Gentlemen, Let’s Talk Body Hair And Its Removal
“Manscaping” is a real thing. It gets far more important with age because for many men hair does weird things with age. For example, if you sneeze and your nostril hair comes shooting forth like hirsute fireworks or a disgusting party favor, you have a problem.
Have you seen your ears recently? Of course you haven’t. You’ve got errant hairs there, too. In fact, your body is likely a terrible combination of sasquatch and a porcupine. I empathize. I truly do. The local drug store has some excellent battery-powered devices to help you with nose and ear hair. Buy those devices and use them. They are cheap enough to toss away once the blades get dull.
We will start from the top and move north. The hair on your head likely requires some attention. A good barber will help. If you’re losing your head dome hair, give serious consideration to a buzz cut or shaving it off. Bald is in. If you even think about a comb-over, have a good friend slap you hard in the face. Twice. If you are blessed to have a full head of hair (I hate you for that, by the way), get a good haircut. The 70s, 80s, and 90s are well behind us so you new hairstyle should reflect modern styling but is age appropriate. If you’re over 40, a metrosexual hairstyle will get you another two slaps to the face.
Moving south, let’s address your neck and facial hair. The back of your neck will need attention. You’d be surprised at how much that neck hair can grow. The tough part is fixing it. Your barber can tend to it nicely but there might be some routine maintenance required. This is where you need some tools of the trade and a close female friend come in handy. Since your hair is tough, the standard drug store hair trimming tools are mostly not up the task. Go to a Sally beauty supply store and invest in a professional quality hair trimmer. It’s not cheap. Expect to pay at least $70. Thankfully, you can buy new blades.
A beard is a cool thing to have. While women might claim to hate facial hair, those are only words. Wear your beard with pride. Do bear in the mind that even facial hair must come in moderation. ZZ Top and the Duck Dynasty crew can happily sport full beards because they have other attributes to make up for their long facial hair. You don’t have those attributes. Keep the facial hair trimmed and neat.
As we continue to move south, it’s time to address a part of a man’s body that requires the most manscaping, the back. Because I live on the beach, being shirtless is common. A hairy back is not pleasant. Worse, it’s hard for a man to tend to his back hair conveniently. There are some products to help and but a good back back trim and shave really does require a second person. That hair trimmer from Sally can be just as effective on the back as it is on the head. Using a razor takes all the hair off but can be considered optional, if a bit itchy.
There are professional solutions to dealing with the back hair. Laser treatment and waxing are available. As I’ve not well researched these two options so I will let my readers do their own research. I will say that waxing is a painful option. I tried it. I won’t try it again.
As for chest hair, knock it back. You needn’t shave it off, just keep it under control. This you can do yourself with that professional hair trimmer and one of the guards or adjustments to the blade depth. Technically speaking, back and chest hair is fur. Once it grows to a certain length, it stops growing. You’re not a sheep requiring regular shearing. But still, chest hair and back hair can get unweildy as a man gets older.
Moving further south, things get rather awkward. It’s time to talk pubic hair. Here in south Florida, men trim and shave “down there”. Yup, we’re talking shaving you’re twig and berries. Some years ago, the good folks at Norelco actually started an ad campaign promoting the “optical inch”. That’s the extra bit of penile visibility when the pubic hair is shaved off. Yes, it is possible to use a regular razor once the pubic hair has been trimmed back with the clippers. There’s an added bonus to shaved pubes as reported by several women I know. There are no extraneous hairs to complicate oral sex.
Once the initial manscaping has been accomplished, regular maintenance is required. If you’ve shaved your own head, continue to do so or see the barber if your hair is fuller. Beard maintenance is not that hard. A good scissors and the trimmer will help. Watch the mustache length. Pubic and chest hair can be handled regularly. Only the back hair presents the most challenge. With creative use of dual mirrors and a back shaver, maintenance can be done on your own. It’s not easy.
For you young guys reading this, I’m sure you’re scratching your heads and then dreading the impending body hair of doom. Don’t fret too much because it can be dealt with.