The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “July 21, 2013”

Merciless, Yet Casual Cynicism

When new readers emerge and send me emails, I am always pleased. New voices and fresh perspective are necessary for any school of thought such as Red Pill thinking. It’s even more important to have honest dissent because without dissent, that school of thought becomes a blind, dogmatic ideology where only voices of agreement are allowed. As a side note, I ignore personal insults and general mockery because those are the arguments used by children.

For a dating advice blog, PM, you fail because of all the cynicism about women and dating and attraction. A man who follows your ridiculous advice is being put in a manipulative position. You paint women as child-like and unable to resist manipulation by guys with any type of charisma. And why do you capitalize that word in all your posts? That’s ridiculous too. It’s like a cult in here.

I don’t know if a man or woman wrote this email. Frankly, it really doesn’t matter because in honest logic and rationality, the messenger is mostly irrelevant. It’s the message that must be addressed. However, it should be pointed out that I was never attacked personally.

I won’t disagree with the cynicism. It’s quite merciless. Knowing the truth about attraction and relationships, it’s always easy – and usually correct – to size up a situation between a man and a woman and accurately predict the outcome. Such accurate predictions are almost heretical to “conventional” wisdom because this shows that people – especially in the context of attraction, dating, and relationships – are very predictable. But we’re not all special snowflakes, after all. We can easily generalize about human behavior. If this is interpreted as cynicism. So be it.

What is considered manipulative by most is actually a series of logical actions and behaviors in order to achieve one’s goals regarding another. This really does take the shine off romance and courtship and is completely opposed to a romantic ideal that is criminally wrong when attempted into today’s environment of Dating 2.0. A man must know how to truthfully deal with contemporary women and not be met with failure after failure. What the writer calls manipulative, I call common sense.

The accusation that I consider women “child-like” I had to think about and then re-read some of my older posts.  If the email writer is connecting “child-like” as to responding only to emotions, the writer does have a point but bear in mind that I’m writing about attraction and dating. These two things bring up all sorts of emotions in women. They write about it constantly in the single women blogs. I read it in their profiles. I have talked to many, many women about this issue and emotion is the primary theme. It’s all about how they feel about attraction and dating.

Is this child-like? Maybe for younger women in the throes of new feelings about a new guy. For women over a certain age? It’s hardly child-like because these women (hopefully) have a degree of emotional self-control. Also, the email writer might be assuming that I agree with the bloggers and commenters who flat out claim that women are nothing more than big children because of their lack of emotional self control and their solely emotional reactions. I’m not those guys and they are not me. Don’t make assumptions. In certain contexts, grown woman can be child-like. In other contexts, they be just as logical and rational as men.

I capitalize Charisma because it’s that important for guys to have. It’s a social skill set that is on the wane because of men’s social isolation and lack of practice. You can blame technology for much of that. Charisma can be learned and practiced. Red Pill/Manosphere stuff has been accused of being cult-like. Of course, if it were a cult, we’d have much more face-to-face interactions and a Charismatic leader. No, it’s too diffuse to be a cult. Few of us have actually met and no one has stepped up to be a leader, certainly not me.

Keep those emails coming.

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