The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

A Woman’s Red Pill Online Dating Profile

This woman’s online dating profile is real. She and I have corresponded in the past and she recently sent me a link to her blog where she copied her profile. Here it is in all its amazing glory. In a subsequent email, she has indicated that this profile is indeed on a real online dating website, Plenty of Fish. Do note that I’ve blogged about her previously.

It’s very clear that this woman reads Red Pill attraction and dating blogs and has incorporated that advice into her online dating profile. As for the response, she indicated the numbers which are found below the quoted profile along with some additional comments from me. Note: I’ve added a few comments to her profile in [brackets].

1. Do you like to eat? If you do, I like to cook, and I like to cook what you like to eat, not what I think you should eat. I’ll even cook fish, even though I don’t (nor ever have) eaten seafood. Of any kind. [Damn, she cooks.]

2. Do you have tools? If you have tools, I won’t let them get rusty. If you have rusty tools, they won’t stay that way. Why? Because I restore tools as a hobby. Don’t worry, I won’t be taking or moving them anywhere. I have my own!

3. Do you enjoy listening to women talk your ear off about nothing that interests you? Or, worse, about things that confuse or frustrate you? I don’t either. I have never been a chatty person who talks just to fill up silent spaces. I like silent spaces. There is nothing awkward about silence, in my opinion.

4. Do you enjoy cleaning? If you don’t, that is great because I enjoy it and, frankly, I am not sure what I think of men who are compulsively neat. If you are more fastidiously clean than I am, we are probably not a great match. [I’ve always been suspicious of guys who are neat freaks]

5. Do you have an ego? Meaning, has anyone ever described you as an a**h*le? I hope so, because I believe men have egos for a good reason and I like to feed them. Well. If you have never been an a**h*le, again, we probably aren’t a great match. Men are either valiant or violent [Ed. – this is simplistic and I’m not on board with it]. If you have not been with a woman, lately, who appreciates the things about you that are “male”, you will simply love me.

6. Do you like having intelligent discussions about interesting topics? I do, too. How about a sense of humor? If you like to laugh, you’ll like me. If you like to make me laugh, too, we might be quick friends.

7. Do you like to enjoy your hard-earned money? You should. Your wallet is safe around me. I have never expected anyone to support me financially. I work hard, too. I understand.

So, what’s the catch? Well, I am a woman in her 40’s, so, I don’t bring the same appeal as a young woman does. I am also divorced and have children. My children are adults and self-supporting, however. I am hardly perfect. I am not a 10, but, I would be a solid 7 on even my worst days. As for age, I have acquired wisdom that saves us both the aggravation of navigating my changing moodscape. I know that feelings aren’t facts. The worst you’ll experience is my taking time alone to process my emotions before I discuss anything that requires a rational contribution on my part.

As far as appearance, my rule is simple, my dress size should be about the same as my shoe size. I wear an 8.5 shoe, by the way. I keep my hair long. It’s blonde. My eyes are blue. I am 5’6? and I have no hang ups about men’s height. If you are anywhere between 5’4 and 8’11, we’ll be ok.

What am I attracted to? I am open-minded. I suppose I find open minds attractive, as well. I don’t tolerate physical violence and I promise I am not inclined to do those things that push a man to respond with violence. We both know the type.

To be fair, and realistic, I am a woman. By nature, You and I are different in many ways [Men and women are different, duh]. I will honor and respect those differences and can only ask that you do, too.

In subsequent correspondence, the profile writer wrote that she had over 625 total responses since posting the profile back in May of this year. Given the words in her profile, I am not surprised. Here is a woman who is willing – based on her words – to actually respect a man’s needs in the context of dating. Of course it helps that she’s blonde and attractive. Some will argue that her appearance is the only reason she gets so much online attention. But given the excellent written content of the profile, I argue that the photos are only a part of the motivation for so many guys to respond to her.

Just yesterday (08/16/2015), here is the response breakdown in her own words:

Since yesterday morning, 126 men on the site indicated they wanted to meet me using the “meet me” feature on the site (a slideshow of profile pictures and profile headline) And, 90 men viewed my profile, directly. and 6 men ‘favorited’ my profile.


Of the 126 indicating they wanted to meet me through PoF’s “meet me” feature, some or all 90 of these men clicked through to view my profile, directly. Some apparently decided they would meet me based on the photo and headline shown.

Of those 90 direct profile views, 11 resulted in a message, 6 resulted in my profile being marked as a ‘favorite’.

This response rate in just one day clearly shows that men are starved for a woman who understands what they want. If women doing online dating understood this, they wouldn’t be single very long. But instead, the message women receive is that they should make demands of men; insist that men cowtow to the feminine imperative. So few profiles written by women actually state what they offer a man. It seems some sort of contemporary shibboleth for a woman to explicitly state what she offers a man that he actually desires in a woman.

As an aside, here’s my standard online dating advice for guys. Don’t use the one button shortcuts or the “favorite” function. Send the message as soon as the profile is displayed and the woman looks appealing. The message should be short but customized for each profile. There’s more online dating advice for men here.

There are posts that I wish more women would read. This is one of those posts.

[If you liked this blog post, please support my efforts through my Patreon. Thanks!]

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24 thoughts on “A Woman’s Red Pill Online Dating Profile

  1. docillusion on said:

    If she “has her own money” that means she works. Not interested.

    Any woman I’m with should dedicate her life to me, our home, and any children involved.

    When women have jobs, they tend to cheat with their boss or some other co-worker. I have no time for that nonsense.

    Also, I have 4 weeks of paid vacation per year and like to take off to the beach for weeks at a time. I’ve yet to date a woman with a job who could also take off for a few weeks with pay.

    So bugger that.

    Aside from that, she sounds cool.

    • She stated that she has adult children who do not live at home, and being in her 40s additional children are unlikely. You would want her to hang around an empty house all day waiting for you to come home?

      • (I hit “Post comment” too soon.)

        Anyone in that situation would inevitably find something – or someone – to occupy their time.

      • docillusion on said:

        My current mate and I have no children at home. She spends the day cooking, cleaning, feeding animals, working in the garden, running errands and reading. Not “just sitting around in an empty house.”

    • So you want a woman that’s living on her own with no visible means of support.


      The only “types” of women I can think of that would be like that are a) on welfare, b) divorce raped their previous X, or c) have a trust fund.

      Which of those doors would you like to open?

      If you bring enough resources to the table and you’re both agreeable to the idea, she can easily quit her job. Until then I’d call being employed and self-sufficient a serious plus.

      • docillusion on said:

        I generally pick them up young (18-20) and they either don’t have a job or theh quit once they meet me.

        Picked up my current girl when she was 19 and I was 26. Been together for 4 years now. She doesn’t work.

      • And if she was in her 40s on her own and looking for a partner – would “doesn’t work” be a plus then? It wouldn’t to be to me.

      • Northern:

        By 40 she should be independently wealthy and retired.

  2. Pingback: A Woman’s Red Pill Online Dating Profile |

  3. This woman sounds very interesting.

    Saying that she has a sense of humor doesn’t say much. Is she judgmental or can she party? Mrs. Gamer isn’t a party girl and can be a wet blanket to me.

    A woman who has her own money might earn it as a business out of her home. That would allow her possibly to afford a servant or two. Proverbs 31 and all that.

    Would not interested in a career woman who works for a man. Mrs. Gamer works outside the home, but always for a woman. Not much contact with men.

  4. Do you enjoy cleaning? If you don’t, that is great because I enjoy it and, frankly, I am not sure what I think of men who are compulsively neat. If you are more fastidiously clean than I am, we are probably not a great match.

    This is the only worrisome part. I have pride in myself and in my home. I keep my shit clean and put away. Once a week my wife and I divvy up chores and get the house sparkling in about an hour, and we have a maintenance list to knock off every day.

    This is not a negative, but a huge positive. I’m sure she talks a big game, but she doesn’t want a man she has to baby sit and she doesn’t want a slob. While I’m not “go over everything with a toothbrush” obsessive, I am neat and clean and I don’t go to bed with dishes in the sink.

    I would most likely not respond to her profile because of that line. Of course, this also takes into account the fact that there is a decent age gap between us, so I scrutinize her a bit harder than I would a younger woman.

  5. I’d surmise her “worrisome” part about a neat freak is the potential for control issues in other areas, and probably reflects something she experienced in her past history.

    • Which brings us to another issue that is always going to crop up in middle aged singles: Baggage. She says she has wisdom with her age. She also has her own unique set of neuroses that must be met and dealt with.

      • Agreed – although I’d argue the “baggage” part is true for many singles that age of regardless of gender. How one copes with that baggage and deals with it is what’s important.

      • With age comes experience and the potential for negative baggage. This is the reality on the ground. What separates baggage from experience is that baggage keeps us wallowing in the past and experience gives us lessons for the future.

        Shit, gonna Tweet that.

  6. She seems to be on the right path. Kudos to her. I would be intrigued enough to send a message and pitch a meet up.

  7. I guess its living in this culture that makes it sounds a little cheesy to hear a woman dating list off everything she has to offer… but it makes sense, and I love that it worked so well for her even after 1 day.. If she’s a 7 at 40, I bet she’s ahead of most women 😀 Hope she finds a great catch! Romantic.

  8. “here’s my standard online dating advice for guys. Don’t use the one button shortcuts or the “favorite” function. Send the message as soon as the profile is displayed and the woman looks appealing. The message should be short but customized for each profile.”

    ^Yes… don’t use the “favorite” button as it will only show her that you’re that desperate and think more of her than you should at that point (you haven’t even met this woman). As a man, you don’t want to show her she’s already on some pedestal in your mind as a “favorite” yet. Make your own profile sexy and attractive, cocky or witty, and send only a short message like PM says.

    Letting her know you like her that much at this point is a turn off to most women unless you’re ridiculously high value somehow (like a millionare). Women like having to obtain your affection and attentions… don’t just hand it to her, or she’ll lose all interest.

  9. “This response rate in just one day clearly shows that men are starved for a woman who understands what they want. ”

    First, thank you for not says that it “proves” anything, because it clearly doesn’t. This data is merely anecdotal evidence. Without knowing the response rate for similarly attractive women of her age on the dating site, it tell us VERY little about whether this is a “success” or not.

  10. It would be interesting to experiment using the same womans photos and a bland profile what the response rate would be. There are quite a few profiles where all you have to go on is the photo as most sections are wither blank or contain nothing about the person.

  11. Browneye on said:


    Now, if there are little nit-picking things in a sentence or two that bug you, try just asking about those. Someone with this kind of flexibility is likely to accommodate. Would be a fun lady to meet for sure.

    While I’ve never met/dated a woman exactly like this I have experienced the cooperation and respect described there. Some girls are really down to earth.

    When I was a young lad I studied yacht design and boat building. One of the old standby’s was L. Francis Herreshoff from the depression era. In his book “Sensible Cruising Designs” he describes how to build and outfit a basic camping mini-yacht and how to travel cheap. He also describes how to pick a suitable first mate and described that the pretty and gasketed-up show-boat of a woman in high heels would be hard to please and hard to live with.

    I guess this stuff is age-old, eh?

    • My eldest son is, coincidentally, a ship architect. I take interest in what interests the people I love so if we ever find ourselves on a date, that yacht design could make for the kind of unexpected conversation that makes a good date a great memory. Thanks for sharing that ibit in your comment. Gave me a nice feeling. 🙂

  12. Men and women are so different. I couldn’t even stand someone like that as a friend.

  13. Hello! I’ve read this blog for a little while now (that’s a long story, lol), and have always enjoyed it.

    I just wanted to ask someone about leagues, and how you know what your league is, as a woman. I tried to ask two old married men at my church what my league is, and they said I was probably about a seven, but they didn’t know enough about dating to know anything about my league. Fair enough. I trust their opinions, because they’re very straight-forward, and I go to them for advice about stuff. They’re kind of like uncles to me. As one of my friends says, he’s not there to sugar-coat things for me.

    I hope no one judges me for this, but I go to a very small church, so there literally isn’t a single man in my age-range. I usually just go on dates with guys I meet in life, and then try to gauge if they’d be open to my beliefs. That being said, I can usually determine that pretty quickly, because I’m not going beyond making-out until I have a ring on my finger!

    I’m in late twenties. I work a lot, so I’m only now making time for dating, and am really stumped. I guess I’m just awkward, and need some help figuring this all out. I think it’s a good idea to know what I should be looking for, so I don’t waste too much of my time.

    Thanks in advance for all your help!

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