The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the month “December, 2012”

First Date From Online Dating – Protocol For Men

[Note: My target demographic is for a cohort over a certain age. You youngsters can sit this one out. Damned punks… get off my lawn!]

So, you got yourself a date with a woman from online dating. Of course you didn’t ask for a date, you stated it (link below). “Keep Friday evening open, I’ll take care of the rest.” That’s a confident line, right there. Do you know how many men actually show such confidence? Not nearly enough. Welcome to Club Charisma. You’ve now just entered the group of the top 20% of men.

You obviously picked something simple like ice cream or maybe a trip to the bookstore. Coffee is out because it’s been done to death and doesn’t speak well to your creativity. Dinner is also out because it’s too much cash for a first date with someone you don’t really know. A movie? Please, you’re smarter than that. Never, ever do a dinner and movie first date. You’re welcome.

So you perhaps picked a happy hour at a relatively upscale place. Happy hours are good because it’s relatively inexpensive and if the date goes really well you can segue to dinner, preferably at another pace because of reasons discussed below. But please, don’t drink too much. Also, it’s a public space so your date should feel comfortable. If she is not comfortable with a place that serves booze, think about the book store. Of course you like the bookstore, you literate SOB.

A weeknight is good for first dates because a Saturday date is too laden with formality and expectations. A first date is merely a chance to see if there is enough mutual attraction for a potential second date. Don’t overdo first dates, ever. If you do, your membership card to Club Charisma is instantly revoked.

No matter what her age, there’s at least a 50% chance she will flake. A good flake will involve a counter offer via voice or text. “Something’s come up and I’d like to reschedule for another time.” That’s a good flake because she still wants to see you. A bad flake has no counter offer. Don’t ask for one. Tell her you’ll call her another time (you won’t) or ignore the text. Then block her online dating profile. She’s done. The worst flake is when she simply doesn’t show up with no notice at all. Even grown-up women do this. Get used to it.

If it’s a weekday date after work, you should dress reasonably well. If you have a casual work environment, think seriously about changing beforehand. Showing up with sloppy dress is not cool. You’re better than that. Standing out with good clothes is a serious hallmark of a confident man.

As you’re meeting in a public place, arriving early is not a problem because it gives you time to observe other people in a social environment, that’s a learning opportunity. Arriving just a few minutes late is also an option because it signals to her that you have a full and busy life.

Before the date, arrange with a friend to call you during the date or send you a text. If she’s smart, she’s likely done the same thing. This is the “bail out!” option. If your date is obviously not going well – for whatever reason – that phone call will save you without an awkward way out. “Oh crap, I have an emergency I have to deal with, I am so sorry.” It’s a nice excuse and protects feelings. Just be aware that it can be used on you, too.

Things get sticky now. As you’re a smart online dater (link below), your profile contained honest and realistic photos. Your date, however, may have very well posted much older photos or even photoshopped photos. If she looks nothing like those photos or is too unattractive to you for some reason, you might be in a tight spot. Thankfully, you’ve arranged for the bail-out call in advance. Use that opportunity. Egregious online dating profile lies should not be encouraged. As you’ve got other options, you can move on to the next one.

The date should be light-hearted and fun. Make jokes, laugh, tease, flirt. In your conversation, avoid the heavy topics like religion, politics, and past relationships. Here’s a great rule of thumb – if you feel compelled to talk about your exes, you are not ready for dating. The same applies to her. If she starts bad-mouthing her exes, that’s a huge red-flag. Talk of the exes is a dating killer.

If you find yourself truly attracted to this woman, it’s time to ramp up your Charisma. You’ve been reading my blog, right? Now the pick up artistry (PUA) stuff applies. Use it for good, not evil. When you bounce venues and you have any time on foot, tell her to take your arm. Insist on it. It’s a bold and confident move.

If you’ve bounced to a new venue, a second date is almost guaranteed. You needn’t push for seduction. In fact, at our age, it’s rather unseemly and pushy. You’ve got the second date. To secure it, take her firmly in your arms and go for the kiss. That’s why she’s holding your arm. She’s comfortable with you. Going for the kiss is a bold and confident maneuver. Women adore that, no matter what they say. Easy on the tongue, tiger. Once the kiss is done, hit that second venue and don’t speak of the kiss again until the end of the date. You’re giving the impression that such kissing is perfectly normal to you… pre-selection, what a concept.

I’m going to bow out of the seduction potential at the end of the date. That’s not my style (as my first dates will attest) because I’m over a certain age. You do what you want. PUA will be your guide. Now is the time for post-date follow up. Text her the next day, in the afternoon. “That was a fine first date!” is the text – not a phone call. If you get a positive text in return, go for the second date and be bold about it. “Our second date will be [insert activity that you want]. That one can be dinner or something more involved…and not a movie! Dates are about the time spent together, not the activity you might be doing.

You can also expect the “you’re not the one” text. It’s always a text, I know this. Take this in stride because it happens often enough. Despite the kiss ( or even the seduction), despite your perceived attraction from her, it’s her decision to bail on the second date. It’s also your decision to do the same and pursue your other options. And you should. When a woman states that you’re not the one, you’re done. You’re toast, It’s over before it began. If you don’t like it, you’re not ready for Dating 2.0. But remember that while women are the gatekeepers to sexuality, men are the gatekeepers to commitment.

Lest my readers think that I am too pro-masculine, a future blog post will be about protocol for women regarding their first date from online dating. Warning: I will be dishing up some inside information.

Good Frame: Statements, Not Questions

Online Dating, A Short Primer

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Satire Ahoy! Advice For Princesses And Goddesses

Dating and relationships are so difficult. It’s so hard for the modern, sassy woman to find Mr. Perfect only to find herself in a relationship with Mr. Chump who is incapable of making her happy. I’ve got some solid advice here so if you’re single, find yourself a pint of your favorite ice cream, put your favorite cat on your lap and start reading. If you’re married or in a serious relationship, do the same but skip the cat. Any modern gal in a relationship should know about the dating game because being single is so fabulous! There’s no baffoonish man making your life complicated and you can shop ’til you drop without an annoying Y chromosome type looking over your credit card statement.

For any woman, whether single or not, the name of the game is you and your feminine fabulousness, no matter how you express it. Every woman is both a princess who deserves to be spoiled and a goddess who is wise, powerful, and all-knowing. Your needs, your desires, your whims deserve to be fulfilled. Your very happiness is at stake, after all. If you’re not 100%  happy, there’s something outside you causing that and as a princess and goddesses, you have to change it. For most women, that unhappiness is not having a man in her life or having the wrong man in her life.

Now I have to break it down for the single girls. Here’s my advice: Prince Charming is right around the corner so don’t accept second best. How do you know he’s second best? He doesn’t make your heart soar and your libido swoon. It’s just that simple. As you meet men – I recommend online dating – be sure that the chemistry is immediate and powerful. If you don’t want to jump his bones instantly, ditch him fast because your va-jay-jay will never forgive you if you don’t. There’s a strong, good-looking, successful guy just for you and never, ever settle for anything else. Your soulmate is out there looking for you. You don’t have to change yourself in any way. He should adore you for all of you, even if your curves are especially curvy. There’s simply more of you to love. Embrace your personality quirks. If you cry or get angry easily and for no real reason, that’s who you are and it’s simply fabulous.

The easiest way for a strong and independent woman to find a man is to use online dating. It’s easy and can be free. Find your best photos. It really doesn’t matter if they are bit older, your more youthful body is a better reflection of your wonderful inner beauty. Write a really good profile. The best ones list out in detail what you deserve in a man. Be extremely specific. The great thing about online dating is that your in-box will be constantly filled with guys telling you how beautiful you are. This might take some time but a whole bunch of tasty snacks to feed your body will make you feel better while you read your many messages. The bad part about online dating is that many unsuitable men will be contacting you. They will be too short, too old, too ugly, too poor, too desperate. You might find an incredible guy online and so you should send him a message. Tell him what you deserve in a man and make him prove that he’s up to the task of making you 100% happy.

If any incredibly lucky guy scores a date with you, take the opportunity to assess him carefully. You must be on the lookout for reasons to dump him and quickly. There is no frivolous reason to ditch a man. It’s all about you, remember? You are the lead actress, director, and producer in the movie that is your life. You’re looking for the best supporting actor you can find to join you in your Oscar-winning movie. Don’t be afraid to walk out on a date. You might run into Mr. Perfect on the sidewalk. Just so you know, your date pays for everything and should have brought a nice gift for you. If he didn’t do those things, you have to cut and run. Right after dinner, of course. A smart woman never turns down a free meal. Surf and turf tastes so much better when it doesn’t dent your shoe budget.

If you find that magical, instant chemistry with a guy, test him a little. He has to constantly prove himself as a quality suitor. Also, keep him on his toes by breaking dates at the last minute and generally being a little evasive. Princesses and goddesses are in short supply. If he tires of the testing, just go back online and find a new potential paramour. They’re waiting for you. As for sex? If you want to have some nookie time, even on a first date, go for it! We live in the age where it simply doesn’t matter how much or how often a woman expresses her sexuality. You go, you sexy grrl!

For you attached ladies, you really need to evaluate the current state of your relationship. As a princess and goddess, you deserve complete happiness. Oh, and being only somewhat happy doesn’t count. If that man in your life isn’t making you 100% happy, seriously consider trading him in for a better model. He’s probably already thinking about doing the same thing, typical in men who can’t handle a goddess like you. A break up or divorce is short-term pain in exchange for long-term gain. Imagine yourself as the free woman, untied from a man who is likely holding you back. You are free to pursue your passions, to travel the world, to lead a fulfilling life. You’ll also be free to find a man who adores you, even if you’re a single mom and no longer quite the 20-something girl from a few, ahem, years ago.

So, are all you incredible girls ready to take on the world and find your happiness? Ready… Set… GO!

[This post was inspired by Roosh’s Compliment and Cuddle and is a repeat post of mine. It should serve as a reminder of all the miserably bad dating and relationship advice given to women.]

Why Is Dating So Horrible?

There are two reasons. First, there are these words – “polite company”. It’s really rather simple. When we discuss dating in polite company (Ed – not while actually on a date), we tell each other lies. We tell each other what we are expected to say, not the actual truth of the matter. Worse, we believe the words. This is not a gender issue, it’s a polite company issue. In our zeal to avoid offending our delicate sensibilities, we set ourselves up for failure.

The results are predictable. As we believe those pretty lies (HT, Heartiste), our expectations become unrealistic. So then frustration and disappointment sets in when faced with the reality of meeting new people with the intent of dating. The contrast between the pretty lies and the actual dating process is big and ugly. It’s where words and actions never seem to meet.

The second reason dating sucks is the word “deserve”. We tell each other that we deserve to have everything we want in the opposite sex. Women tell this to each quite often as a way of bolstering egos and soothing hurt feelings. Ellen tells her perpetually single friend that she deserves a great man. The single friend internalizes that concept and dating success continues to elude her.

Men, however, can also have this attitude but it’s not expressed verbally nearly as often. Witness the whole “nice guy” social phenomenon. Men have been told to “be nice” and he will be more attractive to women. The man internalizes that and his attitude shifts to “I’m nice so I deserve this particular woman”. Love and laughter do not ensue for him.

It’s time for some candor. Men and women deserve nothing when it comes to dating the opposite sex. If we deserve anything, we deserve to know the truth about attraction and dating. Everything else, especially dating, requires effort in order to achieve success.

Yes, dating is horrible. But it doesn’t have to be. Armed with the truths about how men and women are actually attracted to each other, we have a fighting chance of actually reaching our relationship goals. The truth is coming out through blogs like this, self-published books, and a growing number of dating coaches willing to confront the social expectations of “polite company”.

Some background:

The Vicious Circle of Lies and Misinformation With Good News

The Vicious Cycle Of Misinformation And Lies

A Subject That I’ve Been Avoiding

A reader made a comment and it contains a request for advice and information on a topic that I can’t really address. This is due to simple ignorance on my part. I have done no research nor do I have any experience in this area.

So, read the comment to see what the issue is and perhaps one of my outstandingly brilliant readers can address it with a comment.  And it gets complicated… she’s 35. Thanks in advance.

I only recently found your website and I must say, it is really refreshing to read guys opinions on dating/understanding women etc – world only knows how many similar articles there are by women on how to understand men.

Let me just mention to you that I, for one, am the person who doesn’t believe in dating rules. I believe in being yourself and natural. I am not here for looking for the dating advice, as I’m not ready for this kind of thing – not yet anyway.

But what I would like to ask you is to point me out to an article that would talk about,  widows – meaning, what do you think one should talk about to another when there’s been 2 years of an awful black hole of recovery and when you have spent lovely and respectful years with your partner.

I know that at this stage, having the near perfect relationship (yes near to perfect and yes, there have been disagreement as anyone would in a normal relationship), the requirements get higher.

Partly because now I know what makes me happy and know what made/ did not make him happy. If you have something you wrote down before or would be interested in investigating it, it would be great. It would be nice to see what guys/men think of that or how have you/they come out it.

Oh, Come On…

I think one of my Manosphere buddies sent the following comment. It was in response to A Social Exercise For Men (link below).

What do ANY of you “guys” know about dating and “picking up” women?! You are all very bitter, hateful, chauvinistic, misogynistic, and more. Us women can smell that from a mile away. Why don’t you be brave and post your “gorgeous” photos here? I’m sure you are all built like Adonis, have extremely high i.q.’s, dress well, smell great, are successful, well groomed and fabulous. Right? It’s easy to write an anonymous blog bitching about women. You are not ph.D’s, psychologists, therapists, or social workers, OR have you been successful wooing the ladies. You are like little babies-you cry and scream when you don”t get your own way i.e. when a woman won”t give you the time of day.

Seriously? Bill? Mentu?

A Social Exercise For Men

Dating 2.0 – Good News & Bad News For Women

One of the most prominent and public of the Pick Up Artistry (PUA) guys is Roosh. He travels the world, writes books, and also blogs (link below). His forum is quite active with a few thousand guys in ongoing discussions about women, relationships, and life in general. His latest blog post (link below) describes a phenomenon that seems quite natural for younger men. Here’s the money quote:

Fast forward to today and I don’t get nearly as many emails from guys expressing their desire for girlfriends or marriage. In the past, game used to be seen as a means to an end, but I see a shift where now game is the end. Many guys just want to fuck a lot of women for an extended period of time. They seek more to imitate rock stars than stable family men.

The main reason for this shift is that there is little incentive for men to choose monogamy, which used to be a requirement for regular sex. But now women are volunteering to be in harems. Players only need to send a terse text message with improper grammar to get women to come over for sex.

A middle-aged guy with confidence, competence, Charisma, and leadership can also play the mini-relationship game. I personally know several gray-haired lotharios doing precisely that, usually with younger women. This is actually good news for women looking for commitment. It’s good news for two reasons –

1. She can quickly screen out such commitment-avoident men by not rushing into the bedroom for some sexy time. The lotharios will quickly move on but a man interested in commitment won’t rush things. Of course, she will likely be very attracted to such cads and tend to ignore other men. Thankfully, there’s an exercise for that (links below).

2. She can learn the feminine skills necessary to create attraction and maintain a man’s interest to the point of commitment. Such information is widely available in areas of the ‘Net unaffected by the poison of the mainstream media. Of course, these will be the politically incorrect feminine skills so it will be challenging to square off against some ridiculous and emotionally damaging social expectations.

It’s bad news for women because as more and more men understand and practice their Charisma, more and more men will be tempted to eschew a committed relationship and go for soft harems or a series of mini-relationships. To counter this, a woman is required to understand and learn how to be feminine in the context of a committed relationship. That is something outside the scope of this blog. However, Athol Kay (link below) can take over nicely at that point.


RoosyV – The Rise Of The Mini-Relationship

A Dating Exercise For Women

A Dating Exercise For Women – Amazing Follow Up

Athol Kay (Book and Blog)

A Social Exercise For Men

One of my readers commented that he wanted more specific exercises and less theory. I agree. I have already started with the Read Her Mood exercise (link below). Thankfully, Danny called me with an exercise that he originally posted about some months ago. It’s a fairly simple exercise…

Every time you are required to interact with a woman while doing your errands – think retail employees, bank tellers, even the DMV (shudder) – make a point to give her a light compliment. Don’t stare at her, don’t mumble, and don’t lean in too close. It’s not quite a throw-away compliment and it’s not your goal to get her number.

Here are some suggestions on what to compliment:

  • Ear rings (thanks Danny)
  • Glasses
  • Other accessories and jewelry
  • Hair style
  • Eyes
  • Make up

Don’t compliment with anything that relates to her body. Stick to the face, hair, or something on her wrists.

I’m not going to give examples of specific compliments because memorized lines never, ever sound natural. It’s up to you to figure this out on your own. With practice, you’ll get quite good at it and you will be remembered.

Don’t use this compliment (courtesy my weird colleague): “Yo shorty, you got some nice bilateral symmetry.” Damn, he’s weird.

Once the compliment is delivered, quickly note the response. Most women will smile and take pleasure in what you said. Hey, you probably made her day. If she looks uncomfortable, there maybe something in your demeanor that makes her uncomfortable. If this happens consistently, you must work on this.

When the transaction is complete, move on because you’ve got a busy life. In fact, if you’re making a point to run more errands (link below), you’re definitely a busy man.

This exercise serves three purposes:

1. It gets you to notice women you might not normally notice. Women are everywhere but men tend to only notice the more attractive ones.

2. It gets you to observe (be subtle, dammit!) an individual woman’s features other than her torso (never look at her chest!). You’ll get good at this and be able to do it quickly.

3. It helps with a man’s overall social skills and ability to communicate quickly and effectively.

As you get really good at this, you can take it to the flirting level. This can be especially fun but takes some serious ability to read women and the social context.

A Dating Exercise For Men

Run Your Errands Alone

A Request To My Readers…

This blog is approaching a million page views. It’s also approaching its two-year anniversary. There will be a big change here soon and I need help from my readers to assist in that change. No, no more asking for money but I will leave up the donate button.

Here is what I request – a testimonial regarding the advice and information I have provided via my posts. Just stick it in the comments or shoot me an email (emailtheprivateman at gmail). Sign your testimonial with your first name, gender, and age. The age and gender are very important. Please don’t mention the word “Manosphere”. I hate to say that but I have my reasons.

And many thanks. My readers and commenters have made this blog the success that it is and I am supremely grateful for you all.

Here’s a hint regarding the big change: If all goes according to plan, get ready for “Red Pill Dating: Men, Women, Dating, Truth” (or something like that.)

Men – The Gatekeepers To Commitment (Long Post)

[I wrote this post back in August of this year. It’s still valid]

An interesting blog post over at Hooking Up Smart (link and note below) gives 25 Politically Incorrect But Effective Ways to Make Him Your Boyfriend. In the comments, I chimed in with:

The first item on the list should be “Know that he is the gatekeeper to commitment and that he can rescind that commitment at any time and for any reason. It is your supremely rewarding pleasure to maintain his desire and motivation to keep that commitment.”

Susan Walsh, the blog-mistress there, agreed.

A follow-up comment from HanSolo asked for some clarification on the concept that men are the gatekeepers to commitment. This commenter also made some excellent points (in boldface):

How true is it that men really are the gatekeepers to commitment?

The general principle to be a gatekeeper seems to be that he or she who decides last (or less often or less readily) is the gatekeeper since the other has already decided she or he wants it.

With sex, especially casual sex, women are seen as the gatekeepers since on average men want it significantly more and with less discrimination regarding whom.

In light of this post (aka, that many young women need this advice) and that many women in there 20′s don’t want a relationship but would rather study, work or party. Plus, with the many young women who will excessively blow out a guy for seeming too needy and clingy if he expresses that he’s looking for a relationship and not just casual (I’m not talking about the legitimacy of a guy waiting long enough to know her to like her beyond her looks). I would say these types are a minority but still a significant percentage that definitely affects the market. The other factor is hypergamy. If the 6 girl won’t even go out or hang out or whatever with the 6 guy who wants a relationship then effectively she is the gatekeeper and is preemptively keeping her relationship gate shut to him.

Now with the players and cads who are getting lots of attention then they are certainly gatekeepers for commitment because they either don’t want it at all or can be very selective in whom they commit to. In generically assigning men as the gatekeepers of commitment I wonder if there is not a bit of the apex-player-cad fallacy going on to some extent because we do hear about a lot of guys who do want a gf of their own MMV (especially the 6′s, maybe even 7′s, and below) but are having some difficulty in finding one. I won’t opine on how many such guys there are except that they probably are not a majority but are also not insignificant.

Even from evo-psych women are going to be careful and hence gatekeepers about whom they commit to.

So, what is meant by saying that men are the gatekeepers to commitment? Is it really the men that women want to commit to them and are thus of equal or higher MMV than her and would thus have other equal or better options than her? I can believe this but then really it is women who are the initial gatekeepers by filtering out most men and then it could be the remaining men that she is interested in are the later-stage gatekeepers.

Any thoughts on this to clarify it would be appreciated.

Here are my thoughts:

When assigning men to the gatekeeper role regarding commitment, several assumptions are involved:

1. He has found a woman who wants a committed relationship with him.

2. He is selective and careful about to whom he becomes committed.

3. He understands Charisma and is fully prepared to use those skills within the committed relationship.

As the commenter correctly pointed out, there is some apex fallacy (link below) going on within this model and within Dating 2.0 (link below). Yet the fundamental truth does remain in that a man has the opportunity to refuse commitment just as the woman has the opportunity to refuse sex. There are certain men who will seek commitment prior to a woman’s emotional investment. These men are not commitment worthy because they lack a fundamental understanding of Dating 2.0 and how it works in the context with Charisma.

As more and more men learn the realities of Dating 2.0 and the power that has been given them, the apex fallacy becomes less of an issue. But as things stand now, the commenter is basically correct when he states that “…then really it is women who are the initial gatekeepers by filtering out most men and then it could be the remaining men that she is interested in are the later-stage gatekeepers.” In other words, women lament that “no guy I’m interested in is willing to commit.” this is because, like most other women, she’s only interested in the top 20% of men.

In the Red Pill world that is the Manosphere, it is assumed that men are the prize, always in the top 20% and therefore the immediate (not late-stage) gatekeepers to commitment.

Note: Susan Walsh and her blog, Hooking Up Smart, have caused no small amount of controversy amongst several Manosphere bloggers. I bow out of this controversy but still respect the reasons that some Manosphere bloggers have cut ties with Susan.

Hooking Up Smart

Apex Fallacy

Dating 2.0

Manosphere Blogging 101 – 21 Pieces Of Advice

There are many new, self-identified Manosphere bloggers cropping up ( some links below). I’m enthused by this. For all the new guys, I have some advice. I never thought that I’d be in the position to offer Manosphere blogging advice but after being at this for almost two years and with almost a million page views, I’ve learned a thing or two:

1. Blogging requires patience and perseverance. Blogging for a couple of months and being disappointed is normal. A few hundred (if you’re fortunate) page views a day is to be expected until readers realize the seriousness of the blog. There are few, if any, home runs with blogging. Writers should only expect singles and doubles as page view counts grow.

2. Writing is work. For those not accustomed to writing often, it’s a serious chore. Not only must a man live his life, he has to be introspective and be willing to write about it. It’s not easy. You have been warned. Writing is work.

3. Manosphere writers, for now, are but humble pamphleteers (link below) and not real movers and shakers when it comes to shifting public opinion. The good news is that pamphleteers have an historic precedent of shifting public opinion. It just takes time and a critical mass of readership.

4. Commenters are the life blood of good blogs. A good blogger acknowledges and supports good comments. It doesn’t have to be often but it’s important that it’s done.

5. Haters gonna hate. Got hate comments? Nuke ’em and ban ’em. It’s your blog. It’s your real estate. If haters want to shit on your blog, moderate heavily and use the banhammer relentlessly. Don’t engage trolls… ever.

6. Spammers gonna spam. It’s vital that you check your spam inbox for legitimate comments because sometimes good comments get spammed out. Don’t let the spam folder get too full.

7. In the beginning, post often. These means three posts a week, at a minimum. When your blog gets some traction, you can cut back a bit, but not too much.

8. Brevity is the soul of wit. Posts needn’t be long. Rollo and Ian (links below) are the huge exception as their posts are usually quite long. You can’t be the exception to the rule until you’re well established. Three hundred words or so (well-written and concise) will do.

9. Comment on other blogs with meaningful comments that add to the original point(s). Dropping a brief comment just to generate traffic to your blog won’t do you any favors in the long run. Read the post. If you don’t have anything to offer, don’t comment.

10. Link to other blogs via your blogroll or your comments on your post. The other Manosphere bloggers will appreciate the links and be more willing to the link back to you.

11. Try to meet Manosphere bloggers and readers in real life. The Internet is not real life. Shaking a fellow man’s hand is real life. For example, I’ve got a live event coming up in March, 2013 (link below).

12. Find your niche. This will take time and your commenters will steer you in the right (write?) direction. As the Manosphere stands now, there are almost too many young men writing. For you young guys, consider focusing on a geographical or lifestyle niche on which to focus your concentration. Or, go personal as Danny (link below) has done.

13. Don’t give up. Patience and perseverance, remember?

14. Be willing to be a contributing author to group Manosphere blogs (links below). This will build your credibility and drive traffic to your blog. If you find yourself only able to post irregularly on your own blog, be willing to give that up and only be a contributing author to group blogs.

15. Be patient. Keep at it.

16. Post on forums with a link to your blog in your signature. There are loads of male-oriented forums that are not relationship of socially-focused oriented. Find the “other” category in gun, motorsports, sports, and male-oriented forums where men often go. Build a reputation there. Be taken seriously… then send them to your blog or other Manosphere blogs.

17. You want to monetize your blog? That’s a whole new level requiring far more time and effort. Don’t be half-assed about it. Go big or go home.

18. Respect your blogging elders. Rollo, Roissy, and Roosh are the starting points (links below) but there are many other Manosphere bloggers worth your attention and input. Check out my blogroll for a starting point. I don’t have them all.

19. Read the Red Pill women’s blogs (some links below). These dames are smart and worthy of serious consideration. They are also signs that life isn’t too bleak for the Red Pill man.

20. Don’t post hateful comments on blue pill blogs and forums. Once branded a hater, you lose credibility and that helps to lose credibility for the general Manosphere.

21. Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs) are part of the Manosphere. So is the Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW) crowd. That statement will get me some hate and I say tough shit.

Good luck, gentlemen. We’re doing something big here. Spread this advice.

More new Manosphere blogs (Again, I’ve missed some. Commenters, add blogs as you want):

The Lucky Lothario



Free Northerner

Danny (A category unto himself)

Danny from 504

The Big Three

Rollo (The Rationale Male)


Roosh Blog

Roosh Forum (join it when enrollment is open)

Learn Your History!


Some Women’s Blogs

Adventures in Red Pill Wifery

Haley’s Halo

The Woman and the Dragon (It’s so weird that my Manosphere blog and conservative Christianity is tied together… still getting my head around that.)

Spring Break!

Yeah, we’re doing it.

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