[I posted this just over three years ago. It needs to go viral.]
A fair number of women read my blog and for this, I am pleased. Normally, I write my posts with a male audience in mind. This post is an exception. I want women to read this very carefully and pass it along to their single friends. It’s important.
The biggest challenge is for women to re-adjust their approach to men. Women usually look for reasons to reject a man. They find the bad things first. This results in a lot of frustrated single women. To start the readjustment, I have this very simple mental exercise:
Every time you see and/or interact with a man, look for something good about him. This includes online dating profiles.
It can be something small.
It can be something big.
It has to be something.
Perhaps you see a sweaty landscaper with stained clothes working hard at his job. What’s good about him? He’s working hard. That’s a very good thing.
Maybe you have a male colleague who is not the most attractive of physical specimens. But you notice that he has a very nice voice and speaks very thoughtfully. Those are two good things.
You meet a man socially who has a very weak chin and terrible fashion sense. Yet you see that he has beautiful eyes, broad shoulders, and a great sense of humor. Wow, three good things!
You see an online dating profile with bad photos. The words, however, are well put together and are quite appealing. Good things, indeed.
This doesn’t mean changing your standards regarding the men you date. It only means noticing the positive elements in men. That’s the exercise. Simple, no?
Do this for a week. After the week passes, ask yourself this question: “Where are all the good men?”
Guess what, you just spent a week seeing them with your own eyes.
Feel free to copy and paste this into emails, blogs, forums, whatever.
This post is a quick one.
I haven’t stopped online dating. In fact, I’ve upgraded my membership to both PoF and Ourtime (I’m 52, no apologies given).
Looking at the Viewed Me list in Plenty of Fish, here are the first eight dames who have.
Spot the fake profile/photo. This… is online dating.
A reader saved a text conversation with a woman he met via Tinder. The very long graphic below shows some key elements to successful texting with the relationship goal being a really short, sexual relationship.
As you read the transcript, look for the following from him:
- Conversation theme
- Consistent frame
- Verbal confidence
She’s no slouch in this text-based tête-à-tête.
Tinder is a wonder to behold. However, the reader later stated that he does much better with simply approaching women out in public and that he no longer uses Tinder.
Note: This is an unfolding story. Anytime 4chan is involved, the origin of things can get murky. Even if 4chan started it, this story has picked up serious momentum and the attention of the mainstream media.
As an oldster, video games and I go a long way back. In my youth, our family actually owned an Atari gaming console. It had one game: Pong. It was an idle distraction for Private Boy and his older brother. More sophisticated games could be found in video arcades and those were busy places. I spent quite a few quarters in such places, particular at the game room on Massachusetts Avenue next to the Orson Welles theater in Cambridge, MA. I noticed that some of the MIT kids from up the road were totally into such games and their conversations were all about technology that I simply couldn’t fathom. This was the beginning of gaming culture.
Going forward, I played some Doom on a PC, some Team Fortress, and later some Call of Duty on a Playstation. Enjoyable and a distraction, but I didn’t jump into the gamer culture. But I was aware of it because of my ex’s youngest son was quite the online video gamer and I asked him lots of questions while I watched him play some really cool first-person shooters. I overheard the audio as digital characters ruthlessly murdered each other. Good times.
There’s a stereotype of video gamers in that they tend to be younger men, socially awkward, white, heterosexual, and generally bereft of female attention. The female attention is the key element to the stereotype because it represents an exploitable emotional vulnerability. Demented female Social Justice Warriors (SJWs) moved in to maliciously exploit gamer guys in order to advance a cultural ideology. These puritanical scolds immediately started pushing their ideology with shame, anger, threats; all the usual tricks used by Internet bullies.
Even though SJWs are mentally ill and have a pathological hatred for gamer guys, they had a degree of success. Enough White knight gamers and game journalists fell for the manipulation and at least one high-profile SJW was actually taken seriously. Behold the power of ladyparts on guys who normally don’t get female attention. This is emotional exploitation of the highest order. “I don’t like guy gamers but in order to impose my ideological control on them, I’ll hold my nose and wade into their filth”.
But when ethical lines regarding trading sex for influence were crossed, the gamer community took a stand and basically told the SJWs and the gamer media who supported the SJWs to fuck off with #gamergate #notmyshield. Now the lines are drawn. White knights and SJWs on one side, informed gamers who hate being told what to do on the the other. The informed gamers are also not all white, male, and heterosexual. Oh, the conundrum; it turns out that gamers are not a monolith of white, cis-het scum.
I’m following this whole thing because I know that the SJWs continually try to influence normal and natural attraction and dating between the sexes. There’s a SJW-oriented dating advisor who floats around the Evan Marc Katz blog. In comments, he pushes back with political correctness against the sound and correct advice the EMK dispenses. EMK had to deliver a return comment smackdown at some point. That’s just one example. Every time a guy hears “you should be attracted to…”, there’s a SJW at work, either directly or indirectly through the politically correct media. Attraction isn’t a choice.
SJWs will always be needling the culture in order to fulfill an ideological agenda. Fortunately, they are operating in the context of a relatively free market capitalistic system. Financial profit will determine successful gaming content. That same profit will also determine the successful approach to attraction and dating advice. This makes SJWs seethe with rage and I rather enjoy that.