The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

The “Boris Flight Simulator”

Hanging out with my readers in real life is always great fun because my readers are a clever bunch. I wish there were more local readers. But there are three or four who are great guys and have been helpful to them and I do hope that my blog has been helpful to them.

I was hanging out with my reader and friend, Boris, the other day. We were discussing life, work, and our approach to being social, especially in regards to women. Boris is relatively young (to me) and a white-collar professional with a good gig. He also has some serious ambition because in addition to his full-time job, he’s seriously in school to advance his degree. He takes his school work seriously.

To unwind, Boris sometimes visits strip clubs. As he is a clever and thoughtful fellow, he knows the score regarding how strip clubs and strippers operate. Of delusions about such establishments, he has none. When he attends a club like that, he has a particular goal in mind. No, it’s not to meet and date the dancers. Strippers are not good girlfriend material, he knows this. So why does he do this? Here are his brilliant words.

“A strip club is my flight simulator”.

The analogy is perfect. Before pilots actually take to the air with an aircraft, they often safely train in a technological simulator that represents an airplane flight with a virtual experience through sophisticated technology.

Though a strip club is not usually associated with sophisticated technology, it can be seen as a way for men to, in effect, practice their charisma with the opposite sex and not have to worry about the outcome. Such practice can help a man with his social skills and charisma with girls with no emotional crash and burn should the “flight” go awry and come to naught. It’s important to know that Boris considers a phone number as the mark of success for being in the simulator.

There are, of course, some caveats apply. Strippers are going to be receptive to a man’s interest. This is their job because table dances and stage tips are how they earn their keep. With this in mind, Boris escalates by going for a phone number. Keep in mind that good strippers are not only good on the pole (hehehe) they are also good marketers and will give out a phone number so that she can cultivate a group of free-spending guys.

What Boris does to counteract the girl’s marketing efforts is to be a modest spender and use his charisma to secure a phone number. This element is the essence of his flight simulator analogy. Strippers, like the vast majority of women, are after some type of security. But an exotic dancer in a strip club doesn’t have the luxury of a dating ritual to pursue. The dancer only has enough time as she can garner from a man’s attention in one shift. His attention is great because she wants to transform it into cash money.

Because Boris isn’t the hugely free-spending customer, he has to rely on his charisma and confidence to charm a phone number from a woman who has to rely on her physical assets and flirty charm to secure a table dance from him. This is somewhat similar to the whole dating and attraction model outside the doors of the gentlemen’s club.

One other point for guys considering the “Boris Flight Simulator”, don’t drink too much while at the club! Not only is it expensive, the alcohol can lead to some bad decisions including a costly visit to the champagne/VIP room. This puts the guy in the big spender category which completely ruins the flight simulator analogy.

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2 thoughts on “The “Boris Flight Simulator”

  1. Great analogy! I may have to take this for a test flight.

  2. Many thanks for your sharing your observations;}
    I totally enjoy the expressive style of your blog & find myself,
    occasionally inspired to respond to certain ideas that you’ve introduced.
    *
    Some expanded thoughts & musings on the idea of “The Boris Simulator” …
    *
    A central issue & cause of major distress that I’ve experienced & observed in myself & in others is the misconceptions in context & in contrast to the reality of a cyberspace connection. Specifically I am referencing cyberspace encounters in which there has been little to no shared real time…
    Relationships in which all personal connection exists only in cyberspace-[a simulated environment] that is defined, limited by, & dependent upon by some sort of technology. At very most, all that cyberspace connection can ever be[at the present point in time] is a severely restricted kind of “Simulation” interpersonal exchange.
    *
    “The analogy is perfect. Before pilots actually take to the air with an aircraft, they often safely train in a technological simulator that represents an airplane flight with a virtual experience through sophisticated technology.”
    *
    In terms of personal online connections; the software & hardware[computer,ect] function as a kind of “Relationship[i.e.-Flight] Simulator”.
    *[Actually it’s more than likely that a high quality “Flight Simulator” will avail the user of a broader base of understanding flight technique[s] than the hardware used by most individuals in terms of actually learning & understanding the authenticity of another human presence encountered in cyberspace].
    In cyberspace encounters, there is a high potential for one or both individuals to incorrectly define the parameters of their connection based upon the extremely limited scope of information exchange & boundaries inherent to all simulated environments & experience. Liken this situation to the “inexperienced aviator” who after logging-in, hundreds[thousands] of hours on a “Flight-Simulator” assumes that he/she is qualified & has the expertise to actually captain an actual aircraft ! The encounter becomes even more problematic & confusing when the deluded pilot & misguided passenger feel qualified & entitled to expect the same result that is only provided by the sharing of actual & real time experience .
    *
    In the understanding & agreement that any manner of “simulation” is only capable of providing incomplete & limited information; consider how the human brain might respond or perceive the cyberspace simulation. Gestalt theory proposes that the human mind has an innate disposition to perceive patterns in the stimulus based on certain rules or principles. The principle of “Closure” refers to the mind’s tendency to see complete figures or forms even if a picture is incomplete, partially hidden by other objects, or if part of the information needed to make a complete picture in our minds is missing. The incomplete cyberspace encounter with another individual lends itself as a perfect opportunity to craft, model, & stylize our own self-serving fairy tale versions of The Ideal[Soul Mate]. Seduced & elated by the thought of finally finding,”Mr.Right or Ms.Right” justifies all the considerable time, resources, & personal effort that are required for such a important task.
    Although I don’t feel that filling-in the missing information with the wonderful qualities of someone who we hope to encounter is a “Bad/Destructive” thing; based upon the cyberspace experience-“Actually Believing” that we really have our “True Soul Mate” can be a potentially harmful & destructive delusion.
    *
    Perhaps the only positive ,authentic realization that should be or can be concluded from any & all cyberspace simulated encounters” is that there may be enough information exchanged to believe in the “POTENTIAL” of a real time connection.

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