About two years ago I posted about emotional pornography (link below). That’s the pornography of unrealistic romantic expectations. Women are the most vulnerable to it. As tonight was Oscar night, I got to witness the horrible spectacle of live twitter feeds making comments about winners, losers, and the sordid entertainment that is the Academy Awards. The Oscars are the AVN awards (link below – NSFW) of emotional pornography.
Granted, many of the films and people given that “honor” don’t delve into the romantic realm of fantasy movies. Regardless, Hollywood romantic comedies and the general adoration of Hollywood motion pictures reflects how such fantasies are accepted by which gender. The printed variation are romance novels and the now-burgeoning genre of “50 shades” writing.
As a person who reads many, many online dating profiles, I can easily see how emotional pornography is internalized as a romantic goal. Grown women are constantly stating their desire to find their “soul mate” or “knight in shining armor”. This is fantasy manifested by Hollywood and internalized by a naive audience. It’s emotional pornography and it’s held in high esteem by our culture. It’s also complete horseshit that leads to loneliness and relationship dissatisfaction. 50% divorce rate, anyone?
I also read men’s online dating profiles. I have yet to read “I hope to impress a woman by shooting webs from my wrists or smashing Frost Giants with my heroic hammer.” Adult women honestly desire soul mates but adult men know that superhero powers are the realm of fantasy. I see how this works.
I went on a twitter rampage (@man_private, link below) about the Oscars. Moxie (link below) gave me a tweetslap (new term!). I had rained on her Academy Awards parade because she was watching and live tweeting the event. I make no apologies for my snarky and copious attack on the Oscars. The romantic fiction element of the motion picture business completely ruins expectations regarding attraction, dating, and relationships.
Ironically, Moxie makes her living from such damaged expectations. I do acknowledge my own hypocrisy because I will also be earning income from such damaged dating expectations via my new endeavor (link below). I will use my new venue to constantly educate both men and women about the dangers of emotional pornography and unrealistic romantic expectations. Moxie does too and for this, I give her props.