There’s a discussion going on amongst the “Olds” The discussion centers on courtship and the lack thereof. Matt Walsh fired off a blog post exhorting men to be better at courtship. Evan Marc Katz did much the same with one of his blog posts. The chivalry guy focuses a lot of his writing on courtship. As an old myself, it’s my turn to enter the discussion. Let’s keep it simple. If you’re under 30 and pre-marriage/LTR, courtship for you is dead. There are no rules, there’s pickup artistry (PUA) for the guys and sex-positivity for the girls. Relationships and sexuality for the youngs is a tinder-fueled bonfire of the vanities. My readers should breathe a sigh of relief for not being young anymore.
If you’re re-entering dating after divorce and you’re over 35 or so, we now have Courtship Lite!. The ritualistic courtship of yore (think 1950s) is well dead. It’s pointless to analyze why it’s dead because my readers already know why. In its place are simple guidelines for having good dates. CourtshipLite!® goes something like this:
1. Man and women start to communicate – face to face or via online dating.
2. A potential connection is made.
3. Man states (he never asks!) that he and the woman are doing to have a date.
4. She agrees.
5. The man plans a simple and modestly creative date and coordinates the schedule with her so the date is made.
6. The date happens. Attraction increases, comfort is established. A good time is had by both.
7. Repeat steps 5 and 6 until relationship goals are met or the two stop dating because, well, whatever.
Courtship Lite!® rejects grand and chivalrous gestures, fancy meals, or expensive gifts. It’s actually a pretty good system because it focuses on the two people making a connection. Dating is about the man and woman, not lists of requirements or lists of personal attributes. It should be a fun and relaxed experience. Those seven steps provide just enough structure without being too rigid. This also allows the man to take the lead in the dating process.
It’s unfortunate that Evan Marc Katz doesn’t have more men as clients because he is very realistic and very diplomatic. But men are generally unwilling to seek direct help. The dating coach industrial complex is powered by Estrogen!® So, frustrated men turn to the Internet and find the Manosphere and blogs like mine as they look for solutions to make dating easier.