The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

The Sexiest Part Of A Man’s Body

Note: Several twitter account links are included because I likes me some Twitter. Get yourselves some Twitter and follow me… @man_private

I follow about 1,100 accounts on Twitter. There’s a lot of political and cultural chatter that I take an interest in but rarely re-tweet or respond to with my own tweet(s). I do actively follow younger PUA (Pick Up Artist) guys because some of them are quite good at distilling solid attractive advice for men into cogent tweets. Here’s a great example from BE A PICKUP ARTIST;) @PUA_DATING_TIPS:

Pushovers are wussy, betas who don’t believe they deserve better treatment. GROW A SPINE. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF (with this photo attached).


Scoundrel ‏@ScoundrelBlog Responded with:

What’s the sexiest part of a man’s body?

His spine!

This, in spades. A man’s figurative backbone is the foundation of his confidence. Without that confidence, his attractiveness to women is at its nadir. Do note that I’m not a big fan of the whole alpha/beta binary. Masculine attractiveness is on a scale and is also contextual based on the current social situation, even unrelated to being attractive to women.

This twitter interchange brings us over to the world of professional dating coaches. Bobbi Palmer ‏@BobbiPal – who’s customer base is 100% women – asks:

What is one thing that a man can do that would totally surprise you in today’s world?

My response was this:

Show some backbone. The sexiest part of a man’s body is his spine.

Yes, she was asking that of her overwhelmingly female twitter following but I couldn’t resist because Bobbi is a clever person and knows good information when she reads it.

This is all theory for many guys, I know. Theory without practical steps is useless. So, here are some concrete steps for a man to follow. Yes, I covered this before but it always bears repeating.

  1. Never ask for a date. State that you will have the date. “I’m enjoying this conversation/correspondence, we’re going to have a date.” The follow-up to that is that you plan and execute the date. Don’t make it fancy! Spending so much money on the first date is too much of a risk, for the man and woman alike.
  2. Stand up straight, look the part, and dress one level up from all the other guys. This is not that difficult. Post-divorce guys can easily adopt a classic, masculine style of dress without looking like a fey hipster. In fact, any man over a certain age shouldn’t be trying to dress like some 20-something unless it’s a classic look. As well, men over a certain tend to be heavier and must dress to deal with that. It sickens me to see middle-age guys dress like slobs because it’s “comfortable”. Hell, it sickens me even more to women dress like for the same stupid rationalization.
  3. Work on social skills. The first part of this is actually leaving the house and having an enthusiasm that actually involves being social. This does not mean hanging out in the local dive bar or hanging out at the local lodge. This means getting out of one’s social comfort zone occasionally and then having action social interactions with new people. Keep the politics out of such conversations. If you’re perceived as being a an uninformed political blowhard, you’re relationship goals will never be met. And, I’ll track you down and bitch slap you. If you have a political opinion, just shut up about it in public.
  4. Learn some charisma. This is the hard part. This requires being clever verbally and understanding how a conversation ebbs and flows. There are no easy lessons for this except practice, practice, practice. Even us older guys can figure this out. But see the previous listing as a start. As well, watching ordinary TV sit-coms is a good way to see witty social interplay in action. Note the pacing and inflection in the voices. Emulate that. Back to point one, a man willing to dress better than all the other guys around him is a clear and obvious statement of confidence.

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11 thoughts on “The Sexiest Part Of A Man’s Body

  1. Heh, I thought the answer was going to be a non-metaphorical one and was expecting to see “penis”. A post about men liking their most sacred of parts would’ve been nice, actually.

    When it was obvious you weren’t talking about physical aspects, I was expecting to see something about “manners”. Things like;
    Don’t interrupt other speakers.
    Don’t order for your date.
    Don’t talk about politics/religion till you know each other better.
    Don’t dress like a slob (stained shirts, holes in pants, etc.)
    Don’t make fun of others.
    So on, so forth…

    However, it would seem “confidence” is indeed the backbone to each of these when you consider it. If someone is confident in themselves, they won’t need to act like an egotistical blowhard or put other people down to build up their own image.

    Good advice as usual, PM.
    Only question is in regards to #1: Why not just go dutch, and alleviate the cost to each party?

    • In answer to your question (re #1) I refer you to the restaurant scene in the 1968 Clint Eastwood classic “Coogan’s Bluff” (caution, paraphrasing ahead).

      As she takes out her purse to pay for her half of the meal…

      Coogan: What do you think you’re doing?
      Her: It’s OK, we’ll go Dutch.
      Coogan: You’re a girl aren’t you?
      Her: There are rumours to that effect, yes.
      Coogan: Well why don’t you just sit back there and act like one?

      Coogan pays the bill.

      Women should always be reminded that they are the weaker sex and need a man to take care of them, otherwise they start getting ideas. Hold doors open for them, give up your seat to a pregnant woman (actually, that should be done anyway), take the coat from your date when you enter a restaurant and pull out her chair.

      It’s little things like this that will eventually encourage her to act more feminine, and that’s something everyone can enjoy.

      • I cannot tell if you’re serious or not…

      • Yeah, it seems almost sockpuppetish. This is the first comment from this particular reader.

      • Yeah, it’s a weird comment for your blog, PM. I’m not saying that this guy is a poe or sockpuppet, since there definitely are hyper-chivalrous/traditional guys in the manosphere. However, the way it’s phrased gave me pause. Just seems…off.

      • I’m not a sock puppet, I promise you, I just don’t comment very often so I’m not familiar with the protocol. Apologies if my tone and turn of phrase seems `off` in any way but I have a very dry sense of humour that a lot of people don’t quite get.

        I started out with the quote from Coogan’s Bluff in response to Tarnished’s use of the phrase `go Dutch`. If you want to talk about backbone and confidence, watch that film. The things he says and does in that film may be admirable to some and reprehensible to others but the confidence with which he does them is very impressive.

        The rest of the post was just me being semi-serious. It can be safely ignored.

      • Okay, that seems logical.
        Which parts were you semi-serious about?
        Unfortunately, certain types of humor don’t translate well into written word…

  2. Olivia Stocum on said:

    My husband will take me out and treat me like a princess, or wait on me here and there (like on my birthday) BUT I find that if he makes a habit of it, I start to doubt his ability to lead me and then I will subconsciously test him to see if he can still protect me–even from myself. When he pulls me aside and gives me a few words of warning (not yelling, mind you) it resets me. I breathe a huge sigh of relief, and I can rest knowing he’s still the MAN. (Yes, I’ve lost girlfriends because of this. It’s not cool in the womansphere, but what are friends who come and go to the man who stands my you year after year?) Other woman want me to be strong and self aware (ie self serving) and I get dirty looks for letting HIM wear the pants. My dad is strong leader, so maybe I naturally gravitate to it… or maybe it’s just the way it is… and probably has been since the beginning. Who knows. But I will definitely test him if he dose not assert some authority.

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