The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for the post-divorce crowd

A Man’s Adversity Is His Test For Women

As everyone knows, I’m dealing with a serious medical condition that’s ultimately fatal. Very recent changes to my health status have made things even more challenging. When I get the results from some medical tests, I’ll share here.

When I tell the women in my life about all this, I get some interesting responses. Most women simply don’t want hear my bad news. This doesn’t suprise me and nor does it bother me. As I have learned about human behavior I have also learned that women are mostly selfish. They want life to be about themselves. It’s a solipsistic point of view. A man facing serious stuff is a boat anchor on their lives.

Again, this doesn’t bother me. It’s my job to deal with the adversities that face me. But I’ve found it very illuminating regarding how the women in my life react to what I’m going through. The few who really care are incredibly sympathetic and supportive, even it’s beyond their comfort zone. These women really do care and it’s comforting to me. The rest… eh, they’ve made their motivations clear. Relationship material, they are not, even as friends.

There are two take-aways from my unique experiences:

1. Men should shut the hell up about their adversities when talking to women even if those women claim to be friends. Yes, this is cold and tough advice. However, there is a caveat here. If a man has faced an adversity and overcome it, he can bring it up. He shouldn’t make a huge deal of it. Rather, it should be a subject mentioned in passing.

2. If a woman is not emotionally invested in you, she will not care about your adversities unless you’ve overcome those adversities. She only wants to be entertained by you or that you are generous with her. Without that emotional investment, she will completely eschew your travails because, fundamentally, it’s all about her, solipsism 101.

As I’m over a certain age, I have gained insight into women also of a certain age. Many times I’ve read about the complaints from single women regarding men – “All they [men] want is simply a nurse or a purse”. That’s honest and understandable. On the flip side, men simply want youth and beauty, regardless of the men’s age or health. But he must have something to offer just as the women must have something to offer.

Suggestion Box – A Request To My Readers

I’ll make this brief. Since I started blogging back in 2011, I have never reached out to my readers and commenters to ask them what they wanted. That was egotistical of me. So, to rectify that situation, I ask my readers and commenters what they want from my blog. To wit:

  • Do you find what I write useful?
  • What editorial changes do you want to see in my blog?
  • What other subjects to you want me to cover?
  • What page layout changes to you want to see? (that includes graphics)
  • Any other input you want to offer?

I’ll be reading every comment and approved commenters will have their comments published automatically. If a regular commenter has a suggestion that he/she doesn’t want published publicly, reach out to me via email.

I’m well aware of the concept of the vocal minority. This means that the vast majority of my readers don’t typically comment. This is a chance for those readers to make their voices heard.

I really do appreciate the input and, as always, very grateful for my readers. I’m especially grateful for my commenters.

Thanks in advance!

The War Between The Sexes

I’ve heard this expression often over the past couple of decades. This is the concept that men and women are involved in some type of conflict over ideology, politics, and interpersonal relationships. There is a lot truth to that. As is patently obvious, men and women are different. Such differences result in conflicts.

Yet, men and women want and need each other. Politics and ideology must be dismissed when it comes to interpersonal relationships ‘twixt the sexes. Such a dismissal would reduce the war between the sexes to something more manageable. Ideology and politics have no business in personal relationships. Social justice warriors (SJWs) keep on trying to insert ideology into personal relationships. That’s a huge source of conflict between the sexes.

I have huge pity for the younger generation that must deal with current ideological expectations vis a vis interpersonal relationships with the opposite sex. It has become very polarized but not one sex against the other. Rather, the sexes – male and female – are divided into separate camps, two groups of men, two groups of women. And such polarization is not age-dependent.

It works something like this… the two groups of men consist of those with confidence and charisma (learned or natural) and those without. One group is noticed by women, the other group is ignored by women. There are ways for women to actually notice those invisible men. But frankly, it’s up to men to be noticed. It can be learned and it can be accomplished. Here’s a good start: www.succeedsocially.com. Being invisible to women is what the majority of men must cope with.

As for women, the two camps are divided as well. One group of women wants to be “strong and independent”, in effect, more masculine. The other camp, the much smaller one, is all about being being feminine. It’s easy to observe the first camp of women, especially from online dating profiles. They describes themselves with masculine words. They also highlight their travels and other achievements that don’t raise her attractiveness to high value men. The feminine women are noticed by men.

Men looking to be more noticeable to women have to watch out for the vicious cycle of lies and misinformation.  This cycle has resulted in something of an psychological arms race where women up their masculinity because they believe (through projection) that men are attracted to masculine women. Guys have to then increase their masculinity even more.

This is an untenable cultural situation. Google up some Maureen Dowd to see how this end game plays out. No one is content except the top-flight Alpha guys who can play the field with a huge age range of women. The high achieving women – in a man’s world – limit more and more of their relationship options as they move up the capitalistic and educational food chain. My dating coach peer, Evan Marc Katz, deals with this constantly. . Another peer, Bobbi Palmer, also copes with this same problem.  Both of these dating coaches have all-female clients: high achieving single women looking to meet their relationship goals.

For guys, the takeaway is this: When doing online dating always look for more feminine profiles. Eschew profiles that use the code-words of bossy and domineering women.  For real life, pay attention to women who make an effort to appear feminine. They may not have perfect figures or faces, but femininity is profoundly alluring and such women almost demand your attention, even if a simple “hello” along with some honest eye contact.

For women, the advice is simple and blunt: Men are not attracted to masculine women. You dames know what to do.

The war between the sexes can easily be reduced to a minor skirmish.

A Most Amazing Comment

[Not too long ago I published one of my blog’s early posts about what men want from women. One of my lurking female readers made an incredible comment that I’m publishing, with her permission, below. I’m not adding any commentary because the comment’s value stands by itself. It’s a very personal comment and I’m tremendously thankful for her input into my blog.

Oh, and she thinks I’m cute.]

I relish this blog. I read the posts and reader comments that truthfully make me wince, but, provide perspective on a topic that is personally relevant for a couple reasons.

The first, is relevance with regards to my future. I am a 46 year old woman who has been married and has grown children. Frankly, I did not manage my marital relationship well as a young woman who married a man who was 30 when I was 19. He treated me well, was an excellent provider and good father. 10 years into the marriage, at 29, I was guilty of having many of the traits echoed within the words I read, here. Despite having recognized it, the damage had been done. Today, I am willing to accept that I will likely never marry, again. Since I am of the opinion that marriage is the domain for establishing a family and home, marrying at this stage in my life or beyond wouldn’t serve any social purpose. Perhaps, it would be offered as a gesture of some other kind, but, even if it were, I would need to consider carefully.

I don’t believe I was fit to marry when I did with what I knew. The role model I had was a woman who embraced the values of pop culture circa 1969-1979. I was a latch-key kid. My mother was the epitome of the disasters of feminism. To an extent, I was a casualty of her example. At some point, information became available and if I was given sufficient intelligence to evaluate this information, then it was my responsibility to determine what I would do with it.
Truth is often not palatable. It is easy enough to rationalize oneself all around it without ever aligning to it. The problem of course is that a person unaligned with the truth is by definition off point. The truth is a straight line that doesn’t deviate. It serves as the ultimate measure of oneself. No wonder it’s not often a welcome visitor.

In any event, by failing in marriage I failed as a mother. That’s simply the truth. My children suffered as a result of my not being competent for marriage and raising a family within it. I cannot go back in time and apply the information I have, today, to what was already done. However, what I can do is raise my voice and tell my daughters what they must know if they expect to successfully marry and raise children of their own. This is an example of some of what I have actually instructed to my daughters:

1. Have and show respect for yourself and for others. Don’t waste anyone’s time, including your own, indulging what is in fact petty and unimportant. Feelings are not facts. Emotions are fluid. They change sometimes for reasons that are unrelated to whatever it is you have assigned them to. Therefore, check yourself before demanding anyone spend time addressing your emotional states. You’re confused when emotional and will only confuse the other person. Get clear on managing your feelings before attempting to introduce facts. Remember, feelings are not facts. Your feeling bad does not make it fact that what you have bad feelings about is bad.
It may or may not be. Feelings are useful as instruments to guide your initial sense of direction towards that discovery but they are only as useful as they are correctly understood.

2. If you want to have a happy marriage to a man you find desireable, you cannot expect from him what you should be finding in your relationships with other women. Your husband is not your best girl friend. If he is, you can expect that eventually the marriage will fail because one day you will think you married someone you no longer desire. This will be your fault. You married a man and then expected him to perform as a woman. What did you expect would happen once the man you once desired for being masculine was emasculated by your demands from him to be more like a woman? Don’t go to the hardware store to buy bread. Whatever it is that is satisfied by your friendships with women needs to remain there. Not in your marriage. Similarly, don’t expect to fulfill the role of being a man’s best buddy. Men need to have relationships with other men and you don’t need to like or understand them. You do need to honor and respect those that are made.

3. Sex is not a weapon. It is not a bargaining device. Sex is not owned by you once you marry because you can refuse it. You better get this straight in your head: during marriage, sex is a mutually owned venture. It feeds the engine of your marriage. If you intend on staying married to a man you desire and who wants to remain married to you, you will be generous when feeding the marriage. Sex is the gift of renewal to a married man. It tells him he is on track. He’s man enough for the job. He can slay tigers and conquer enemies. Refuse a man this and you can expect him to eventually leave where he isn’t appreciated.

4. Men and women desire one another for their differences. Men, generally, are attracted to women because of their femininity. Being feminine is neither a weakness nor a tool for manipulation. To be feminine, simply, is to embrace those unique qualities inherent to being female: soft, relationship conscious, loving & alluring. This isn’t to suggest that men are not loving, alluring, etc.. It is to emphasize that men do not desire (generally, and this is speaking to heterosexual men) what is considered masculine, such as physical strength, competetiveness, solution oriented and territorial. It is counter-productive to compete with a man you are in a committed relationship with. Men compete to win. That means a man is wired to crush his opponent. Avoid being your partner’s opponent.

5. Emotional blackmail, like desperation, is not a good look on anyone. Check your motives. Check your words and behavior. Have integrity. Sometimes, women may resort to verbal weapons because this is perceived as a substitute strength. Most women would be at a physical disadvantage if they managed their disputes with men via fist fights. Men, in general, are simply physically larger and stronger. However, consider this: if the relationship requires your employing weapons to manage it, you may be failing your relationship by being the creator of discord that was avoidable. Just think about it when you find yourself sabotaging your relationship with your words.

Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? What’s actually important?

I appreciate the forum and thank you for the opportunity to contribute an additional voice.

 

 

What Men Want From Women – Repost

[Note: I posted this over three years ago.]

Deti, a regular commenter on a variety of blogs wrote this in a comment on the Haley’s Halo blog post last year. It’s quite the comment and worth reposting but with a title:

What men want from women:

We want you to celebrate with us when we’ve triumphed.
We want you to help us through when we’re down.
We want you to stay with us when we’re down.
We want you to not be constantly looking for a better model.
We want you to encourage us when things aren’t going well.
We want a simple, heartfelt “I love you” at the end of a tough day.
We want you to show us and tell us that we satisfy you sexually.
Wa want you to show us that we are still attractive to you physically.

A man NEVER gets tired of hearing from his woman how great she thinks he is. NEVER. You can’t say it enough. If you do say it, you will have his undying love.

He will work himself into an early grave at a job he hates for you and your children. He will gladly throw himself in front of speeding cars for you. He will gladly lay down his life for you. He will give you all he is, all he has, all his money, and all the resources he can bring to bear.

And all he asks in return is for tenderness, a pleasant disposition, physical affection at reasonable intervals, and that you stay with him.

Why is that so hard to figure out?

It’s hard for women to figure out because of the vicious circle of lies and misinformation and the thin social mist of misandry.

More good stuff from Deti, here.

Conversations – Poor, Ordinary, Good, Great

I’m talking about conversation between or amongst people. While driving back from an awesome mini-vacation on Key Largo (that’s Florida!) I got into an interesting conversation with the lovely woman who motivated that trip. She was talking about her friend, Becky. I make a point to listen to conversations between and amongst people. I also make a point to listen carefully to how others describe their friends’ conversational style. Verbal exchanges are a huge part of social skills.

Poor Conversation

In listening to the description of how Becky carries on a conversation, I was quickly reminded of the nature of a poor conversation. Becky only talks about her own experiences and her associated feelings. No one else matters in this type of conversation except the speaker. This unfortunate type of conversation is terribly unbalanced and selfish. There is no way to get a word in because the speaker simply doesn’t care about the other person’s words, feelings, or opinions.

Frankly, this is not conversation, it’s an extended soliloquy about the speaker’s experiences, feelings, and opinions. When the speaker is a woman, she’s selfish and uncaring. When the speaker is a man, he’s a damned blowhard . Men and women like this are solipsistic to a ridiculous degree. Such people are to be avoided. For my readers, note how you hold your conversations and what you are talking about. Is it completely solipsistic? Fix it through self-examination and introspection.

Ordinary (Polite) Conversation

We tend to talk about ourselves. This is human nature and it’s OK. The ordinary conversation is when two people take turns talking about themselves. There is usually some degree of empathy or sympathy to when the speaker is talking is talking about himself or herself. If there are subjects other than one’s self raised, the nature of the conversation sticks to polite, politically correct responses or statements. Ordinary conversation is about avoiding interpersonal conflict. This is a healthy cultural response in order to avoid potential conflicts. Just know that such types of conversation generally aren’t intellectually stimulating. A man can’t stand out from the crowd using just ordinary conversation.

Good Conversation

These are conversations that do not focus on the self, but on events outside of our individual experiences. Current news events or even celebrity gossip can fit in this conversational category. Such conversations are not as solipsistic as poor or ordinary conversations. Of course, there is discussion of one’s feelings or opinions about the topic at hand. A bunch of guys jaw-boning about sports is an example of good conversation. Women may find that topic uninteresting, but that’s OK. Men typically don’t find celebrity gossip particularly interesting. These types of conversations can be fun and have a degree of intellectual stimulation that goes way above poor and ordinary conversations.

Great Conversation

This is the category conversation that focuses on ideas. There is little in the way of selfish, solipsistic subject matter. One’s feelings or experiences matter far less than the logic and reason required to make an effective point, pro or con to the matter at hand. These type of conversations can be heated and political. But amongst intelligent people with emotional self-control, such a verbal exchange is intellectually healthy and vigorous. This category of conversation is also the most difficult to attain. It’s human nature to fall back a solipsistic conversational approach.

There is a bonus to having a great conversation. It’s an opportunity for a man to show some intellectual backbone as long as he’s not being a blowhard. The willingness to at least listen to an opposing intellectual concept is a serious mark of being intelligent. Equal with confidence, intelligence is an attraction point for women. That goes double for a guy who’s a great conversationalist

The take away for all my readers is this: Be keenly aware of what you are talking about when in a conversation. As well, be keenly aware of how the person (or people) respond to you. Are they reverting back to personal first person pronouns? That’s selfish but understandable. A guy has to make his own decisions regarding how a person responds and if he should continue the conversation.

Small Talk And Uber

I am a huge fan and a big consumer of Uber, the car and driver hire service.  If you don’t have Uber in your city, I really hope it gets there soon. My experience has been universally positive since I started using the service last August. Uber has made my life without personal transportation in South Florida completely possible. The cell phone app works very well and the costs are modest for me. That being said, surge pricing can make things more expensive. The rating system of drivers and riders is phenomenal.

I’m motivated to write about Uber because the company is threatening to pull out of Broward County over proposed measures that would effectively force Uber out of the county, as the company has threatened.  I really don’t want that to happen because I think I’ll be using Uber for years to come.

Politics aside, Uber is a great social opportunity. Chatting with the driver is a great time to flex your social skills. It’s purely idle chit chat, small talk at its smallest. There is no agenda except to be friendly. Here in South Florida, the Uber drivers are a very eclectic bunch representing many cultures and ages. Indeed, I’ve had several female Uber drivers. The woman from Bengladesh I’ve had drive me several times. Her brother-in-law is also an Uber driver and he’s driven me, as well.

I always attempt to verbally engage the Uber driver. Sometimes it’s challenging because of accents and language issues but I really make a serious effort. Talking to people from other cultures and who’s native language is not English is a great conversational challenge. I’ve got a standard opening for Uber drivers, “So, how is Uber working for you?” The answer is always polite but it’s a great opening question. Showing interest in another person, even a complete stranger, is a very charismatic social skill. People love to talk about themselves and the stories from all these Uber drivers has been riveting for me.

I know a lot of guys bitch and moan about “small talk” and how they loathe it. That attitude gets neither pity nor understanding from me. Small talk is the both the social glue and social lubrication that keep us human and not degenerating into savagery. Small talk is what gets people talking. Small talk is how men can approach women without being a blowhard.  Small talk is a phenomenal opportunity to be witty and charismatic. And with an Uber ride (always sit up front), there’s a fully functioning adult right next to you who probably wants some small talk, too.

Why I Do This

I recently watched a very interesting video from Rollo.

He asks the question, “why bother”?

I ask myself the same question. I started blogging from a selfish point of view. I acknowledge that. My blog has been both a benefit and a detraction from my life. I’ve lost girlfriends over what I write. The last one hurt the most. But I stay true to my words and ideas. A man must be true to himself, regardless of how that affects his relationship with women. Frank Sinatra had a great song about it, “I Did It My Way

Hypergamy is the one word that made me understand how the relationship ‘twixt the sexes really works. Women loathe that word. They loathe that word with a white-hot passion. They loathe that word because they know it’s the truth despite what modern social expectations attempt to dictate. It’s that one word that keeps me writing and sharing wisdom. It’s that word is why I do this, blogging.

I very recently read a quote from Tom Leykis.

“I’d rather live in a one bedroom apartment than take orders from some bitch.”

It’s a savagely ugly quote. It also speaks honest truths. A man who takes orders from a woman is not a man. If he does, he’s an obsequious and supplicating doormat unworthy of respect from anyone. He’s worthless.

A man must be independent. He must live for himself, never taking orders from a woman who is only concerned for herself. This is where the irony kicks in. If a man responds to orders from a woman, his attractiveness to her dies. Sure, she might say good words to him and to her friends but the end result is loss of respect for him. Guys, when a woman tells you what to do, always say no. Always. The resulting verbal shit storm will be awesome. The resulting respect and passion will be so much more.

This is why I blog. I want to share solid and truthful information about how humans behave. We’re predictable. We’re not special snowflakes. Every word, every action, everything we do can be predicted because we’re dealing with homo sapiens. To deny that is to wallow in the deep morass of unhappiness predicated on the special snowflake concept.

Here’s another Sinatra song that I really like. It speaks to the phases of a man’s life. And the accompanying music is phenomenal. Suck it, Beethoven.

 

Two Recent Interviews With Me (Podcasts)

There are two recent podcasts where I was interviewed. The first interview was by Dom Torres , a young blogger and traveller. It’s just over an hour and covers a wide range of topics and I also talk about my own life. Do note that I got the chronology of my early-twenties life a bit wrong but the other facts are accurate. It’s interesting to note that Dom did the interview via Skype from Uganda. He’s definitely a world traveler. Africa is the one continent I have never visited. I give Dom serious respect for his African travels.

The full URL is here:

http://dom-torres.com/2015/04/07/hangover-radio-ep-15-an-interview-with-the-private-man/

He’s got some other interviews, several with porn stars if you’re into that kind of thing. He’s a good cat.

The next podcast interview was with Christian McQueen . He’s quite well known in the Manosphere and is not without controversy. Regardless, he interviewed me for two full hours with many, many subjects covered. Including charisma, lessons for younger men, cultural commentary about gender, and even stories about my dog. There’s also a section where I talk candidly about my cancer.

I’ve gotten a great review of that interview:

O man ‘The Private Man’ is fucking hilarious. His voice is capturing and the way he describes things is hysterical. Great interview.

There is one important caveat with McQueen’s interview. It’s premium content and therefore you have to pay. If you do elect to pay, do know that I’m not making one penny from that. Here’s the full URL:

http://amanindemandradio.podbean.com/e/episode-4-the-private-man-interview/

If you don’t want to pay, that’s fine and I understand.

I do love talking about Red Pill issues it’s just such topics are loathed by the mainstream media and the general population of civilians. I’ve offered myself up for other interviews and maybe I’ll get a call from some media outlet outside of the Manosphere.

What Does She Offer?

Through the miracle of Twitter, I was linked to this article:

Here’s the full transcript. My comments are at the bottom

For many single women over 50, the idea of dating creates angst, frustration, and confusion. But as a dating coach for women, I’m here to tell you, “Please don’t fret!”

The truth is— those 20-something gals have nothing on you when it comes to dating prowess. Surprised to hear me say that? Don’t be! Here’s five pretty fantastic reasons why dating over 50 is actually light years better than in your 20s.
So, let go of those false notions that you’re behind the game in any way. Ladies, it’s time to enjoy the dating process and realize that your love destiny is as bright and beautiful as you are. And knowing that makes all the difference because, as you can imagine, your outlook on men and dating is a huge factor in your experience and results.

Here are the five reasons dating over 50 is where it’s at:

1. At 50, you know who you are.

Today, you approach dating with a wealth of life knowledge. You no longer wonder who you are, as you might have in your 20s. Stop and take note of this and give yourself a chance to feel empowered by it.

According to WebMD, women over 50 feel more self-assured, know what they like (and don’t like), and trust themselves more. That’s the benefit of life experience—greater confidence. No, this doesn’t mean you have it all figured out, but you’ve been there and done that so you can now be yourself and enjoy.

Did you feel that way at 22? I doubt it. Back then you were still “finding yourself”, endlessly comparing yourself to others and worrying about what people thought. Confidence was hard to come by. You had to try things to discover your preferences, which meant you probably learned some hard lessons.

The benefits of this experience a 50 are remarkable. Now, apply that wonderful life knowledge and confidence to dating! You know what you like about men and relationships, and what you don’t. Let that be your guide as you start meeting men and dating.

2. You have no desire to start a family.

So much freedom comes with no longer hearing the tick-tock of your biological clock. You’re past having kids, and if you do have children, they’re older and need less of your time.

In your 20s you were looking for a man you could start a family with. Your criteria for a mate was much different, seeking a guy who could be a good provider and father. Later in your 20s, the clock ticked louder, which put pressure on you to make choices in partners that maybe weren’t the best.

Now you are either free from most child-rearing duties, or completely finished. Congratulations! Fighting with a potential partner about parenting approaches is not an issue any longer. And you don’t need a pick a man based on his potential as a father. In truth, many women in their 50s no longer need a man to act as a provider either because they are financially independent.

This means, now you can focus on having fun! You have the freedom to choose a man because he knows how to enjoy life and is ready to share that with you. Sounds good, right?

3. You have relationship experience.

Reaching your 50s, you’ve been married or you’ve been in relationships, so you’ve acquired the communication skills to handle issues that crop up (you’re also mature enough to know issues DO crop up as part of healthy, normal relationships). Now, you’re no longer afraid to speak up because you’ve seen things can and do work out. Calm conversations, logical thinking, and giving each other a chance to express concerns leads to working through problems successfully.

Remember your first fight with a boyfriend in your 20s? That was an insane amount of drama! You made mistakes, said the wrong thing, stormed out of the room, and worse. You had little knowledge of how to discuss a situation calmly, make your point fairly, or compromise.

When dating over 50, you know what type of behavior is unacceptable, how to resolve problems, and when it’s smart to compromise to get back to the pleasure of his company. That experience makes all the difference. Apply that wisdom to dating and finding love this time around. There’s no guarantee of perpetual bliss, but love is fabulous after 50.

4. You don’t need him to “put a ring on it.”

Many women over 50 married at least once, so you’ve likely already walked down the aisle and had the big wedding. Now, getting married isn’t such a pressing need. Many divorced people over 50 don’t want to marry again, even though they do want a long-term, committed relationship. You are free to choose.

Being family-minded in your 20s, marriage was vitally important. Your friends got engaged left and right and you started to feel out of the loop if you weren’t going in the same direction.

At 50, the pressure is off. You can “live together apart”, live together, or get married. This opens a world of options to connect with men. Of course, you can still choose to marry, but that’s entirely up to you. I’m not at all trying to dissuade you. But when you don’t marry, you avoid legal battles in the event things don’t work out and retain a measure of freedom in your relationship if you want that.

5. Men over 50 are more tender.

Not only have you improved with age, but so have the men. Dr. Joel Block—sex therapist and author of Sex Over 50—claims men over 50 are “more tender.” Apparently, as men age they get more comfortable with intimacy and can become nurturing. As people age they grow wiser and fine-tune their relationship skills.

Back in your 20s, do you remember men being nurturing, tender, or wise about women and their needs? Well, maybe a few were, but for the most part—both genders are just muddling their way through the confusing maze of dating and relationships.

So, you see, ladies—the chances of finding a man who understands you are better than ever over 50.

You can meet a man who is more caring and wants to make love work … without stressing about finding a provider, rushing to the altar, or getting pregnant. You know yourself and what works for you. This is ideal for dating and finding love after 50.

But you must make yourself available so the right guy can find you!

Trouble is, men can’t find you unless you put yourself out there. It’s time to socialize, get online, and have friends and family fix you up. Learn about how dating works today and then move forward with confidence, because honey, you are still a great catch and there’s a man out there who will be so lucky to find you.

Are you a single woman over 40 who is ready to start dating or dating but not meeting the right men? Get the proven dating advice you need from a dating coach who specializes in helping women over 40 with loads of success stories. Download my free book: [Redacted] so you can avoid heartbreaking missteps on your way to finding the magic of love.

The author of this article clearly has something to sell, and when dealing with dating coaches for the post-divorce crowd, always follow the money. It matters little if their information is true and accurate – if they can make a few thousand bucks giving out advice, then it’s considered a success. For women, this article is feel-good pablum. Actually, it is criminally bad feel-good pablum.

A post-50, post-divorce woman must bring something to the relationship table that a man wants. If she’s not prepared for that, then she is not ready for dating. Here’s the reality: A 50-something Prince Charming is dating 30-somethings and the sooner a 50-something woman realizes that’s her competition, the sooner she’ll be successful in realizing her relationship goals. She can loudly and proudly (“I’ll never settle!”) take herself out of the dating market, that’s her option. Attractive men do what they want with whom they want no matter how a 50-something woman “feels”.

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