The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

“Not interested in your car, boat, motorcycle…”

This is an actual headline in a woman’s online dating profile. This particular woman – from Plenty of Fish here in South Florida – has been doing online dating for several years. I know this because I checked my notes from 2012. I had indeed sent her a message and it was read and deleted. That’s fine, everyone has preferences regarding the opposite sex and I obviously didn’t match her preferences.

In her current profile, she states that she’s 50 years old. While her headline is rather negative, her text description is fairly generic. She states her music preferences and only uses one sentence stating her desires in a man. She never states what she offers to a potential paramour. At least she doesn’t have a list of requirements that are completely unrealistic. There is one line that stands out:

“…like me for my mind, not my body…play with my body, not my mind…”

Hmmm. Based on her profile headline and that particular line, it’s pretty easy to figure what has happened with her online dating experience since 2012.

1. She did indeed date a man (or men) with a fancy car, boat, and motorcycle. This is South Florida. Men with such fancy stuff can easily attract women because such stuff requires financial resources. These men promise a relationship but never make it happen. I’ve met many women over 45 here who complain bitterly about this.

2. After “dating” these type of guys and not reaching her relationship goals, she is attempting to push the dating pedumlum in another direction. She does state in her profile that she wants a long-term relationship. As well, she’s fairly attractive and her photos show it.

3. She’s still up for some sexual action: “play with my body, not my mind”. That’s cool, it’s her desire and it’s perfectly valid. She’s willing to sex up the affluent man and still commit to a man who doesn’t have quite the source of material things. Alpha fucks, beta bucks?

4. One of her interests is snow skiing. Living in South Florida, that means trips up north or out west. That takes some resources. She’s in “customer service” with “some college” so it’s clearly up to the man to fund such trips.

For men doing the online dating thing, it’s incredibly important to read between the lines. Please don’t simply look at photos and hope for the best. Read every word in the profile. Analyze those words carefully. The advantage of online dating is that the words are relatively permanent. Things get complicated when attending a live singles event where the words from women emerge quickly. Thankfully, actions speak louder than words.

I’m going to send her a message through Plenty of Fish. I will update as warranted. I won’t mention this blog post.

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3 thoughts on ““Not interested in your car, boat, motorcycle…”

  1. Older women aren’t as attached with social conditioning as younger women, that’s why she says things like “Play with my body, not my mind”. It’s cool to see a woman that admits what she wants.

  2. Richard Cranium on said:

    I think there’s a couple of things at play here. The whole “I don’t need your toys” comes off as a statement similar to “I’m sick of jerks and liars” in the fact that she’s dated/been involved/pumped and dumped by these guys (because they have options) and has been jaded to them. So that’s her way of pre-screening now. Nice boat/car=asshole jerk=don’t waste my time.

    Having said that she’s clearly into having money spent on her. Loves snow skiing but lives in South Florida. Same as every women that puts “loves to travel” in her bio. It’s her way of setting her SMV by how expensive a trip someone’s willing to take her on. On HIS dime of course.

    Another thing to take into account she’s been doing online dating for several years which would raise some red flags to me. She’s most likely encountered literally dozens of not hundreds of men which means she’s a super-picky special snowflake. Can’t find one or two out of all those to hold your interest? Me thinks the issue might be with you.

    Also at 50 she doesn’t see that her dating options are getting more limited by the day. You say she looks good. For her age. The vast majority of single well to do middle-aged men aren’t looking for 50 year olds to wine and dine. I know if I was well off I’d be much more into the 25 year old hottie rather than menopausal grandma. Try as they might they can’t fight biology and Father Time is a cruel mistress.

    • Johnny Doe on said:

      Excellent point. Although this lady talks a good game initially, here’s what is in her blurb:

      “I like to travel…cruises…weekend getaways…just need to find that genuine sincere guy that I am waiting to hear from….like me for my mind,not my body…play with my body,not my mind…”

      Fair enough, but if a strong and empowered woman of the equality era can’t scrape up more than a scrub job and a semester or two of college before throwing in the towel, then she offers me nothing at all in her case. Really. Her prime years were with another guy she made memories (for better or worse) with and now she wants to be spoiled like a 50-year old child! I’d like to give her credit for being able to ” stay in shape by eating healthy and working out”, but it’s not like she has any other time consuming tasks going in life as an empty nester, so no bonus points there. She should be doing that.

      Granted, I’m 35, so if I was using OLD, I wouldn’t have my age setting set outside of 18-28, if that high. That aside, in the real world, I can do some side work at some local movie theaters and have high school senior chicks who enjoy my company and know I’m twice their age and are a hoot to socialize with. Why would I give any woman near my age who’s dedicated to either being a wage slave or milking me for what I am worth the time of day?

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