The Private Man

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Archive for the day “July 10, 2013”

Men Are Bitter And Angry And That’s Awesome

After reading one too many Red Pill blogs, a female friend texted me:

I need a break from all this Red Pill stuff. Some it makes a lot of sense but a lot of it is starting to carry the stench of anger, bitterness, judgment, and just downright meanness.

She’s right.

I cannot apologize for those things because such negativity is a perfectly natural reaction from a generation of men betrayed on a massive level. It is the betrayal by society telling lies about almost everything that a man experiences in his life.  The vast breadth and depth of the lies went relatively unnoticed for a couple of generations. But with the internet, guys can now communicate about social issues (the lies) amongst themselves and women can digitally eavesdrop.

Here are some of those examples of those lies:

“Be nice, be yourself”

“Man up! (to do a woman’s bidding)”

“Women don’t do those kind of things”

“Work hard and sacrifice”

“Be more in touch with your emotions and express them more”

“Never, ever judge a woman”

In days or yore, these were not lies. These statements were about a valid social expectation where a man could expect to be rewarded for following those expectations. The rewards were typically respect and a relationship with a woman. But at some point in our social history those rewards became less and less. Regardless, men still soldiered on. They manned up. They hoped the pretty lies were true. They didn’t know the social contract between the genders was broken (link below).

Though it was slow, men started to figure out that something was rotten in Denmark. Ever increasing numbers of men began the process of learning that they had been betrayed by the pretty lies of cancerous social expectations. The Internet allowed men to communicate with each other. Men discovered common themes and common, shared experiences. The men discovered that they weren’t alone.

The men got angry, very angry. You want some anger? Read M3’s legendary post about being involuntarily celibate for 12 years (link below). That’s righteous and justifiable rage. In their expression of anger, a lot of ornery meanness came out. It’s still coming out as is witnessed in blog posts and the comments in blog posts. I say good for that. This is part of the grieving process (link below). The problem is that as new men enter the Red Pill pipeline, they go through the anger phase. This means that any Manosphere blog will always have a number of men expressing anger and bitterness in the comments.

What’s not noticed is the number of guys who have worked their way to acceptance and no longer write from anger. They are too busy improving themselves to let anger side track them. This can be seen in Manosphere blogs. They start from anger and, over time, mature into something else or quietly fade away because the blogger has realized that his anger has subsided and so has his motivation to write. Of course there will be a small and vocal minority of perpetually pissed off men and they can be mean as snakes. These guys get the attention because they are the exceptions. It’s part of our human nature to notice and call out the exceptions. But the exception does not make the rule.

The reason the anger is so awesome is because it means that men are seeing how social expectations are ruining life for them. The anger is the proper reaction to “Wait, I was lied to all these years?!”. Damned right he gets angry and bitter. He’s supposed to because he realized that he was getting fucked.

The Broken Gender Social Contract

Confessions Of An Involuntary Celibate

Stages Of Loss And Grief

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