One of the biggest challenges facing post-divorce men is conversational ability. This is the result of social stagnation due to marriage and the general unwillingness of the men to go out into the world and be social. I’ve written about it so much that I won’t even both linking to previous posts.
While going back and forth on a motorcycle forum, I was reminded of the effectiveness of agree and amplify concept. It also reminded of an conversation I had with a rather toughened dame at my local pub who was not real friendly with me. Actually, she hated my guts. You can’t win them all. Every now and again, she wanted to rip me a new asshole. I was always prepared because of the agree and amplify concept.
Her (from across the bar and yelling): You don’t feed your dog enough! [any excuse to insult me]… you’re a scumbag!
Me: You’re right! [Agree] I come from a family of scumbags! But my great grandfather was a total douchebag! [Amplify]
]At that point, the entire bar erupted into laughter and the leather-faced lady immediately shut up and scowled. I smirked obsequiously. My ugly dog – allowed into that place – didn’t react. Damned dog.
The concept stands. Being defensive is a terrible way to response to an insult, even a teasing one, not matter what delivered from either sex. This applies to so much in life. Confidence is a way to accept yourself, regardless of character flaws. This is the essence of agree and amplify.
The trick is in the delivery. To be successful with agree and amplify, it must be delivered with a smirk and a strong sense of self-worth. But the problem is that too many men react horribly to even the most mild criticism from women. They get too defensive, they take it too personally. The person delivering that criticism is human, just the like man. This is not a deity imparting divine wisdom. This is a pissed-off (or shit-testing) dame making the delivery. Don’t take it too seriously.
I’ve been using agree and amplify for about five years. It’s completely re-shaped how I deal with dames. It’s also helped with situations with men. But, the concept remains regardless of who I’m dealing with.
I was recently perusing the ADVRider.com forum where an online buddy was talking about having a stupid phone. At first, I needled him about not having smart phone. But I quickly realized that he could use the agree and amplify concept to his advantage regarding his adoption of ancient technology:
If you’re going to stand by your flip-phone, own it!
There is a PUA concept called “agree and amplify”. It’s astoundingly effective.
Here are some examples of how your flip phone can work for you:
Her: “You have a flip phone?! Grow up!” (or words to that effect)
You: “Damned right, and my phone at home is a rotary one.”
You: ” You should see my TV, it’s black and white!”
You: “Do you know morse code? We can do this thing called texting”
But these lines must be delivered with supreme confidence and a smirking attitude like you’re treating the girl like a bratty little sister.
The problem with having a dumb phone is not necessarily the image, it’s the functions of the smart phone regarding communications.
With confidence, you can own most every tech decision you made. If you dismiss the dames because of their response to your tech decision(s), you’re not playing it right.
Agree and amplify might seem simplistic, but it takes some serious confidence for a man to delivery it effectively. It’s the smirk and devil -may-care attitude to make it really work. That’s a variation of outcome independence. To my readers, I highly recommend it. Early failures might be the result. No matter, with enough practice, the result will be increased confidence and charisma.