The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Suggestion Box – A Request To My Readers

I’ll make this brief. Since I started blogging back in 2011, I have never reached out to my readers and commenters to ask them what they wanted. That was egotistical of me. So, to rectify that situation, I ask my readers and commenters what they want from my blog. To wit:

  • Do you find what I write useful?
  • What editorial changes do you want to see in my blog?
  • What other subjects to you want me to cover?
  • What page layout changes to you want to see? (that includes graphics)
  • Any other input you want to offer?

I’ll be reading every comment and approved commenters will have their comments published automatically. If a regular commenter has a suggestion that he/she doesn’t want published publicly, reach out to me via email.

I’m well aware of the concept of the vocal minority. This means that the vast majority of my readers don’t typically comment. This is a chance for those readers to make their voices heard.

I really do appreciate the input and, as always, very grateful for my readers. I’m especially grateful for my commenters.

Thanks in advance!

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11 thoughts on “Suggestion Box – A Request To My Readers

  1. Avi Woolf on said:

    I find your commentary very informative. What’s great about you is that you are careful, patient and accurate. You aim to help, not just to complain.

    I would like to see more pieces of advice to guys on how to become more visible, sociable and so on. We need to help the Mister Cellophanes of the world.

    • Thank you. I really do enjoy helping post-divorce single men.

      I also really like the term “cellophane man”. It’s very telling how this concept is cross-cultural.

      Blogging is an exercise in randomness. When an idea hits, it gets written and posted. For me, that happens without enough regard to overall organization of my blog. A couple of years ago I deleted a whole shit-ton of blog posts that were just a bit too personal regarding the women I was dating. While a lot of good material was lost, I think I did the right thing by being protective. Despite living in a big metropolitan area, I am a know figure in the town I live.

      As an aside, you’re tweets and re-tweets of my stuff have been excellent motivation for me. Thank you for that.

  2. GeminiXcX on said:

    Andrew,

    Is there any way you could restore the “awful women’s profiles” massive POF analysis thread that existed several years ago?

    Perhaps edit out the extreme comments that made you shut it down, and repost that old thread, but now closed to further comments.

    It was an masterpiece of insight into female dating-profiles — a gem that was unfortunately removed.

    Regards,
    -GXcX

  3. Southport, FL on said:

    Dear Tom,

    I click in most every day knowing there probably won’t be a new post but the few that appear are so insightful, thought provoking and helpful that I check anyway. So, request #1, more posts please.

    I am here after 30 years of a bad marriage which will be over soon. From yours and Red Pill type dating websites I picked up enough information to get women into bed but now I want to maintain a relationship for the long term. Request #2, after you’ve caught the modern 40 to 50 year old woman how do I keep her as wonderful as she was when I caught her (or she caught me – a bit fuzzy on that point in our relationship). I know about MMSL but it is your opinions and experiences I would like to hear.

    Your site looks at relationships for us older, experienced people but at times I feel like the women our age are just as flaky, hypergamic, and self-centered as the really cute 21 year old. Request #3, what are the shit tests, flakes, and general dating fitness testing we will be facing from older women and how best to counter those considering that these women do have serious career and life experience.

    Eventually I will probably settle down and get married again. I enjoy the thought of one woman to invest in, to invest in me and to start off on the grand adventure of life again. Request #4, pre-nups, dealing with her kids, planning finances, dealing with her ex, and maybe most importantly – marriage or living together forever.

    Thanks for asking our opinion. I always enjoy your posts.

  4. Excellent comment and excellent suggestions. Thanks for putting in specific requests and thanks for being a loyal reader. Such comments keep me going through my own difficult times.

    As I’m sure you know already, my posting schedule is rather haphazard. Some months there are more than a dozen posts, other months there are few and sometimes none.

    This is because my life is an up and down affair. When I post less, there’s usually a woman involved. Hey, I’m a guy! I like the dames and they distract me too much! There’s also that whole cancer thing… I can only roll one eye on that one.

    If I could pay an editor to go through my blog to tease out a book, I would do that. There are certainly enough posts and raw material.

    I’m grateful for readers and commenters like you, I really am.

  5. Dash Riprock on said:

    There aren’t too many red pill sites for we, ahem, men of a certain age. Yours is one of about three or four I read on a regular basis. I am not anytime soon going to be flying around the world to sarge women in Kazakhstan while making six figures selling designer wine corks on eBay. But if anyone needs the straight dope on how to effectively game the pre, post and smack dab in the midst of it menopausal women its men like me. And I bet our name is legion. That’s why I read you, Rollo and Athol and a couple of others. Keep up the good work.

  6. You should have a “20 latest comments” feature.

    One idea I had a couple of years ago, but didn’t develop further, and don’t see discussed anywhere in the ‘sphere, is that the Pareto principle also applies to women in the sexual marketplace, but in a different way. Namely that 20% of women receive 80% of all the male-to-female resource transfer taking place.

  7. Stacy on said:

    I am apparently an outlier when compared to your typical readership. I am a happily married (22 years) woman with four children from ages 7 to 16 in my late 40’s. I can’t remember how I stumbled across your blog but I think it was probably from a passing mention on Athol’s site.

    I’ve never walked into a room and been the most attractive or intelligent but I highly suspect that a large percentage of the time I might be the most curious. I’m a seeker at heart. This certainly has not made my life any easier. I’m interested in other people, ideas, philosophy, lifestyles, and just weird/ unusual things in general. Although, I suppose weird and unusual is self defined by individuals or by our culture to some degree.

    I have strong beliefs and I can articulate and defend them but I’ve never had any interest in converting anyone to evangelical Protestantism, a vegetarian / vegan diet, traditionalist blogs, Bernese Mountain dogs, or any of the other flotsam and jetsam that regularly passes through my brain.

    A few MRA blogs have joined the list of sites that I regularly read. I stopped watching TV years ago unless I’m on the treadmill and watching and walking at the same time.

    So why do I look forward to and read your blog entries? Well , primarily because you are an excellent writer. You communicate clearly with humor and I generally believe your worldview is correct. You give worthwhile advice that’s made me reconsider certain actions of my own. Our life experiences have been very different but it is sometimes profitable to examine issues through the eyes of another.

    To sum up I find your posts entertaining and informative. That makes you a rare find. I am sorry to hear of your disease progression. I hope that you will be around for a long long time. I work in the health care field and sometimes people do beat the odds . Why? I don’t know but no single course is predetermined especially with rare diseases where the data is sparse. I’ve had a few patients over the years that had unexplainable things occur not many but ones that I remember vividly even years later.

    An additional reason I read is that I find your advice concerning social isolation valuable. I’ve always been an introvert and life has reduced my social circle. I am incredibly busy around the house and I also work part-time 24-30 hours a week outside the home. I prefer to interact with my husband, kids, and a few close friends but old dogs can learn new tricks 🙂 and you’ve inspired me to be more outgoing and seek out groups (horrors!) of people to meet , network with and all that jazz.

    In fact, I did a meet-up this week of neighborhood moms at a local gourmet pizza bar. It wasn’t exactly a success but I did leave with a new appreciation for all those MRA dudes that typically strike me as … well a charitable word is cranky. Imagine a large table with young to middle aged moms that seemingly haven’t seen another adult in quite some time.

    Now give them alcohol. Not good, not good at all. A large percentage of the girls were drinking wine and gave our waitress a hard time because the pour wasn’t large enough. That didn’t have an effect so they sent a emissary to confront the bartender. The end result was a free glass of wine for each of them just to get them to be quiet and the bartender was forced to explain that they only pour to the bend in the glass because that’s exactly six ounces. I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want the wait staff to think I was endorsing the behavior of these bozos! There is a Trader Joe’s less than 100 yards from the restaurant they’ll sale you a bottle for under $5! I ended up making an excuse and leaving early. That’s okay I’ll try something else another time.

    If you keep writing and posting I will most definitely keep reading .

    Best Wishes

  8. Richard Cranium on said:

    It’s a great niche you’re filling. There’s so many guys that are newly separated/divorced that are in their late 30’s/early 40’s that have been out of the dating game for 15-20 years and have no idea of the total paradigm shift that’s taken place in the dating world and are in need of solid advice in how to navigate the minefield that is Dating 2.0.

    Plus you come from a position of experience and not just speculation and projection like many other so-called “gurus.”You’ve “been there, done that” unlike a lot of the younger “bros.”

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