The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the month “September, 2015”

Pay To Play

No, I’m not talking about prostitution. Pay to play is the concept where a fee is levied in order to present information or entertainment to an audience that is not always aware that a fee is required to the entity creating the information or performing the entertainment.

Wikipedia has a good definition:

Pay to play, sometimes pay for play, is a phrase used for a variety of situations in which money is exchanged for services or the privilege to engage (play) in certain activities. The common denominator of all forms of pay to play is that one must pay to “get in the game,” with the sports analogy frequently arising

There are many examples of this concept in action. It’s likely better known for those folks aware of the live music scene. The Wikipedia page provides examples in other realms such as politics, stand-up comedy, radio, even corporate financing. Part of me understands and appreciates the need for an entry fee in order for a musician or stand up comedian to help the venue (or promoter) to make money. A huge part of the performing arts is a capitalistic endeavor motivated by profit.

Pay to play is moving into other areas. Last year, I was in communication with YourTango.com, an online source for dating and relationship advice. That website gets a lot of attention and plenty of page views. Dating advice folks brag that their content has been featured on YourTango. There is a section of that website with the name “YourTango Experts“. That was where my own content was to be published… for $48 a month at the time. Ah, pay to play. I declined.

Again, I completely understand charging folks like me for an online presence that gathers plenty o’ eyeballs. Besides, YourTango needs content and the profit margins always need to be improved. By charging content creators, it’s a win-win situation. YourTango gets content and some lucre as a bonus. The expert gets valuable exposure to help pitch a book or some type of coaching services.

How long until Huffington Post charges content creators? With so many website desperate for eyeballs, clicks, and the subsequent advertising revenue, it’s likely already happening, especially since so many content creators are pushing a book or a paid service. The trend was established years ago in the print publication industry. If an advertiser was willing to buy up enough ad space, the publication agreed to write a feature story about that business. Making things even more efficient, the advertiser sometimes actually WROTE that feature story. This still happens in local publications.

I have just learned about the Great Love Debate. It’s a series of shows and performances where the there is a fun and lively discussion about attraction and dating in a live audience format. I’ve watched quite a few of the available videos. In general, the format works. A friend recently attended one of these events in Austin, Texas and generally had good things to say.

The format of the Great Love Debate involves a group of attraction, dating, and relationship experts up on stage to speak more about audience questions and talk more about the subject matter. The videos show some lively talk and a generally engaged audience. With that in mind, I thought to myself that I could be one of those experts up on stage. I sent an email to the show’s organizers. The response I received was not unsurprised at the response. Given my under-the-radar status as a dating blogger, I was expected to pay a fee to be up on stage. Fair enough. Outside of the ‘sphere, I’m not particularly well-known.

As a reality check, I contacted a local dating coach to see if he had participated in the same show. He did last year here in Miami, but was not charged a fee given that his local public reputation is better than mine. This local dating coach, Dan Silverman, does better with his matchmaking services. A note for guys here in South Florida, his clients are heterosexual men and he has MANY more women available than he has male clients. I might have him write a guest post or do an interview with him so he can discuss what he’s learned from his matchmaker services for men.

There is a glaring problem with the pay to play business model. There are seriously reduced incentives to deny fees to the unqualified. Consider the the pay to play concept at a comedy club. The promoter or club owner accepts fees from performers who are not at all funny. The audience still pays for an entry ticket and drinks but is thoroughly  not amused by the terrible act(s) up on stage. No one wins but the promoter or club owner. But the win is short-lived because the club’s reputation will quickly be ruined.

This applies to any business model that charges an audience and also charges the performers. It’s fraught with difficulty because of financial incentives. The takeaway for guys is to be very circumspect about what advice they are reading on the ‘Net. If it’s pay to play, then the advice should be heavily discounted.

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On Feminine Pleasantness

[Note: Lots of links in this post to other blog posts I’ve written over the years]

Life is not easy. This is known. How we respond to the difficulties of life illustrates our essential character. Because men and women are different, the two sexes will have different emotional responses to life’s challenges. Men might become more intense, more focused as he concentrates to solve the problems at hand. That’s masculine and because the masculine attracts the feminine, women will be attracted to that.

The culturally discordant plague of “strong and independent” women try to face life’s problems by responding in a masculine way with the same focus and concentration that a man would manifest. But this is contra naturum and impacts women quite negatively in terms of mood and unhappiness. Trying to act like a man simply doesn’t make women happy and this, taken one step further, makes women less attractive to men. Please have a look at the five noble rules of dating.

In the realm of dating and attraction, consistent unpleasantness should never, ever be tolerated by a man. A woman having a bad day or days certainly happens. Having a bad week, month, or year where a woman’s mood never improves is a reason to stop dating that woman. Yes, that includes PMS and menopause. Guys, it’s not your job to make her overall mood and general happiness better. Emotional self-control comes from within and that includes the woman (or women) you are dating. I am not heartless. It’s perfectly reasonable to avoid making her bad mood worse. But if that means constantly walking on eggshells, just leave. It’s not worth the cost to your psyche to be dating such a personality type.

Have you heard or read either of these two hoary platitudes “If Momma’s happy, everyone is happy” or “happy wife, happy life”? Both those sentiments are complete crap. If Momma is unhappy, she’d best get her shit together emotionally. If wifey ain’t happy, it’s not the husband’s nor the family’s responsibility to boost that happiness, especially at the expense of the happiness of others. The woman who “speaks her mind” is also related to this.

A happy and pleasant demeanor is very feminine. A woman’s smile, despite her personal adversity, can melt a man’s heart. Actually, the ability to smile throughout tough times is ferociously attractive in a woman. It’s a wonderful sign of emotional resilience and self-reliance. Kindness, pleasantness, and caring are too often the first qualities a woman abandons when faced with adversity. A blast furnace of social expectations and media messages encourages women to act against their essential nature. This is where the bossy and domineering notion comes into play and it’s not something natural in a woman.

To be blunt and tactless – ladies, go be unhappy on your own time and keep it away from men and the dating process. When your feminine graciousness and pleasantness is restored – that’s up to you and no one else – meet men, go on dates, enjoy your life as you pursue your relationship goals. Your family and female friends will be there to help you through the tough times. Dates, boyfriends, fiancés, and husbands are not the ones to restore your happiness. This is part of your emotional self-control, a very attractive thing, indeed.

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Video Podcast 8 – Social Media & Men

After some introductory stuff about Periscope and the events in Asheville, NC, there’s a presentation of some strategy tips on how men should handle common social media.

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The “Boris Flight Simulator”

Hanging out with my readers in real life is always great fun because my readers are a clever bunch. I wish there were more local readers. But there are three or four who are great guys and have been helpful to them and I do hope that my blog has been helpful to them.

I was hanging out with my reader and friend, Boris, the other day. We were discussing life, work, and our approach to being social, especially in regards to women. Boris is relatively young (to me) and a white-collar professional with a good gig. He also has some serious ambition because in addition to his full-time job, he’s seriously in school to advance his degree. He takes his school work seriously.

To unwind, Boris sometimes visits strip clubs. As he is a clever and thoughtful fellow, he knows the score regarding how strip clubs and strippers operate. Of delusions about such establishments, he has none. When he attends a club like that, he has a particular goal in mind. No, it’s not to meet and date the dancers. Strippers are not good girlfriend material, he knows this. So why does he do this? Here are his brilliant words.

“A strip club is my flight simulator”.

The analogy is perfect. Before pilots actually take to the air with an aircraft, they often safely train in a technological simulator that represents an airplane flight with a virtual experience through sophisticated technology.

Though a strip club is not usually associated with sophisticated technology, it can be seen as a way for men to, in effect, practice their charisma with the opposite sex and not have to worry about the outcome. Such practice can help a man with his social skills and charisma with girls with no emotional crash and burn should the “flight” go awry and come to naught. It’s important to know that Boris considers a phone number as the mark of success for being in the simulator.

There are, of course, some caveats apply. Strippers are going to be receptive to a man’s interest. This is their job because table dances and stage tips are how they earn their keep. With this in mind, Boris escalates by going for a phone number. Keep in mind that good strippers are not only good on the pole (hehehe) they are also good marketers and will give out a phone number so that she can cultivate a group of free-spending guys.

What Boris does to counteract the girl’s marketing efforts is to be a modest spender and use his charisma to secure a phone number. This element is the essence of his flight simulator analogy. Strippers, like the vast majority of women, are after some type of security. But an exotic dancer in a strip club doesn’t have the luxury of a dating ritual to pursue. The dancer only has enough time as she can garner from a man’s attention in one shift. His attention is great because she wants to transform it into cash money.

Because Boris isn’t the hugely free-spending customer, he has to rely on his charisma and confidence to charm a phone number from a woman who has to rely on her physical assets and flirty charm to secure a table dance from him. This is somewhat similar to the whole dating and attraction model outside the doors of the gentlemen’s club.

One other point for guys considering the “Boris Flight Simulator”, don’t drink too much while at the club! Not only is it expensive, the alcohol can lead to some bad decisions including a costly visit to the champagne/VIP room. This puts the guy in the big spender category which completely ruins the flight simulator analogy.

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And don’t forget my one-on-one advice services]

 

 

Need Personalized Attraction & Dating Advice? Skype Me (Google+, too)

[Note: This blog post is always displayed at the top of my home page. For my most recent blog post, scroll down past this particular post]

Let’s start with a pleased client:

But with all the taboo around the pill it makes us men looks like women-hating misogynists and other naturals may not know what the hell “game” is. They just get it.

The Private Man just gets it too. You can schedule live lessons with him via Skype like I did and he’ll ask you introspective and goal-oriented questions to get you on the right track. It’s refreshing to have someone I can talk pill-lingo with and have someone just get it. The Private Man did not wait to criticize my looks, quickly learned what I’m struggling with in game, provided resources on how to improve my weaknesses, and created milestones for our next live meetings.

I highly recommend this type of one-on-one with the Private Man.

I did this a couple of years ago and got a nice response. So, I’m doing it again. I’ve now got much more research, observation, and experience under my belt so I’m even more prepared to help all men with attraction and dating advice from a truly honest perspective. Here’s a video so you can see and hear me.

This is all done via Skype only, audio and video. Each session is recorded (optional) so it can be reviewed. As well, I provide exercises and “homework” customized for each person. Here is a just a partial list of things that I can help with:

  • The mistakes you might be making once you’ve established an initial connection, whether online or in person.
  • Online dating advice including profile photos and text.
  • What you’re getting right or wrong during the dating process.
  • General encouragement for you to keep on with dating. It’s not easy, I know. My own mistakes (and how I fixed them), observations, and research will be helpful for you.
  • A safe place to vent. Guys get frustrated when dating and life  gets difficult. There are few places where some righteous disgust can be expressed without the tut-tutting of the feminine imperative getting in the way. I ain’t the feminine imperative.

Here is what you need before we can begin:

  • A Skype account and video capabilities on your computer or smart device. I’m Drewsky1962, add me as a contact. On Google+, I’m emailtheprivateman@gmail.com (Private Man)
  • A statement about your relationship goals.
  • A willingness to listen and implement specific solutions (I don’t give platitudes)

Each session will about an hour in length and I ask that you click the donate button at the end of all sessions. If you’re in South Florida, I can do in-person conversations.

Please note that I don’t give advice about serious, long-term relationships, I refer men and women to Athol Kay for that. However, I can refer guys to so to some other good informational websites for such things as fashion, health and diet, fitness, social skills, and more. While my blog is mostly aimed at men, I would be pleased to offer advice to post-divorce single women, too. Or, those women can hit up EMK or Bobbi Palmer because these two excellent and successful coaches have a 100% female clientele.

I’m very much looking forward to helping people. Because of my regular work in the technology sector, I’m particularly empathetic to attraction and dating challenges faced by technologists. So nerds, hit me up… we could talk about the perils of Agile software development.

[The Donate button is always available for clicking. You’ll find it on the top, right of every page or post in my blog.]

An Attraction Preference Is Never An “Ism”

Rarely do I venture into the culture conflict that plagues our social landscape with political correctness and the “blank slate” concept of human development. Attraction and dating information for post-divorce singles is my usual haunt and it’s a passion of mine. Sometimes, however, the small and pointless world of the social justice warrior (SJW) attempts to intrude into the fiercely realistic world of attraction, desire, and dating.

Through Twitter, I was informed of this recently published dreck from The Daily Beast. The article in question focuses on the gay community. But over the past few years, there has been discussion about individual’s attraction preferences in the context of dating between heterosexuals and gays.

If you’re a gay man, phrases like “no blacks” and “no Asians” aren’t just words that you’d find on old signs in a civil rights museum, they are an unavoidable and current feature of your online dating experience. On gay dating apps like Grindr and Scruff, some men post blunt and often offensive disclaimers on their profiles such as “no oldies,” “no fems,” and “no fatties.” Among the most ubiquitous are racial disclaimers like “no blacks” and “no Asians,” which are most frequently posted by white men.

A gay man defending himself from potential charges of misogyny because of his clear desire to not have sex with women provided a reasonable response:

Those who deploy these disclaimers defend themselves from accusations of “racism” by claiming that they merely have “preferences” for certain races over others. Wrote one gay blogger, “Don’t tell me I can’t have a preference! I don’t want to have sex with women. No hard feelings. Does that make me a misogynist?”

Naturally, a feminist in another article says much the same thing:

Claiming that someone is unworthy of associating with you because of race and hiding behind the flimsy excuse of sexual tastes or lack of hypothetical romantic chemistry is racist.

This is shame, pure and simple. The authors of those essays are using an old method to manipulate our attraction and dating behavior. It’s “attraction preference” shaming. Shame is crude, but fundamentally effective in the public sphere. Thankfully, online dating preferences are only barely public, much like an iceberg is mostly underwater and not visible. This ultimately saves dating from the horror of political correctness

The author of the second essay goes on to claim,

Race in itself has absolutely no bearing on a person’s effectiveness as a partner or their impact on a relationship.

It just doesn’t.

Well, if a potential partner’s race is sexually undesirable to the partner, that’s an extremely large impact on the potential relationship. Put simply, social shame can do nothing to increase sexual ardor and blood flow to the genitals. Desire is something that happens between our ears, not in the messy and dysfunctional world of social expectations. In effect, initial desire for another person is private, only manifested publically when an online dating profile is created and those preferences are readable by many.

Of course, the unintended consequence will be simply to drive people away from freely expressing their desires and words and using their actions instead. A man or woman eschews writing honest preferences and simply doesn’t send messages to, or reads messages from, those individuals whom they don’t find desirable for whatever reason.

There’s something else about these articles. They focus on the racial element of dating attractiveness preferences. All singles looking for love (or nookie) have a wide variety of preferences. At a basic level, heterosexuals prefer the opposite sex. Yet there is so much more involved. Height, weight, religion, personal habits, employment, status, are all of the many factors that are blended into attraction.

There are many articles and opinion pieces about this subject. They all reach towards the same conclusion, that attraction preferences, whether gay or straight, are somehow “crimethink” that go against a particular ideology. Will such an attitude lead to a whole raft of new shaming because all the preferences we have regarding potential romantic partners?

Dating is already challenging enough. Most people complain about the process. Such articles only heap ideological garbage on top something that is, fundamentally, a very private effort. Who we kiss is no one else’s business, especially not ideologically driven busy bodies trying to shame singles to fit into a cultural agenda. The actionable advice is this – ignore such attempts at shaming. Maintain your preferences as much as reasonably possible based on the economics of dating attractiveness, not the ideology of dating attractiveness.

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Video Podcast 7 – Bad Dating Advice

In this video podcast, I cover two pieces of really bad attraction and dating advice. [Note: This video’s focus is not quite as sharp as the others.]

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Ready For Dating? 15 Yes/No Questions For Men

Men are big on practical and actionable advice that’s not based on touchy-feely platitudes. Serving up aphorisms, “Love will find you when you least expect it”, is utterly useless for a guy who is looking to fulfill his relationship goals through active measures. Platitudes are for women who only want to feel good about their decisions, even if bad ones. Men ain’t women.

With you men in mind, here is a checklist to determine if you’re actually ready to start dating again after the end of a long term relationship, marriage or otherwise. I have added my comments, italics, for each item in the list. Also, I have included links to resources, either from my own blog or outside of it. Finally, this checklist also includes items related to online dating because that is a valid, if time-consuming, approach to meeting women.

Most of these questions are quite basic. A few require a man to put in time and effort for his own masculine self-improvement (MSI). I hear way too many unhappy stories about dating. The vast majority of these stories can be avoided if the man is properly prepared.

If you answered “No” to any of the following questions, you’re not ready for dating.

1. Do you have a dating wardrobe and are willing to wear it?

If the answer is no, get yourself some decent and up-to-date clothes. You don’t have to dress like some fey hipster. The point here is to dress one level up from all the guys around you. This includes accessories like a watch or a belt that matches your shoes. Women notice these things. There are plenty of available resources, here’s just one.

2. Is your hair new, neat, and not an embarrassment?

If no, get your hirsute head to a proper barber. You’re not Donald Trump. A pony-tail is a cliché of Baby Boomer proportions that too many men think are edgy and risky. #facepalm.

3. Can you have a conversation that doesn’t involve droning on about only one subject such as your job, your family, or the one enthusiasm your pursue?

If no, you’re boring or worse, a blowhard. Women aside, being a well-rounded man is attractive and charismatic to everyone around you.

4. Do you have basic social skills so you can carry a reasonable conversation and recognize verbal and non-verbal signals?

If no, you need to work on your social skills. This means getting out of the house and having real life social interactions with your fellow human beings.

5. Do you have a solid online dating profile complete with up-to-date photos?

If no, your profile sucks. For the text portion, write at least two paragraphs. Make sure your photos are good and recent. For both the words and photos, avoid clichés as much as possible. There are lots of resources for creating a good online dating profile.

6. Do you have interests and enthusiasms outside of work and family?

This is also part of being a well-rounded man. You get bonus points if your interests and enthusiasms involving real life social interactions with other people. You get bonus dating points if you actively attend singles group events and activities.

7. Do you have a list of interesting and cost-effective first date options ready to go?

If no, you’re not prepared to take the lead in the dating process. Women expect and respect that a man has ideas for a first date. She’s already decided to go on the date with you, any further decisions regarding that date are your responsibility.

8. Are you emotionally ready?

This question is a bit nebulous and requires serious introspection, I know. If you don’t think you’re emotionally ready for meeting and dating the dames, then you need some more time as a single guy and maybe if some professional help. Just watch out of politically correct therapist who is pushing an ideological agenda.

If you answer “Yes” to any of the following questions, you’re not ready for dating.

1. Do you feel compelled to talk about an ex (any ex) on a first date?

If yes, you’re not over your ex and you need to move on, no matter what wrongs you have experienced. Never ever talk about an ex, whether damning or praising, on a first date. Ever.

2. Do you have a hard time getting out of the house except for work, desperately needed errands, or child visitation?

If yes, you’re likely suffering from social isolation, a common problem for post-divorce guys. Getting out of the house is a huge part of relieving social isolation and loneliness.

3. Do you think life owes your something such as a great job and a hot dame?

If yes, you have an entitlement problem. You don’t deserve anything handed to you, you can only work hard for it and hope for the best. Oh, with this attitude, you’re likely an ass, too.

4. Do you avoid dealing with your health?

If yes, mortality is stalking you without mercy. Unhealthy habits such as smoking or drinking too much will ultimately kill you. Fix these things for yourself. After a certain age, health issues accelerate dramatically but many can be staved off through exercise and diet. Being overweight is attractive to no one. Men over a certain age also have a pattern of avoiding the physician.

5. Have you ever been accused of having anger issues?

If yes, address your emotional self-control because too much anger is too much for too many people. Also, anger is exhausting. A touch of righteous anger is OK but showing it constantly does you no favors in the dating department.

6. Are you too sensitive emotionally?

If yes, save your tears for something truly important. The sensitive, new-age guy (SNAG) is a rather sad guy who has embraced way too much of his feminine side. Remember guys, the masculine attracts the feminine.

Guys, dating can be fun. You can the opportunity to meet new people, work on social skills, and maybe even fulfill your relationship goals. Keep me posted on your progress in the comments.

[If you liked this blog post, please click the Donate button at the top of the page or hit up my Patreon. Thanks, guys.]

PUA? No, It’s Now MSI

My friend, Boris, is a typical guy looking for some answers about life, love, and coping with the world in a healthier and more realistic manner. Naturally, he was drawn to the Manosphere because this is one of the few places where the unvarnished truths about life are discussed. Boris mentioned the problem of where to begin. As Boris said, “there is no ‘start here’ Manosphere/Red Pill web page”. He’s right and I’m going to take a stab at it in a later blog post.

While taking some notes on an introduction to the Manosphere, I quickly discovered that there is a nomenclature problem that I will cover later but first I must describe the basics elements of the Manosphere. There are three basic divisions within the ‘Sphere:

1. MRAs – “Mens Rights Activists”. These are the cultural and political soldiers who call attention to the often egregious inequalities in our current legal and social system. If you’re looking for true equality between the sexes, these are the people with whom to align and support. This group also gets the most mainstream media coverage, usually by lazy or ideological-driven “journalists”.

2. MGTOWs – “Men Going Their Own Way” (It’s pronounced “Mig-Tao”) Welcome to the group of men who reject most of the social expectations foisted on the male sex. These are the expectations of self-sacrifice, following the approved life script that insists on cow towing to the feminine imperative, and being cultural cannon fodder for a socio-economic system that views men as completely expendable or simply invisible. MGTOWs ain’t havin’ any of that crap.

3. PUAs – “Pick Up Artists”. Want to learn how women think and act in the context of attraction and seduction? This group of men (and women!) are the part of the Manosphere that has a deep and truthful understanding of the minds of women. Sometimes it’s not pretty to read or watch because PUAs know that women are fundamentally predictable when it comes to the attraction patterns they have for men.

For all the lazy and ideological-driven journalists out there, these three groups have distinct and very different world views. In fact, these three groups are sometimes in conflict despite all being part of the same loose collection of blogs and websites that present and discuss issues related specifically to the male sex. To see the Manosphere as a monolithic cultural entity to play fast, loose, and stupid with the easily-researched facts.

Circling back, it’s the designation of “PUA” that is causing me the linguistic grief. The term is simply too old-fashioned now. A few years back, the PUA “movement” was quite the thing. Does anyone remember “The Pickup Artist” on VH1? Consider that the heyday of public awareness of PUA, for better and worse.

PUA is still with us in the form of “dating” coaches who sell boot camps and online classes. Their marketing messages are often ridiculous. “Watch this video and get laid tonight!” That sort of thing. Eh, it’s business. But few of these capitalistic refer to themselves as pickup artists. That term is quietly fading away because it has a negative connotation and it doesn’t begin to cover the very large field of men improving themselves.

So, in keeping with the recent them of coining new linguistic terms (here, here, and here), I propose that PUA be retired completely and a new term be used in lieu of that. The core ethos of being a more attractive man is Masculine Self Improvement, or MSI. There is so much that goes into MSI – physical appearance, charisma, social skills, confidence, and more. Also, MSI is NOT just being more attractive to the opposite sex. In fact, just being more attractive to women is the completely wrong approach. Men must look at self-improvement as a, frankly, very selfish approach to life. There’s not a thing wrong with that.

With a new bit of Manosphere nomenclature, it will become easier for me to a write a “start here” blog post or completely new blog page. For that page, I won’t be covering the MRA and MGTOW divisions of the ‘Sphere because I’m neither of those but I will be linking to websites that go into more detail.

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Labor Day Weekend Blog Post Mélange

I was recently hanging out with a very loyal reader, Boris (such a great pseudonym!). We had a nice discussion about the Manosphere, women, and our recent experiences with both. Some of the conversation was rather personal and so I won’t share it here. Thankfully, the conversation brought up three disparate topics that a worthy of exploring just a bit. As well, there is a bonus (and relatively brief) video to share.

1. Boris raised a very interesting problem faced by newcomers to the Manosphere and Red Pill wisdom. He spoke of a roadmap or a path for such newcomers to follow once they are introduced to this way of thinking. There are so many Manosphere blogs and websites that it is confusing and overwhelming. Where does a guy start? My blog is, admittedly, poorly categorized with too many almost-random posts. Many Mansphere blogs are much the same way.

As Boris said, “there is no ‘start here’ Manosphere/Red Pill web page”. He brought this up because a friend of his eventually joined us and Boris wanted to talk about the Manosphere. There are certainly many good blog for his friend to read but as a total newbie to this part of the web, that friend is presented with an intellectual briar patch and with no obvious entry. This presents a great opportunity for any Manosphere blogger, including me. I’ll be thinking a lot about this over the weekend.

2. Boris sometimes visits strip clubs here in Broward County. There are plenty of such places to chose from here and he knows several of them. Boris made it very clear that he knew the game with strippers and simply used the stripper and strip club experience as a “flight simulator”. I thought the analogy was wickedly funny and equally true. He gets to practice his charisma but knows that he’s not leaving the runway, so to speak. If he can get a few phone numbers without tossing around a few sawbucks (20 dollar bills), he’s gained some valuable practice in the flight simulator.

3. Boris’s friend, Sergei (sticking with Russian pseudonyms) presented a great new bit of dating nomenclature that needs to be spread around, especially for post-divorce guys. You’ve heard of the “cougar”, of course. Sergei mentioned the term “snow leopard”. He wasn’t referring to the endangered predatory cat from the Himalayas. He was referring to predatory women of a certain age where their hair is white. The visual image of that term is very amusing and not without truth as I have seen on the online dating website, “OurTime”. So let’s work on spreading this term around. We’ve already got twigging and quantum selection going, the nomenclature hat-trick is quite the linguistic coup.

And now, the bonus video! This was me experimenting with a few outside shots at a local restaurant with and outdoor bar. It was noisy but I think I had the sound sorted out so my voice came through clearly. Because this is only a brief experiment, I’m not going to categorize this as a video podcast.

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