The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

A Man’s “Edge” Factor

So many times I have read this in a woman’s online dating profile:

“I’m looking for a nice guy with an edge.”

#Facepalm with the tired cliche but I’ll run with it.

This should actually read:

“I’m attracted [want to have sex with] to a guy with an edge who also happens to be nice to me but not everyone else because of his edge.”

There are two things going on here. The first is the “edge”. This is woman-speak for bad boy. Here are some of the things that give a man the edge, some are age-related (in no particular order):

  • Tattoos (really?! Yeah, really. #facepalm)
  • Motorcycles (or, insert any dangerous motorsports activity here but motorcycles are best)
  • Willingness to take risks – physical or financial – NOT emotional
  • Masculine emotional intensity (think the brooding and aloof creative artist, not the overly sensitive guys too willing to be in touch with their feminine side)
  • Muscles… very obvious muscles (says the guy with the arms of a gibbon)
  • Outcome independence
  •  Ability to overcome adversity (says the guy with an eyeball lost to cancer and still going on with life. Yeah, boasting. Top that, motherfuckers!)
  • Attractiveness to other women
  • Social confidence in any situation

Hell, here is another list that speaks verily to this.

Note that money and affluence don’t necessarily make for a man’s edge. Such things are about security for a woman and not necessarily about a man’s attractiveness. But do bear in mind that women too easily conflate security with attractiveness. They can’t help themselves in this regard, it’s wired into their DNA. This goes especially for post-divorce women who have not prepared for the future.

If a man with money and affluence yet lacks that “edge”, he is merely buying a woman with gifts, trips, and her ability to brag to her friends about how “generous” he is. This is particularly pronounced here in South Florida but is manifested in different ways in different cities. South Florida is not Kansas City and I know this.

A man must develop his edge. Such development must be done for himself, not merely to attract the dames. Women aren’t stupid, they know when a man is working on himself solely to please them. That kind of thing is supplication, pure and simple. Women despise that.

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15 thoughts on “A Man’s “Edge” Factor

  1. Being a mass murderer seems to be an effective edge. Look at the women who are hot for guys they wouldn’t look at twice before they killed a bunch of people.

    Not a strategy that works for me, but there’s no denying it works.

    • It seems that women are especially hot for guys who have serially (and violently) murdered other women. Go figure. Then again, I guess that if you’re a serial murderer, it would make perfect sense for you to hook up with a batshit crazy woman.

  2. Good article — In my experience, the Man with the sharpest edge is one who has faced, and wrestled with, his own demons. My favourite kind of edge comes from spiritual scar-tissue, from having been transformed through struggle.

  3. Browneye on said:

    And facial hair…don’t forget that. It’s all the rage these days, even I got sucked into it. And unshaven, with or without the beard. Why they like that scruffy look and feel is pretty silly, but it’s there.

    Also, a man that is virile. He needs to be able to get it up or he’s just washed up. He needs to give her orgasms. Hopefully her heightened desire assists there…some of them are downright frigid. Also helps if she can do herself.

    These aren’t always LTR’s, sometimes it’s just a fling for awhile. Especially if he’s not affluent.

  4. Love this! As a men’s coach, this is something I come across all the time. I have written and spoke quite a bit about “nice guy” vs “bad boy” and helping men to reject the whole notion entirely.

  5. Richard Cook on said:

    Fuck this list and fuck that game. MGTOW.

    • Johnny on said:

      I guess, but I’m not a homo and I have desired to procreate. As do most MGTOW who still chase women via Craigslist dumpster diving, looking at their forums. Mabe they will learn to choose better….maybe.

  6. rugby11ljh on said:

    This was awsome I love motorcycles.

    • WhatsNew on said:

      + Fuck this list and fuck that game. MGTOW.

      It is not a game, it is “sexual selection”, a darwinian concept.

      A woman who has sons who are emotionless, charming players who fuck around a lot, like their (genetic) father, will outbreed other women through those sons, and therefore sexual selection will give a strong advantage to women who feel an overwhelming urge (the “gina tingle”) to find and get fucked by emotionless charming players who don’t invest in her.

      The “gina tingle” is thus so powerful that it makes it very difficult for women to exercise free will as to mating choices.

      And this is for most women a problem because the type of man who gives her sons that maximize the *genetic* outcome of her investment in bearing and raising sons is also the type of man least suited to give her a happy and prosperous life by maximizing the *personal* outcome of that investment.

      Her *personal* (as opposed to *genetic*) benefit is realized by having sons who like their father are hard working dutiful bores who are loyal and committed to her and her welfare only.

      Unfortunately most women don’t realize this until menopause, when the “gina tingling” fathers and sons have long disappeared because the are emotionless, uncaring players. Because before menopause the power of the “gina tingle” drives them so hard.

      Therefore in the past tens of thousands of year most societies have been rules by the matriarchy (not the patriarchy!), by the interests of elderly, post-menopausal matrons, who have repressed and confined the sexual instinct of their daughters so that they would marry loyal, hardworking (and thus shorter lived) men and had from them loyal, hardworking sons to make them materially comfortable, especially in their old age, with widowhood hopefully happening as soon as possible.

      This matriarchal repression implied that women were forced by their mothers and grandmothers via arranged marriages or relentless pressure to mate with sexually repulsive dutiful bores in marriages of convenience. But as those mothers and grandmothers would say, “just lie back and think of England”, or rather of being a well off widow supported by well off sons.

      So if you think that the current “game” is bad for you as a man, try to imagine how bad it is for women themselves, who realize that they largely lack free will as to mating choices, and the men who turn them on most are *necessarily* those who are least loyal to them.

  7. WhatsNew on said:

    ++ Attractiveness to other women

    That is actually the key, every other characteristic is based on that.

    What women really get turned on by is a man who can get charm and get laid with hotter women than her, and who does not care about any of them, but pumps and dumps every one of them.

    Since a woman usually don’t know exactly how a man is doing with other women she takes his attitude to herself as a sign: if he can hardly be bothered to fuck her, and is only interested in fucking her, and invests nothing in her, that implies that he has other options, his other options are better than her, and he never gets attached to any of them.

    Summarizing what women get turned on by is a man out of their league (as our blogger wrote the key is 2 SMV difference) in popularity for whom they are the least attractive option that they can still be bothered to pump and dump.

    I have realized that this is because they want their sons to be like that, because sons who are good at charming and fucking and leaving many women are going to give her the most grandchildren, outbreeding other women’s sons, and the best way to have sons like that is to get fucked by a potential father like that.

    The gina tingle happens when a woman thinks “I would want to have sons like him”, and the sons she wants to have are emotionless, charming, players.

    Note: it also implies that women don’t quite have a preference between emotionless charmers and monogamous bores as when they are not fertile or for having daughters, and indeed research seems to support that.

  8. WhatsNew on said:

    +++ “nice guy” vs “bad boy” and helping men
    +++ to reject the whole notion entirely.

    That’s seems correct, as I have noticed that the typical woman doesn’t get turned on by “bad” men, but rather by men who, having better options than her, are mostly indifferent to her except for sex. Men who don’t invest in her and don’t get attached to her “signal” that they are winners at getting laid with many hotter women and not getting stuck with any of them (and like father, hopefully, like son).

    But! A significant minority of women do specifically get turned on by men with “bad” attitudes, rather than merely uncaring opportunistic attitudes.

    I suspect because for long stretches of the past men of power and wealth capable of fathering many sons and giving them an inheritance making them also powerful and wealthy were on average violent, cunning brutes who succeeded at taking what they wanted by hook or crook.

    Explanation: feudal lords and knights were in essence gangsters running a protection racket on their territories.

  9. WhatsNew on said:

    For a tl;dr:

    #1 the edge of a “man with an edge” is his demonstrated potential to give a woman sons who are charming and detached and therefore are going to be able and want to be “players” fucking casually a lot of women thus spreading her genetic legacy to many grandchildren, and a man demonstrates that potential by behaving like that himself.

    #2 When he demonstrates that potential a woman’s gina tingles violently and her free will is almost overwhelmed by the desire to have many opportunities to bear his sons, and those opportunities also usually give her the hottest sex.

    #3 The ideal genetic strategy for a woman is to have sons from 2-3 different men with that potential for giving her “player” sons, to spread risks, and to have her childbearing paid for for by a committed dullard whom she marries for convenience, but with whom sex is quite disgusting to her, as her instinct tells her that his sons would be like him.

    The underlying logic is the sexual selection pressure of having sons that are going to maximize the number of grandchildren she has given her huge investment in bearing and raising those sons.

  10. Reminds me of a Doors song
    Women seem wicked…when you are unwanted

  11. Tingles uber alles!

  12. Hamster Tamer on said:

    Wow, just wow… right here on this one comment page is every reason necessary to repeal the 19th Amendment… Five Millennia of Informed Patriarchy can’t be wrong!

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