The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “February 1, 2015”

I Can Write About It Now…

I made a promise. Now, I am no longer held to that promise.

She was a vivacious and alluring woman. I thought I was in love. That passed quickly because I know that actions speak much louder than words. Her actions made it clear. Worse, her lack of words backed it up. It was a crash and burn that I predicted about 48 hours before I took it down. We both dodged a bullet, each other. Three months is a good time frame to understand attraction, compatibility, and future potential for a person you’re involved with.

It was my ability to intuit the situation that made me make this decision. I recently tweeted about it:

“The instant she pulls back is the instant he moves on.”

This is serious stuff for guys looking to get their relationship goals met. Never invest more than she does. If you do, you run a serious emotional risk. Frankly, I made that mistake in this case. My error is an opportunity for you guys to learn. There are clear signs of a woman’s pull-back:

  • Fewer texts or phone calls
  • Diminished physical affection
  • Diminished verbal affection
  • Less availability on her part

These might seem obvious to an outsider but when a man is too much into the forest, he can’t see the emotional lumberjacks sawing away at the trees.

I was close to having a tree fall on my head.  This does not make me cynical. I still believe in love. But this experience does make me yet more cautious and circumspect about women.

For post-divorce guys, the bottom line is this: Bail first, bail often.

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