The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “July 21, 2015”

That Visceral Reaction – How Predictable

“Well, they’re losers then!”

This remark was the result of a heated conversation with an older woman about what I do in this blog. I was describing how post-divorce men needed help with attraction and dating. Her reaction was typical. Woman loathe the idea of a man teaching and advising other men to be more attractive to women, to improve themselves in general.

The strong conversation continued. I loathe with all my energy when a woman insults a man merely because he’s trying to learn and improve himself. Do women expect men to just “get it?” Yes, they do expect that and they expect it to come naturally to men without any outside assistance. The PUA community catches a raft of shit for exactly this. The accusations that such information teaches tricks and manipulation. Such skills are neither tricks nor manipulation. They are perfectly reasonable social skills for a man to use when dealing with the vastly predictable behavior of the opposite sex.

“They’re not losers, they are men who got divorced and need help getting back into dating.” I was firm in my stand. I stopped long ago rolling over in matters that I’m passionate about. I am also profoundly suspicious about any woman who offers her opinions on men trying to re-enter the difficult world of post-divorce dating. I have a standard response that usually makes a woman’s hackles rise.

“You’re not a man and you don’t date women, you really don’t know” I told her firmly.

This is absolutely true. Women have no empathy for the masculine experience, especially if it involves adversity. Women simply don’t care about men as a group. Men have to rally around the positive elements fo the masculine imperative. My response flummoxed the woman so she changed tactics with a very predictable response.

“Why are you qualified?!”

I gave my standard response that I do research, I observe, and I have experience. According to this woman, I had to have a PhD of some sort just to give out attraction and dating advice. Perhaps a degree in physics would be OK? Why should I need some letters after my name to provide information about the predictable nature of human beings?

At this point in the conversation, the woman was furious. She tossed out some insults towards me, things I’ve heard countless times and simple don’t affect me.

“You’re a con man!” she hollered at me as I walked away.

Ah, that anger simply told me that I was right. This is something every man must realize: When a woman is angry at what you say, it means you are correct in your logical assertion. I don’t relish making anyone angry yet it sometimes happens because of my confidence in the truth of information I provide to post-divorce singles looking to meet relationship goals.

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