The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “May 11, 2014”

Bad Date Stories

We’ve all heard the stories of bad date stories. Put some post-divorce singles in a room and it takes about a nanosecond for the bad date stories to emerge. A few of us have lived through the bad dates and have lived to tell the stories. Such tales fall into several archetypes and can apply to both sexes:

  • No physical match with the online dating profile – shorter, fatter, older
  • No personality – boring, couldn’t hold a conversation
  • Aggressive – too loud, too sexual, too angry, too opinionated, too hung up on the ex-spouse(s).
  • Distracted – always checking the phone, couldn’t focus on the other person
  • Cheap/Greedy – expected an expensive restaurant, wouldn’t pay
  • Stood Up – no show with no notice, cancelled at last minute, way too late

Most singles doing the dating thing worry about having a bad date. Women, especially so because of their natural and constant low-level concern about their own safely. But frankly, it’s an unnecessary anxiety because bad dates are actually the exception for us ordinary post-divorce singles. Most dates are usually pretty good, if ultimately uneventful. A date is simply giving a man and a woman the opportunity to meet, see if there is a connection, and hopefully have some fun in the process.

Good date stories are usually not told because something relatively uneventful is simply not news. The only time we hear good date stories is when a relationship goal is met – exclusive relationship, fun night (sexy time!), or something else.

It’s the singles on the fringe of personality and behavior who should worry about having consistently bad dates and the accompanying unfortunate stories. If most of your dates are “bad”, you’re likely on that very fringe and need to adjust accordingly. Perhaps you need the services of a good dating coach, try here or here. Or maybe you need the services of a psychological professional.

To my readers and commenters, please don’t comment with a bad date story, no matter how bad the date was. Honestly, I will moderate out those bad date stories. I want to hear about good dates where a good time was had by both parties involved but maybe not with passionate sparks and nookie in the car. I’ve had plenty of dates where the woman and I had a good time but it was clear that a romantic connection or sexual encounter was not in the cards.

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