The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Why I Do This

I recently watched a very interesting video from Rollo.

He asks the question, “why bother”?

I ask myself the same question. I started blogging from a selfish point of view. I acknowledge that. My blog has been both a benefit and a detraction from my life. I’ve lost girlfriends over what I write. The last one hurt the most. But I stay true to my words and ideas. A man must be true to himself, regardless of how that affects his relationship with women. Frank Sinatra had a great song about it, “I Did It My Way

Hypergamy is the one word that made me understand how the relationship ‘twixt the sexes really works. Women loathe that word. They loathe that word with a white-hot passion. They loathe that word because they know it’s the truth despite what modern social expectations attempt to dictate. It’s that one word that keeps me writing and sharing wisdom. It’s that word is why I do this, blogging.

I very recently read a quote from Tom Leykis.

“I’d rather live in a one bedroom apartment than take orders from some bitch.”

It’s a savagely ugly quote. It also speaks honest truths. A man who takes orders from a woman is not a man. If he does, he’s an obsequious and supplicating doormat unworthy of respect from anyone. He’s worthless.

A man must be independent. He must live for himself, never taking orders from a woman who is only concerned for herself. This is where the irony kicks in. If a man responds to orders from a woman, his attractiveness to her dies. Sure, she might say good words to him and to her friends but the end result is loss of respect for him. Guys, when a woman tells you what to do, always say no. Always. The resulting verbal shit storm will be awesome. The resulting respect and passion will be so much more.

This is why I blog. I want to share solid and truthful information about how humans behave. We’re predictable. We’re not special snowflakes. Every word, every action, everything we do can be predicted because we’re dealing with homo sapiens. To deny that is to wallow in the deep morass of unhappiness predicated on the special snowflake concept.

Here’s another Sinatra song that I really like. It speaks to the phases of a man’s life. And the accompanying music is phenomenal. Suck it, Beethoven.


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12 thoughts on “Why I Do This

  1. I have to ask, if what you say is true regarding your stances, why do you keep losing girlfriends?

  2. Browneye on said:

    Right on UL. Bravo! I actually didn’t realize how many men fall into this mindset. It means all their wimmins is prime for the taking. LOL

  3. That video is very good. I see it was posted in 2013 but it has less than a thousand views.

  4. Sadly this epiphany comes later in life, after one has survived divorce, a cheating spouse with shark eyes looking at you like garbage after they’ve been confronted. One can either become bitter or accept that this just how we are wired and move on. It took me a while to accept that the second was the reality , the anger, disgust and pain just has to be dealt with first….For me it’s a “Beautiful Day”…

  5. It’s better to be single and happy, than in a miserable commitment. Keep preaching, PM. Your blog is a help to men everywhere, and the women who aren’t hypergamous are behind you all the way. As for those that are upset you’re giving away their secrets and making men think before dating them? Oh well.

  6. Steve on said:

    Leykis’ quote is familiar and not that ugly. It’s actually a paraphrase from the Bible.

  7. Great post Private man

  8. Thank you, I needed this. I’m writing this comment after having dealt with something with my wife. This went down about an hour ago.

    Each day, I go to “Red Pill Room” and peruse the newest posts that are listed on the blog roll known as “Manosphere Greatness”. This is my “Drudge Report”. I usually hit up “Roosh”, “ROK”, and “Alpha Game”. It’s rare for me to go to this website. Nothing against your blog, it’s merely a habit. At any rate, after the drama with my wife, I was fighting an old tendency of self doubt. The best lesson I’ve ever learned from the so-called “Manosphere” is to “do you” and not let anything cause a deviation from such. The drama with my wife reawakened this old tendency and I started to question myself. I was in a serious tailspin and had trouble redirecting.

    In stressful moments, I find escape in perusing the interwebz. “Red Pill Room” is my first stop and there is where I saw this blog post. The title caught my interest. I’m in the middle of doing something in order to make a change in my life and in doing this “thing”, time was subtracted from the things I do as a spouse. In my mind, I do a lot of things as a spouse unfortunately however, conversation is not my strong point. I think the time subtracted by this project I am involved with added to my deficient expressive abilities, and this caused the drama.

    The title “Why I Do This” was a question I was asking of myself in the wake of the drama. I wasn’t asking about my marriage instead, I was asking about the things in my life I intentionally choose to do, and these things, in my mind, make me the person I am and the person I pursue to be. The drama led me back to the old tendency which led me to doubt myself. Of course, I knew better but I needed further reassurance (yes, I am admitting to needing a validation). The title of this blog post seemed like one of those moments when you think you’ve found something you were searching for in a time of desperate need.

    I clicked the link and read your post. While I cannot say that things got “right” in my mind, I do feel right in the things I am pursuing individually as well as the things I’ve done thus far in my marriage. I’m still processing everything that went down but this article appeared at a time when I needed these words. Thanks!

  9. Married Man on said:

    That Tom Leykis quote is gold. I’ve lived alone, it’s not so bad, I’ve lived with women who loved me, that was good, and I’ve lived with women who slowly developed contempt for me. The last one is the worst of the three. Contempt is like acid, just burns slowly into you, eating everything in its path.

    Guys, when a woman tells you what to do, always say no. Always. The resulting verbal shit storm will be awesome.

    The storm may last for a while, if you’ve been weak too long. Because her hindbrain doesn’t really believe you are capable of standing up to her. This is why men who start Gaming their women sometimes find her doubling down on the shit testing, shit storms and just plain shit. She has to know you mean it, and that can take a while.

    But the alternative? Living in misery covered in her contempt.

    The resulting respect and passion will be so much more.

    Just bear in mind this may take a while.

    • For me, it has led to my living in a small rental house headed for divorce and you know what? I’ve never been happier. I got tired of living up to expectations, most of which were unspoken never giving me the opportunity to either reject them or accept them, and she had me served with “divorce from bed and board” papers. She claimed she didn’t want a divorce, but fuck that. You don’t get to have me evicted from my home to teach me some kind of lesson with the intent of having me crawl back on hands and knees. I have too much self-respect (at least I do now).

      She kept escalating the pressure (e.g. sleeping on the couch, not talking to me) until serving the papers as I wouldn’t respond in the ingratiating manner she was seeking. I have 6 children and am paying through the nose in both child support and spousal support, but I don’t care. I had the financial burden anyway, but now I can live a life free of her self-righteousness. Plus, I can hopefully find a women that isn’t bound up in bullshit, or have fun trying, because I know who I am now and I won’t allow anyone to make me into something else because that is who they expect me to be.

  10. cptnemo2013 on said:

    Reblogged this on MGTOW 2.0.

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