. Emulate that. Back to point one, a man willing to dress better than all the other guys around him is a clear and obvious statement of confidence.

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Valentine’s Day – A High School Memory

I went to a very small private high school in New England. There were only 63 kids in my graduating class, a bit over 300 in the whole school. There were a lot of bright, creative young people. Quite a few went on to ivy league colleges. One or two became quite famous.

One particular guy in my class, Carl, was known for his creative and essentially harmless stunts he played on the school.  On Valentine’s day, our senior year, Carl did one of those stunts. Every Valentine’s day, the senior class sold flowers and delivered them to the wooden, wall-mounted cubbies (we called them that) in the halls each student was given to store his/her stuff. We didn’t have lockers. A student would order a flower and it would be given anonymously to the object of that student’s affection. A white flower was for friendship, a red flower was romance. Given that the student’s wooden cubbies didn’t have doors, the flowers received in a cubby (labeled with the student’s name) became something of a popularity contest. A pretty girl’s cubby would have a dozen or more flowers on display. A popular guy would have the same thing. For the record, I only received two flowers in my entire three years at the school.

Back to Carl. As a bright and clever fellow, he understood the social validation nature of the flower-giving on Valentine’s day at our school. So, he prepared an individual Valentine for every girl in the school, about 170 of them. He spent some time on preparations and on February 14, he arrived at school before the crack of down to execute his stunt. When the rest of the students arrived later in the morning, every girl found a Valentine token from Carl in her cubby. The whole school was laughing because Carl had pulled off quite a joke.

Here’s what he did – He wrote some very strategic words on a piece of ordinary, (8 1/2″ by 11″) white photocopier paper. He actually used some basic typesetting so the words weren’t hand-written. He then photocopied enough copies (again, on ordinary white paper) for every girl in the school. Before everyone else arrived for the school day, he went through the halls where the student cubbies were located and placed his Valentine message in only the girls’ cubbies.

The punchline?  The words on every identical photocopied Valentine message were these:

“You’re my one and only”.

Go Carl.

About A Woman’s Online Dating Profile Photos

Guys, when a woman posts her online dating profile photos, be keenly aware of the context of those photos. Too often, men focus on just the woman in the photo. That’s perfectly natural. It’s important that men look at the context of those photos. Perhaps it’s a girls night out. Perhaps it’s a cropped photo (cropping out the previous man) at a social event. Often, it’s a photo of her in an environment she is used to or one she aspires to again based on her past.

Watch out for a woman in a glamorous context or in an adventuresome exotic context. Here’s the breakdown:

• The Glamorous Context – She’s wearing a sexy going-out dress and she’s posed in front of a fancy place or at a fancy social event. If that’s what you’re into, perfect. But if you’re not into such things, be careful because the photos are telling you what she expects or what she wants. Here in South Florida, that includes photos of her while she’s reclining in the back of a large pleasure boat. The swimsuit looks grand. The boat is grand also. She’s got a friend or former lover who supplies that fancy boat. She won’t accept less in the future because of hypergamy and bragging rights to her friends.

Here’s an example. Note the yacht in the background. I think the single one is on the right…wait on the left. Damn, I don’t know. But she’s 53 with kids over 18. Yeah, she’s the one of the left. I think.

• The Adventuresome Context – This is the photo of her with the backdrop of Machu Picchu, the Grand Canyon, or zip-lining through the jungle. Again, if you’re into such things, perfect. This comes to expectations again. She will expect the same kinds of adventures with you in the future. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that unless you’re a guy who isn’t into that. There is also the issue of who supports those adventures. Perhaps the previous boyfriend or husband ponied up the dough. Maybe she had the resources to do it. No matter, if she’s got a new man, the expectation is that he pays for a lot of the future adventures. That’s especially true of warm climate women showing photos of herself snow skiing, an alarmingly expensive activity.

If you’re an ordinary, middle-aged fellow worrying about a job, child support, a mortgage, and the rest of life’s ordinary complications, be very attuned to a woman’s glamorous or adventuresome photos. She’s telling you with actions what her relationship expectations are. The best photos are of her at home, with pets, or with family. This how life works. Most women aren’t at fancy events or prowling the world looking for adventure.
Most women – and men – are dealing with the mundane realities of living day-to-day. Those realities are generally neither glamorous nor adventuresome. They are real and equally respectable. I’m reminded of my brother who raised two daughters by himself.

I understand the dilemma women face when posting up online dating profile photos. Being at a fancy event or doing something adventuresome invites a photo op. She’s proud of such things, much like a man holding up a fish he’s just caught (that’s a South Florida thing). Men and women are different so they each have different definitions of accomplishment and the photos that go along with it. Women have photos of themselves at a gala fundraiser, men have photos of themselves holding a fish. It’s the exact same thing, an accomplishment for each sex.

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Should I Do The Patreon Thing?

What is Patreon, you ask? Here’s the Wikipedia description:

“Artists set up a page on the Patreon website, where patrons can pledge to donate a given amount of money to an artist every time she or he creates a piece of art, optionally setting a monthly maximum. Alternatively a fixed monthly amount can be pledged. This is different from other crowdfunding platforms like Kickstarter, where artists obtain a single sum after a successful campaign and typically have to start over for every new piece.”

I’m not an artist. I’m a middle-aged, single guy with good attraction and dating information and an enthusiasm to share that information. I am definitely not a relationship adviser. I leave that to others.

What would I do with this Patreon endeavor?

1. Keep up with my blog much more regularly to serve an underserved market – solid and factual information regarding attraction and dating for post-divorce singles, especially men. What I’ve found is that donations motivate me. I guess that makes me a capitalist. The horror!

2. Expand the ways of how I deliver information. Blogging is just words and images. But videos and podcasts are a way in which many receive information. I would like to expand into those mediums. Producing such media is very time-consuming and not without expense. There is also the option of live video chats/presentations. Such content would only be available to patrons.

3. Be more available to speak directly to my audience. This is very rewarding for me but with a full-time job, I don’t have that much time. It’s frustrating for me because so many people need so much help. Dating coaches are expensive. A patron would get solid advice but without the immediate costs of a dating coach.

4. Go on more dates. This is the weird part but please bear with me. Having the time and resources to go out on simple dates is a serious part of my research. If I have the additional time, I can go on additional dates. This is about learning as much as possible about how attraction and dating works. At my age, dating is not about seduction. It’s about determining attraction and moving on to the next phase, more dates. Once again, I am not focusing on relationships.

Of course there is the donate button on my blog and I’m extremely grateful for the donations. Yet a steady stream of income would be more stable and allow me more time to devote to what I obviously love. I lead a simple and humble life that doesn’t require much regarding financial resources.  I’m not selling a book nor am I selling coaching services. I’ve found that many Red Pill bloggers and websites have to spend too much time marketing. I’m not a marketing guy. I’m just a guy with good information with a desire to spread it as efficiently as possible.

My blogging history is long. After four years, over two million page views, and almost 500 blog posts, it’s clear that I’m not going away. Hell, the cancer might kill me and that would be part of blog, albeit a minor one. Attraction and dating advice for post-divorce singles is my focus. I want to be able to maintain that focus.

Such a Patreon effort might attract controversy. I’m a unapologetic Red Pill and Manosphere guy and that approach to life has garnered serious criticism all across the ‘Net and in the mainstream media. I simply don’t care. What I care about is that post-divorce singles meet their relationship goals. This would be the first Red Pill Patreon effort. Bring on the criticism, I can take it.

I invite the input of my readers, either via email or via comments.  What say you about Patreon and me?