The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “August 21, 2015”

New Dating Term – “Twigging”

One of my favorite online activities is to find new words and new concepts that apply to attraction and dating. I surf a lot of websites, forums, and blogs. I also closely follow my Twitter feed so I can retweet valuable stuff. I regularly check out a private area in a motorcycle forum. It’s a discussion thread about Red Pill topics, particularly how men and women relate to each other in the context of attraction, dating, and relationships.

The guys in that motorcycle forum are a very clever bunch and their observations are often perceptive and hilarious. One fellow coined a new term that I think is incredibly apropos to the beginning of the dating process ‘twixt a man and a woman. Here’s the relevant quote directly from that forum:

In 2013, I had a gal who I saw a lot, great sex, she wasn’t funny but pleasant to be around, very affectionate. She began “twigging”. Putting stuff of hers in my place to build a nest. I saw it, asked her once, “Why are these slippers here?” She would answer to have them when she was over.

It is said that a woman has a nesting instinct wired into her DNA. I agree with this. The verb “twigging” in this context is absolutely perfect. I’ve experienced it. I’ve talked to many men who’ve experienced it. When a woman starts getting attached and spends more and more time at a guy’s place, that nesting instinct starts to take hold and twigging commences.

Twigging is neither a good thing nor a bad thing. The word simply describes something completely natural in a woman’s behavior. If a man’s relationship goal includes such an attachment, he can happily facilitate a woman’s nesting behavior by offering a bureau drawer for her stuff. However, bathroom issues might get tricky as women have so much bathroom stuff that the laws of physics might get violated. Ever seen a woman’s purse? There’s a rift in the time-space continuum that allows her to put more stuff in there than the purse can actually hold. The same applies to the lotions, potions, and sundry skin and sundry hygiene material required in the bathroom by the double-X chromosome crowd.

For the man whose relationship goal does not include such attachments, twigging is not something to encourage. Even her humble hairbrush is a difficult logistical entanglement when it’s parked in the medicine cabinet or displayed prominently next to the sink. If the guy is dating more than one woman, another woman’s twigging at his place is also about marking her territory. It’s a form of “mate guarding”, whether he likes it or not. The woman is looking to ensure that other woman know that he’s somehow taken, even if she isn’t around.

This mate-guarding situation requires a man be firm and unyielding about nesting and willing to risk the distinct possibility that the woman won’t be paying a visit to his place any more. The classic PUA tactic is to never have a woman at your place. For the middle-age crowd, this is not always doable. A man being firm (hehe) is not a bad thing because it helps him establish a confident frame during the dating process. Such confidence – as is repeated consistently – is something women find attractive.

On a positive note, twigging can be the first part of the stayover relationship and quite healthy if the man and woman agree mutually to such an arrangement. In this scenario, he can leave stuff at her place. For a man, however, this is not nesting in the feminine, it’s a matter of convenience and efficiency.

Twigging can reach some rather impressive heights if allowed or desired. I’ve had a woman completely re-arrange my apartment while I was out for a couple of hours. At the time, I was flattered that she took such an interest in my place. Of course, at the time, I was unaware that she was twigging on a grand scale. As well, any attractive woman who gave me attention at that time in my life was a woman to whom I became instantly smitten. Yes, I didn’t know crap about women or myself back then, about 10 years ago.

From that very same motorcycle forum comes this hilarious anecdote that illustrates just how far twigging can go:

I came home one day to find my NOT-live-in girlfriend redecorating MY home.
“Ah…Roberta…Don’t DO That.”
“Look, I can appreciate you wanting to ‘Play House’ but hot glue-gunning pretty stones to the light switch covers and such just doesn’t work for me.”

Do note that I did Tweet a variation of this tale but the full quote from that forum fleshes things out better. The overall point is that finding a term to accurately and cleverly describe consistent human behavior vis-a-vis how women behave is an efficient use of our language. It’s my hope that “twigging” enters the common attraction and dating vernacular.

I don’t mind you coming over every now and then, but please don’t be twigging.

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