A recent and soon-to-be legendary post from Rollo over at the Rational Male blog (link below) described how a young woman was frustrated that men just don’t “get it”. She was upset that men don’t understand how to deal with women. Translated – women want to be dominated but can’t tell men to do this because it’s so politically incorrect and because of this impossible dilemma:
If a woman has to tell you she wants you to be dominant – and you do it – you are still doing what you are told which automatically means that you are not dominant and that you don’t “get it”.
I call this Solomon’s Dominance Dilemma because he’s the Rollo commenter who stated it. I added a couple of points.
This leads to a man’s frustration with women. Consider this quote from that same blog post:
If she’d just tell me what I have to do to make her love me, I’d do it!
When I was married, I remember actually saying almost those exact words in a rage of frustration and confusion.
She can’t tell you for two reasons:
1. She doesn’t understand her need to be dominated.
2. See Solomon’s Dominance Dilemma, above.
So why is it that men don’t “get it”? Here’s the chronology to the masculine fail:
1. A man is born into this world and into a female dominated household. His mother is either single or is the dominant adult in the family.
2. His formative years are spent trying to appease mother and his always-female teachers. Masculine dominance is viewed by a feminized society as dangerous so through propaganda and/or drugs, the young fellow is controlled and forced into non-masculine behaviors and characteristics. There are no strong male figures in his life to balance this.
3. Puberty hits, he treats the girls around him just as he treated his mother and his female teachers. He subordinates himself to them. There are still no strong male figures in his life to instruct him in the ways of girls.
4. His adult sexual and romantic life is frustrating, confusing, and completely unfulfilled. Of course, if he discovers the Manosphere, he might learn the truth about women and turn things around.
With so many guys not understanding that women want to be dominated, is it any wonder why 50 Shades of Gray is currently the most widely read book in the English language? Of course, women won’t say in words they want to be dominated, their collective sexual arousal over the scenes in that book are their actions showing their desire to be dominated.
What’s this? Actions over words? lulz.
Standard disclaimer – being dominant is not being domineering. Those are different things entirely. If you don’t know the difference, read every post in my blog, twice.
But here’s the ultimate frustration: the level of dominance that a woman requires constantly changes and too many men don’t have the ability to gauge that level.