The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “September 5, 2015”

PUA? No, It’s Now MSI

My friend, Boris, is a typical guy looking for some answers about life, love, and coping with the world in a healthier and more realistic manner. Naturally, he was drawn to the Manosphere because this is one of the few places where the unvarnished truths about life are discussed. Boris mentioned the problem of where to begin. As Boris said, “there is no ‘start here’ Manosphere/Red Pill web page”. He’s right and I’m going to take a stab at it in a later blog post.

While taking some notes on an introduction to the Manosphere, I quickly discovered that there is a nomenclature problem that I will cover later but first I must describe the basics elements of the Manosphere. There are three basic divisions within the ‘Sphere:

1. MRAs – “Mens Rights Activists”. These are the cultural and political soldiers who call attention to the often egregious inequalities in our current legal and social system. If you’re looking for true equality between the sexes, these are the people with whom to align and support. This group also gets the most mainstream media coverage, usually by lazy or ideological-driven “journalists”.

2. MGTOWs – “Men Going Their Own Way” (It’s pronounced “Mig-Tao”) Welcome to the group of men who reject most of the social expectations foisted on the male sex. These are the expectations of self-sacrifice, following the approved life script that insists on cow towing to the feminine imperative, and being cultural cannon fodder for a socio-economic system that views men as completely expendable or simply invisible. MGTOWs ain’t havin’ any of that crap.

3. PUAs – “Pick Up Artists”. Want to learn how women think and act in the context of attraction and seduction? This group of men (and women!) are the part of the Manosphere that has a deep and truthful understanding of the minds of women. Sometimes it’s not pretty to read or watch because PUAs know that women are fundamentally predictable when it comes to the attraction patterns they have for men.

For all the lazy and ideological-driven journalists out there, these three groups have distinct and very different world views. In fact, these three groups are sometimes in conflict despite all being part of the same loose collection of blogs and websites that present and discuss issues related specifically to the male sex. To see the Manosphere as a monolithic cultural entity to play fast, loose, and stupid with the easily-researched facts.

Circling back, it’s the designation of “PUA” that is causing me the linguistic grief. The term is simply too old-fashioned now. A few years back, the PUA “movement” was quite the thing. Does anyone remember “The Pickup Artist” on VH1? Consider that the heyday of public awareness of PUA, for better and worse.

PUA is still with us in the form of “dating” coaches who sell boot camps and online classes. Their marketing messages are often ridiculous. “Watch this video and get laid tonight!” That sort of thing. Eh, it’s business. But few of these capitalistic refer to themselves as pickup artists. That term is quietly fading away because it has a negative connotation and it doesn’t begin to cover the very large field of men improving themselves.

So, in keeping with the recent them of coining new linguistic terms (here, here, and here), I propose that PUA be retired completely and a new term be used in lieu of that. The core ethos of being a more attractive man is Masculine Self Improvement, or MSI. There is so much that goes into MSI – physical appearance, charisma, social skills, confidence, and more. Also, MSI is NOT just being more attractive to the opposite sex. In fact, just being more attractive to women is the completely wrong approach. Men must look at self-improvement as a, frankly, very selfish approach to life. There’s not a thing wrong with that.

With a new bit of Manosphere nomenclature, it will become easier for me to a write a “start here” blog post or completely new blog page. For that page, I won’t be covering the MRA and MGTOW divisions of the ‘Sphere because I’m neither of those but I will be linking to websites that go into more detail.

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