The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “February 13, 2015”

About A Woman’s Online Dating Profile Photos

Guys, when a woman posts her online dating profile photos, be keenly aware of the context of those photos. Too often, men focus on just the woman in the photo. That’s perfectly natural. It’s important that men look at the context of those photos. Perhaps it’s a girls night out. Perhaps it’s a cropped photo (cropping out the previous man) at a social event. Often, it’s a photo of her in an environment she is used to or one she aspires to again based on her past.

Watch out for a woman in a glamorous context or in an adventuresome exotic context. Here’s the breakdown:

  • The Glamorous Context – She’s wearing a sexy going-out dress and she’s posed in front of a fancy place or at a fancy social event. If that’s what you’re into, perfect. But if you’re not into such things, be careful because the photos are telling you what she expects or what she wants. Here in South Florida, that includes photos of her while she’s reclining in the back of a large pleasure boat. The swimsuit looks grand. The boat is grand also. She’s got a friend or former lover who supplies that fancy boat. She won’t accept less in the future because of hypergamy and bragging rights to her friends.

Here’s an example. Note the yacht in the background. I think the single one is on the right…wait on the left. Damn, I don’t know. But she’s 53 with kids over 18. Yeah, she’s the one of the left. I think.


  • The Adventuresome Context – This is the photo of her with the backdrop of Machu Picchu, the Grand Canyon, or zip-lining through the jungle. Again, if you’re into such things, perfect. This comes to expectations again. She will expect the same kinds of adventures with you in the future. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that unless you’re a guy who isn’t into that. There is also the issue of who supports those adventures. Perhaps the previous boyfriend or husband ponied up the dough. Maybe she had the resources to do it. No matter, if she’s got a new man, the expectation is that he pays for a lot of the future adventures. That’s especially true of warm climate women showing photos of herself snow skiing, an alarmingly expensive activity.

If you’re an ordinary, middle-aged fellow worrying about a job, child support, a mortgage, and the rest of life’s ordinary complications, be very attuned to a woman’s glamorous or adventuresome photos. She’s telling you with actions what her relationship expectations are. The best photos are of her at home, with pets, or with family. This how life works. Most women aren’t at fancy events or prowling the world looking for adventure.
Most women – and men – are dealing with the mundane realities of living day-to-day. Those realities are generally neither glamorous nor adventuresome. They are real and equally respectable. I’m reminded of my brother who raised two daughters by himself.

I understand the dilemma women face when posting up online dating profile photos. Being at a fancy event or doing something adventuresome invites a photo op. She’s proud of such things, much like a man holding up a fish he’s just caught (that’s a South Florida thing). Men and women are different so they each have different definitions of accomplishment and the photos that go along with it. Women have photos of themselves at a gala fundraiser, men have photos of themselves holding a fish. It’s the exact same thing, an accomplishment for each sex.

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