The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Bad Date Stories

We’ve all heard the stories of bad date stories. Put some post-divorce singles in a room and it takes about a nanosecond for the bad date stories to emerge. A few of us have lived through the bad dates and have lived to tell the stories. Such tales fall into several archetypes and can apply to both sexes:

  • No physical match with the online dating profile – shorter, fatter, older
  • No personality – boring, couldn’t hold a conversation
  • Aggressive – too loud, too sexual, too angry, too opinionated, too hung up on the ex-spouse(s).
  • Distracted – always checking the phone, couldn’t focus on the other person
  • Cheap/Greedy – expected an expensive restaurant, wouldn’t pay
  • Stood Up – no show with no notice, cancelled at last minute, way too late

Most singles doing the dating thing worry about having a bad date. Women, especially so because of their natural and constant low-level concern about their own safely. But frankly, it’s an unnecessary anxiety because bad dates are actually the exception for us ordinary post-divorce singles. Most dates are usually pretty good, if ultimately uneventful. A date is simply giving a man and a woman the opportunity to meet, see if there is a connection, and hopefully have some fun in the process.

Good date stories are usually not told because something relatively uneventful is simply not news. The only time we hear good date stories is when a relationship goal is met – exclusive relationship, fun night (sexy time!), or something else.

It’s the singles on the fringe of personality and behavior who should worry about having consistently bad dates and the accompanying unfortunate stories. If most of your dates are “bad”, you’re likely on that very fringe and need to adjust accordingly. Perhaps you need the services of a good dating coach, try here or here. Or maybe you need the services of a psychological professional.

To my readers and commenters, please don’t comment with a bad date story, no matter how bad the date was. Honestly, I will moderate out those bad date stories. I want to hear about good dates where a good time was had by both parties involved but maybe not with passionate sparks and nookie in the car. I’ve had plenty of dates where the woman and I had a good time but it was clear that a romantic connection or sexual encounter was not in the cards.

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4 thoughts on “Bad Date Stories

  1. Pingback: Bad Date Stories |

  2. someguy302004 on said:

    PM, I really appreciate your emphasis on the positive, rather than the negative.
    I tried helping a chubby 30 year old female friend of my niece (a longtime family friend) find a boyfriend using your “name one thing good about every man” technique, but she repeatedly balked at this. She’s a 30 year old virgin, but won’t settle in any way whatsoever.

  3. Wow, no good date stories yet. I’ll start.

    I was contacted by a woman on and we exchanged a few emails before I pitched a date. She wants to talk on the phone first, so I called her and we chatted for a few minutes and we set the date & location for the date. Let’s call her Mary, not her real name.

    A few days later, I arrive at the bar am surprised to find that my room-mate and a buddy are there having a beer. I chat with them for a bit but before I can disengage Mary arrives. She looks pretty much like her photos. We get a table and a couple of drinks and start chatting. She is obviously nervous, I’m relaxed and having fun. My room-mate sends over a drink for us, I joked about him being my chaperone. She starts to relax and I see the attraction growing in her eyes. She comments in how confident I sounded on the phone, not what she was expecting.

    My typical first date plan is to have a drink & chat for an hour, then conclude the date. But I was having fun, and Mary was so obviously captivated by me that I changed my plans. We left the bar and walked to the Dave & Buster’s (upscale arcade) to shoot some pool. We are holding hands and she’s leaning in to me. We wander through D&B but all the pool tables are full.

    So we bounce to a local country music club about 10 minutes away. We have a few drinks and shoot some pool. I try to teach her the two-step and we dance for a while.

    After an couple of hours, I take her back to her car to say goodnight. She’s really into me, holding me close and I can see that she’s got some internal conflict going on. Conflict between wanting to sleep with me now, and not doing so on the first date. I resolve that conflict by giving her a kiss goodnight and putting her in her car.

    We are still seeing each other regularly and it’s been 7 months. And she continues to be enormously attracted to me. Life is good.

  4. someguy302004 on said:

    Ok. Here’s my good date story:
    At some point in the date -second drink, perhaps -date’s friends happen to appear.we all move to dance floor. I get introduced, flirt/ chat with female friends, let my date chat with other female friends.
    I motion my date over to me, telling her that we should have another drink. I make a point of pulling away from the crowd to a separate room and on a small couch (a private party at the bar, it turns out–but I shooed that 20 something away with a “yeah, yeah, ., whatever”). I immediately kissed her passionately a few times and then told her that we should say goodbye to her friends.

    I took her home to my apt, poured two glasses of wine, fooled around on my couch with her, and upon slight LMR, I just stood up and dropped my pants and underwear, and she smirks, saying, “yeah..,alright…”

    This ended up being a five or six month no strings attached, twice a week, on and on til dawn thing.

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