The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

That Visceral Reaction – How Predictable

“Well, they’re losers then!”

This remark was the result of a heated conversation with an older woman about what I do in this blog. I was describing how post-divorce men needed help with attraction and dating. Her reaction was typical. Woman loathe the idea of a man teaching and advising other men to be more attractive to women, to improve themselves in general.

The strong conversation continued. I loathe with all my energy when a woman insults a man merely because he’s trying to learn and improve himself. Do women expect men to just “get it?” Yes, they do expect that and they expect it to come naturally to men without any outside assistance. The PUA community catches a raft of shit for exactly this. The accusations that such information teaches tricks and manipulation. Such skills are neither tricks nor manipulation. They are perfectly reasonable social skills for a man to use when dealing with the vastly predictable behavior of the opposite sex.

“They’re not losers, they are men who got divorced and need help getting back into dating.” I was firm in my stand. I stopped long ago rolling over in matters that I’m passionate about. I am also profoundly suspicious about any woman who offers her opinions on men trying to re-enter the difficult world of post-divorce dating. I have a standard response that usually makes a woman’s hackles rise.

“You’re not a man and you don’t date women, you really don’t know” I told her firmly.

This is absolutely true. Women have no empathy for the masculine experience, especially if it involves adversity. Women simply don’t care about men as a group. Men have to rally around the positive elements fo the masculine imperative. My response flummoxed the woman so she changed tactics with a very predictable response.

“Why are you qualified?!”

I gave my standard response that I do research, I observe, and I have experience. According to this woman, I had to have a PhD of some sort just to give out attraction and dating advice. Perhaps a degree in physics would be OK? Why should I need some letters after my name to provide information about the predictable nature of human beings?

At this point in the conversation, the woman was furious. She tossed out some insults towards me, things I’ve heard countless times and simple don’t affect me.

“You’re a con man!” she hollered at me as I walked away.

Ah, that anger simply told me that I was right. This is something every man must realize: When a woman is angry at what you say, it means you are correct in your logical assertion. I don’t relish making anyone angry yet it sometimes happens because of my confidence in the truth of information I provide to post-divorce singles looking to meet relationship goals.

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24 thoughts on “That Visceral Reaction – How Predictable

  1. Pingback: That Visceral Reaction – How Predictable |

  2. feeriker on said:

    Such skills are neither tricks nor manipulation. They are perfectly reasonable social skills for a man to use when dealing with the vastly predictable behavior of the opposite sex.

    The bolded part is, of course, what sends them into a flying rage. The visceral awareness, one that they are incapable of ever consciously admitting, that they are shallow, one-dimensional, utterly and completely predictable creatures. Once men realize this, as ever-growing numbers of us have, then it’s game over for the prmacy of the feminine imperative and the long-unchallenged power of sexual manipulation. It’s akin to the man behind the curtain being exposed.

  3. Pre-divorce men also need help. Even naturals need help! Gasp!

  4. GattoGrigio on said:

    OK, I am plagiarizing this but it’s so appropriate I just have to:

    Arguing with a Strong Independent Woman is like playing chess with a pigeon.

    If you make a good chess move (i.e. make a valid point in an argument), the pigeon will respond by:
    (a) Kicking over all the pieces.
    (b) Shitting on the board
    (c) Strutting around the table like it just won the game.

    • GeminiXcX on said:

      d) Or fly away, and return with an army of her fellow pigeons, as they do “a” and “b” to your reputation, then collectively engage in “c”. . . causing chaos for you in what otherwise could have been a productive day.


  5. I can’t speak for the woman in question. Perhaps she really is prickly and thin skinned. However, I have seen women commenting in the sphere being told that they’re anti red pill or against men;s self improvement, when it’s the contempt that they object to.

    Try to imagine, for a moment , a bunch of female blogs linked together promoting gold digging. Contempt is high, most of the women are angry for having been burned by a man or men at some point in their life. Dehumanizing terms like chump, mark or bill receptical are tossed about. Red pill psychology is used to further the female imperative on steroids. Much is discussed on self improvement in all areas of life, and how to get what they want. Cluster b traits are encouraged. Vulnerabilities where male shame and validation needs are openly mocked and exploited. Their advice is sold to gold diggers, women entering the dating market at all ages, as well as married women.

    When you respond with disgust or genuine disagreement, they flounce away telling you that you’re anti red pill, or against women improving themselves.

    • Ah, there are a lot of sites like that for women about manipulating men, have been since before the manosphere as we know it existed…I ran into the behavoir mentioned in the article yesterday. All I did was post a link on Facebook and make a simple comment regarding Jessica Valentie’s article about not being “Cat Called” now she’d 36 and missing the male attention and feeling bad about it.

      The comment I made was that yes that’s been a common theme I’d heard from a number of professional women I knew in that age range and one mentioned in several articles this past year by female columnists, broadcasters and even noted Feminists like Jessica Valentie. Her response was anger, she accused me of being a knuckle dragger and a Mysogynist. After I pointed out that made no sense because the article was written by a well known Feminist and not some MRA/MGTOW, type she blocked me on Facebook .

  6. I might add that a lot of women realize that “The Pretty” is largely what they bring to the table, the idea of men learning how to see past that main weapon scares the hell out of them.

    • Not really. Women have a love hate relationship with beauty . You see something similar with players who like the power of charisma but resent having to resort to it . ( And disdain the women who respond to it.)

      • Well sort of, they hate other women prettier/thinner than themselves…In terms of players, the same would apply to most Red Pill guys, even if they are not much of a player.

  7. I hear over and over from the ladies 25 to 40 that they pretty much have zero respect for men. They are bored with the beta-chumps – seriously bored, and although they resent the alpha males they encounter they can’t help but feel attracted to them. Most of the time those are the complete jerks and really just don’t care about them at all. Pump and dump, over and over. The poor girls are simply controlled and dominated by their own biology without even realizing it.

    I have mentioned to many of them that they should seek out a strong man, and formulate for themselves what exactly they are bringing to the relationship besides their looks and vagina. You can see the wheels turning when they hear this. Perhaps it’s just never occurred to them I guess.

    But seriously, the majority of the men are pretty pathetic. They’ve been fed a line of complete BS on how to interact with and how to treat a woman, from the time they are juveniles – from their parents, their teachers, their clergy, their television entertainment. They really are ill-equipped to understand what these women need, particularly the strong ones.

    Ah well, the ol’ lady of the story is a typical smug know it all, with a latent disgust for men in general. I can imagine a lifetime of dealing with undependable whiny men has pretty much ruined their image of the other gender.

    Men really do need to hear the truth of the Red Pill. Until they do they really just walk around in a fog.

    • Chris, I’m not sure what you mean by “pump & dump”. PUAs don’t usually aim to pump & dump a woman. You might read my post about the myth of the one night stand. Men don’t typically seek one night stands. Not enough payback for resource expenditure. Not enough sexual frequency.

      • GeminiXcX on said:


        The fact that you need to expend so much resources first, is proof you’re doing something wrong.



      • I was thinking primarily of time expenditure to build attraction and comfort. Seven hours from approach to lay. P&D is not a good plan, though it may be necessary occasionally.

    • Also, we shouldn’t necessarily believe female reports ex post facto about alphas being complete jerks. Those same women will say that those alphas are “nice and thoughtful” while they are receiving alpha attention. Let’s suppose that the alpha decides to terminate the relationship because the woman wants exclusive attention or because the woman starts seeing someone else. At that point the alpha becomes a “complete jerk”. It’s all ex post facto hamsterization.

      Or let’s suppose that a married woman starts withholding sex from her husband. (Shock! Women never do that! Heh) He then starts looking for action outside of marriage. (No fair! He’s cheating! No, it doesn’t matter that I’m withholding sex. That isn’t cheating!) All of a sudden the “cheating” husband gets all the blame and the withholding wife gets no blame. The “cheating” husband is the “complete jerk”. Actually, withholding sex is cheating on vows just as much as (if not more than) seeking sex outside the marriage.

      Do you see how the Red Pill needs to be swallowed completely?

      • GeminiXcX on said:

        Actually, withholding sex is cheating on vows just as much as (if not more than) seeking sex outside the marriage.

        I just gave you a five-star for that.


      • The comment section went batshit on this blog once when I suggested the same thing, If monogamy is defined as sexual exclusivity between two people, then can you have monogamy if there’s no sex? Though, that was from the female perspective.

    • Chris, I see the younger men not holding their boundaries. Woman piss down their necks and they just take it. A woman flaked on a man and he continued to give her attention.

      If a woman flakes on me, she gets the cold shoulder until she makes it right–which includes providing resources like good bourbon or a steak. If she is in my social circle, I’ll suggest to her that she needs to do something rather than immediately give her the cold shoulder.

      One woman flaked on me, then lied about why she flaked (not surprising), then pushed back when I wanted to meet to discuss it in person, so I’ve been giving her the cold shoulder and will continue to do so. She has been seeking my attention in numerous ways. The longer it goes, the less I want to have anything to do with her and the more she’ll have to invest to get my attention.

      Another woman flaked because she didn’t have my phone no. and had to work late, which she often has to do, so I accepted her apology readily.

  8. GeminiXcX on said:

    However, I have seen women commenting in the sphere being told that they’re anti red pill or against men;s self improvement, when it’s the contempt that they object to.

    Try to imagine, for a moment , a bunch of female blogs linked together promoting gold digging. Contempt is high, most of the women are angry for having been burned by a man or men at some point in their life.

    Too bad. The female of the species determines the behavior of the males that wish to mate. Men ask out; women do the accepting, or the rejecting.

    1) Stop choosing bad men.
    2) Stop treating good men like crap.


  9. GeminiXcX on said:

    I roll my eyes when I read comments from females and white-knight fools who emphasize how much they hate pickup artists. I interject by simply asking why they feel thay way. Common answers:

    -They use women.
    -They’re manipulators.
    -They’re misogynists.

    The only reason people hate PUAs, is because their stuff works. And if their tactics work, then that tells you something about the (defective) personalities of the women who respond to those tactics.


  10. Colonel Trautman on said:

    It extends to other aspects of self-improvement.


    If you dress yourself well and try to improve how you feel, you will often get eye rolls. Rev up the gossip machine! He’s wearing a blazer and tie. That’s not a disappointing slob so he must be a fag.

    It’s the same mechanism for reading. If you are a reader then you will also be seen as some kind of unmasculine primster. If you are a cafe, goateed lefty in an exotic Peruvian pancho or something, then it’s okay to be a reader. But if Richie Cunningham types try to start educating themselves, it will not be respected.

    It is very important that most men be labeled as ‘disappointing’ in order to keep feminism fueled. A nation full of well-dressed, literate men who behave doesn’t fit the narrative at all. Feminists need football watching, beer drinking slobs to drive their narrative. They get very upset when the narrative is threatened.

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