The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “February 17, 2015”

Guys, Don’t Be A Blowhard

I’m often in public company, whether just walking in the village, attending a social event, or having a cold beverage at one of the several outdoor places here in the village. I like to listen to people have conversation and watch the social interactions amongst a generally middle-aged crowd.  For the most part, people are happy and civil. However, there’s always an exception. It’s the voice of the blowhard: (From Merriam-Webster)

a person who talks too much and who has strong opinions that other people dislike

In my part of the world, there is inevitably a guy over 45 with right-of-center political views. Given any opportunity he will make a loud, ill-informed (always) statement. It’s so loud and so ill-informed that he only serves to embarrass himself. It’s not attractive. Imagine a blowhard at a singles event. He’s offputting. He harshes the mellow. He is borderline offensive.

It’s OK to be an online blowhard. Hell, I’ve been accused of that enough times. But real life is a very different matter.  What happens online is not real life.

The blowhard lacks emotional self-control, a trait in men that is equally nasty as the same in women. I recognize the blowhard because I have to be careful not to be one. When I’m in public – and, shudder, on dates – I tend to talk too much about Red Pill ideas. Such notions sometimes don’t go over well and it takes a lot of my psychic energy to select my words very, very carefully. Men should always be careful about how they speak.

Being a blowhard is also related to being ready for dating. If a guy is compelled to talk about an ex on a first date, he’s not ready for dating. Likewise, if he feels compelled to talk about his political ideology on a first date, he’s not ready for dating. If a man can talk about something that encompasses different points of view, that means he’s intelligent and thoughtful about a particular subject. That’s very attractive to women. Intelligence is a turn-on.

I understand that making authoritative statements can make a woman swoon. But the massive caveat is that those statements must be about something she can relate to, not something that she has no interest in. As well, the know-it-all who loudly interjects a verbal opinion is not a confident maneuver. It’s an obnoxious maneuver.

There are too many guys that I would like to smack upside the head for being blowhards. But I won’t. I’ll focus on how I deliver my own opinions, not on the failures of how other men deliver theirs.

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