The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Please Vent About Valentines Day

I’m giving the opportunity for my readers to unleash their feelings about this thoroughly awkward and potentially disastrous day for men. Say anything you want. Curse or praise the day, I don’t care and I won’t censor (unless one of my blog haters makes a comment).

Spleens, vent on!

If I get a truly exceptional comment(s), I’ll feature it in tomorrow’s blog post. Spelling counts.


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87 thoughts on “Please Vent About Valentines Day

  1. Are you kidding? This day is glorious. It punishes all men who were dumb enough to get into a relationship.

    They have to find a restaurant that isn’t booked up with reservations, buy flowers at 1000% above normal market price, write some stupid poetry, give her some candy that is going to go right to her muffin top and get all dressed up to do it.

    You mean I don’t have to do any of that?!?!? SCORE!

    And for Game tactics, I’m pretty sure that if you were to get some of those kiddie Valentine cards from Walmart, put candy heart in it and dangle one in front of a lonely girl who didn’t get a Valentine, you could game her to trade her panties for it.

    • infantry on said:

      I spent my valentines day paying for dinner with a lovely girl who was very much worth it. No regrets.

    • A Man For All Seasons on said:

      I took my wife to the shooting range for Valentine’s, then grilled steaks at home. I figured I’d pick things I wanted to do, then tell her that’s what we’re doing.

  2. Middle Aged Male on said:

    Been married 20 years. Bought Mrs. MAM the Mr. and Mrs. Potatohead 60th Anniversary set. She loved it. Cost less than 20.00.

  3. The last two Valentine’s Days I made plans for supper (both torpedoed), bought flowers (which ended up in the trash), and bought jewelry (which has never been worn). My wife’s attitude was that we don’t get along during the rest of the year, why celebrate Valentine’s Day. This year, I didn’t do any of that. I’m not even going home after work. I’m going to my son’s out of town basketball game. That decision isn’t popular with my wife either, but I feel good about it.

    • Hamster Tamer on said:

      Good on ya! Should probably have at least one I’m not even going home after work. night (aka Poker/T-bar Night w/ The Guys) per week. Wiff and kids will survive.

  4. Happy Vagina worship day……seriously wtf, every damn card is $5, no big deal unless you have to buy 9 of them and accompany them with gifts….ROAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. I’d be fine with V-day existing so long as there were a BJ-day that was honored.

  6. We’ve never celebrated VD. In college we were both in the service industry, so VD meant $$ to us, nothing more. The only thing I did for The Day today is wear tiny pink panties with red trim 😀

    • @Temptest – pretty sure pics are required to back an assertion of this nature.

      • Hamster Tamer on said:

        Absolutely. Crop or ‘shop face and identifying tats and you’re still a discrete and gentle lady. 😉 It’s like when I have to provide wise counsel to the young damsels, who are all miffed and indignant about being “wolf-whistled” at some construction site. I tell them “You know… I’ve reached the age where you may consider me a time-traveler from YOUR future… and I’m here to tell you… it’s gonna bother you much more… when it STOPS.” 😯

    • Well, really, who celebrates VD outside of the pharmaceutical industry?

  7. It’s never been a big deal with the wife, even when she was my girlfriend, so I don’t get too worked up. I buy a card I can make obnoxious and occasionally throw in a gift along the lines of a Barry White CD. VD is a good test for those interested in relationships or marriage. If she expects it to be a big deal, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Or it’s time to cut out.

    • Hamster Tamer on said:

      At least that’s one place I stood up to the then-wiff, and even when she was the fiance’, she understood that HER VDay was the second Sunday after Feb. 14th… made her mark it on the calender. Ignored her loud exhaling and eye-rolling… let her hamster deal with the other “look what I got” office hens.

      Plus it was about half a year from her b’day, for limited entitlement programming. If only I’d “known” about Steak and a BJ Day. 😦

  8. bag’o’skittles

  9. I hate the puffed up expectations. She’s got to have a card and a gift, and cards and gifts for the kids. It’s stupid. A kid gets a gift for every G–damn holiday: President’s day, V-Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Ash Wednesday, Easter, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas?

    It’s a stupid Hallmark holiday, like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.

    I have always liked Ian Ironwood’s take on this. If she gets Valentine’s Day/card and gift day, then I get Steak and Blowjob Day.

  10. Red Pill Woman on said:

    We don’t do Valentine’s Day. I don’t need an excuse to give my guy a blow job and he doesn’t need an excuse to be nice to me…

  11. Hmm, V day is also my W day anniversary, so I get to kill two birds with one stone. Not too bad. No flowers and no dinner though, just a smile and something small / cute.

  12. Freckled on said:

    That is one of the days im glad that i’m not living in the US. We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day here, even if the flower and chocolate industry complex wants us to.
    This day is remembered in my family as my grandfather’s birthday even if he is dead for over 20 years. Next year we will have a family reunion to celebrate his would-be 100th birthday. No one is obligated to make presents and everyone gets a really good meal, what’s not to love 🙂

    • Canada? England? Australia? What country is this that’s still free from the marketing-push-per-month out of the retail industry?

      • Altimanix on said:

        England has it as something within a couple or as an anonymous thing for trying it on.

        Still sucks for the men, but at least there is no co-worker / kids / friends etc shite

        Never paid it any notice apart as a time to try it on with a long shot, too much of an obvious cash munching marketing opportunity by scumbag restaraunts / flowershops etc

        I’m sure the marketing bastards are working on taking us towards the more lucrative US model

      • In the U.S. it is relentless. Next month, March, there will be March Madness sales for televisions and entertainment centers. There will St Patrick’s day sales for something or other. In April there will be huge Easter sales, likely directed at women exclusively. In May there will be Cinco De Mayo sales, huge Mother’s Day sales, and huge Memorial Day Sales. In June there will be Father’s day sales and huge Graduation sales. In July of course there will be huge Independence Day sales. In August there’s no major holiday, but no matter, because you have to shop for the kids as they go back to school! September of course has Labor Day to sell things on. October has Halloween. November has Veterans Day and Thanksgiving and of course, Black Friday/Black Monday. December is non-stop christmas/new years marketing.

        Remember, every kiss begins with Kay… which I take to be open advertising that all women are whores. It’s still unfathomable to me that feminists don’t have a problem with that line of commercials, oh wait, they’re distracted by something shiny…

        There is no end to trying to sell crap to the American public, it is a constant barrage.

  13. Freckled on said:

    It’s Germany, but Austria and Switzerland are the same 🙂

  14. Valentine’s day is nothing to me. The only woman I buy things for is my Mother. I usually buy her a computer or something or take her out to a nice restraunt, since I am the only man in her life. My girlfriend gets nothing, and I refuse to acknowledge the day at all, when it comes to relationships. You should never buy anything or do anything for your romantic interest on V day. If you start out ignoring it, she will never develop expectations. Then again, I ignore Christmas and birthdays as well, so maybe I’m biased.

  15. Goin’ trolling tonight, Half the work is already done.

  16. fjod/10199 on said:

    going to the club tonight to game some already drunk and lonely chicks

    • Hamster Tamer on said:

      Double bonus ’cause it’s Thursday, the ultimate bar-slut night anyway… I mean really, Wed. is often a semi-occasion, but who (routinely/normally) goes out on Thurs. night? Only the hardcore hard corps…

      “Nice” girls are getting a “Brazilian”, and cleaning house, (and hitting the gym) for the upcoming weekend.

  17. DonnerDerien on said:

    My Ex-Oneitis (married 10 years to some other sucker) dropped me a text at 6:30 AM ‘Happy Valentines Day’

    • How/did you respond? Something like “Is your phone on vibrate?” or “3rd message I’ve received today – luv it!” or “Who is this?” or “(some other chick’s name) – wear the edible panties!!!!”

      • DonnerDerien on said:

        I waited 6 hours and replied ‘too early!’ If I was less of a kind person I would have also said ‘too late’.

    • Richard Cranium on said:

      Is it that time of year again? Hadn’t noticed.
      No significant other=no Valentine’s Day. No gifts, no candy, no dinner.
      Also no emotionl blackmail, no tears, no temper tantrums.
      Just another Thursday with too much work to do around these parts.

    • Curious – do you think she was trying to be a bitch or was it kind of a regret thing? I imagine you might have a pretty good idea, because you know the history between the two of you.

      • DonnerDerien on said:

        I don’t care about motives because I’m cured. I just thought it was hilarious so felt like posting.

  18. taterearl on said:

    Why hate or not acknowledge the holiday? After all if it’s a holiday of love…why not do things for the person you should love the most.

    Yourself. Have a beer, go hunting, do things you like…the resturants and flower shops will be full so you should have run of the other places.

    And if you have any money left over for your SO…skittles or making something with macaroni and glue isn’t bad.

  19. Off to a cigar bar for a good smoke and a couple of bourbons with a friend just back from Kandahar. Perhaps we will change venues and chase tail. Maybe not. Either way it will be a great night

    • Rich Cook on said:

      Ask your friend if the Dutch PX still stocks the cubans. And they had the best instant coffee. When I left the Germans were building a PX on the boardwalk.

  20. Facebook status update from a cute, early 20’s woman: “At least my cats will always love me.”

    My comment: “Everything seems better in your 20’s”

    • Hamster Tamer on said:

      YOWZA! Zinger! Wow, maybe the early 20s guys are largely Red Pill already? Hopeful signs…

      • 26 here. Found the blogs last year. It was like puzzle pieces fitting together because suddenly stuff started making sense.

      • Hamster Tamer on said:

        Fantastic for you–tapping the font while still young–congrats! Ignore the Madison Ave/youth obsessed pop culture/Churchian messages, or any other influences, that carry the “30 is old, better git married” brainwashing. That only applies to wimminz. Enjoy every day, Game every wimminz (or snark them off, there’s always more)… expect that cosmic forces and Man-o-Knowledge will propel you to amazing levels of social and professional success… a certain level-headed maturity and calm detachment will start to synergize your growth process.

      • Nupnupnup on said:

        I read the first game stuff when I was 19 (about a decade ago). I’d wager to say it didn’t help me all that much…

  21. zeppo shemp on said:

    Most of my married male co-workers have been nervous wrecks for the last week.

    Did I buy the ‘right’ gift?

    Will she get angry that I didn’t correctly guess where she wants to eat out?

    When I inevitably fail to meet her expectations, how will she punish me?

    Observing their misery reenforces my happiness at being perpetually single.

    • Hamster Tamer on said:

      As a member of Team Bro, you should be nudging them to Athol Kay’s and Dalrock’s sites. It’s bad for you, me, and all of Western Civ. to have clueless Betas like this undermining society.

      Of course, Gaming their wives, at least to the point of an “accidentally video-recorded” make-out session (and naughty texts), does wonders for forcing down The Red Pill as well. 😉

  22. Shameful on said:

    Happy harem implosion day! The tension in the air as multiple texts from multiple girls about plans for this hallowed evening. Knowing the impending disaster i picked the girl who would be cool cooking at her place. My gift, why steaks of course!

    I am totally unsure how to damage control this. Or treata it mostly as a reset. Today, thanksgiving, and christmas, all dramathe filled. I’m only grateful one girl is out of town taking me off the hook for that.

  23. Nupnupnup on said:

    Decided to call it an early evening at work (by my 70h week standard, anyway), go home and wallow in self pity and misery. Except Prozac seems hell bent on not letting me do so, I guess my life is better than I thought.

    @Freckled: even so, the stupidity of Valentine’s day has crept upon German speaking Europe. As for VD, It has brought me both good and bad luck in the past (both in the form of a 7 year LTR) but these days, I couldn’t care less. Not even enough to go out and get drunk – the wine in the cellar is better, anyway, plus I have an 8am meeting tomorrow…

  24. Hamster Tamer on said:

    semi-off-topic: To those who Sprechen Sie Deutsch, what’s your take on Swiss wimminz? I find them to be strange ducks indeed…

    • Nupnupnup on said:

      Potentially worse than the ones in the US

      • Nupnupnup on said:

        In fairness, at least so far, nobody wanted to slap me with a sexual harassment suit around here, so maybe, they are marginally better. Bitches nonetheless.

    • MaMu1977 on said:

      They taste funny, can’t cook worth a damn (when <30) and their parents are nowhere near as liberal as you'd expect (Switzerland is the only country I've ever set foot in where parents were angrier about their sons dating non-swiss women than their daughters mating with non-swiss men). That last part isn't a joke: swiss women are so schizophrenic in their sexual desires that the older generation would rather not deal with the fallout.

      My advice: if you find yourself in Belgium, Switzerland, liechtenstein or Luxemburg, "find" yourself a vehicle or public conveyance and "find" yourself in Germany (rural) asap.

  25. Vicomte on said:

    Always remember
    You cannot beat the Axis
    If you get VD


    • Hamster Tamer on said:

      Lulz… love the ol’ WW2 propaganda posters… “Leave those naughty wily French girls alone… (they’re for the officers)…”

  26. Freckled on said:

    @Nupnupnup you are right, businesses and restaurants want VD to be celebrated there too, it is all about the money. But really, it will never reach the dimensions existent in the US today. Drink a glass of wine for me too, i have to work at 7 am tomorrow…

    @Hamster Tamer It depends on your point of view. From a german point of view they may seem strange indeed. If a person from Switzerland appears on german television they have to sometimes use subtitels so that everyone can understand what they are speaking. They seem to be even more reserved than germans, but once you get to know them they are very friendly and they to have great cheese…

    • Nupnupnup on said:

      @Freckled: trust me, they are strange even from Swiss point (they are the single biggest thing that would make me consider to emigrate – trouble is, most of the places I could see myself in are little better)

      Yeah, Switzerland might be the most reserved country I have ever seen (and I’ve seen plenty – the only exception to that might be Finland which I don’t know very well).

  27. Tam the Bam on said:

    Steak may be the ultimate anti-attraction deal-breaker in Britland today, short of taking a dump in her handbag.
    There’s a high chance it may have last been seen falling in the 3:30 at Cheltenham.
    Just about everybody is in a “show me the hooves or shove it, mate” kind of mood about red meat in any form just now, and any Brit girl worth touching with a bargepole almost certainly had a pony as her only childhood friend. Achtung! Minen!

    • Nupnupnup on said:

      Nothing wrong with that, I like ponies. For barbecue.

    • Hamster Tamer on said:

      Steak may be the ultimate anti-attraction deal-breaker in Britland today…

      So then… by dint of omission (and a tummy unladen by red meat)… there’s still generally high enthusiasm for the “dessert” portion of the March 14th Programme in the UK? 😈

      There’s a high chance it may have last been seen falling in the 3:30 at Cheltenham.

      Well, ’tis only the hooves that are needed at the glue factory, eh?… wouldn’t really be “Green” to get sentimental ’bout all the rest now would it?

  28. Ah, VD here in Ozland come and gone – the sight of hapless men wandering around in lingerie and dress stores too hilarious ! You only get these ones in the first flushes of lurv. Like I said to my friend you can tell how long a couple has been together based on the location of the male during female shopping trips. The relationship between distance and time couple has been dating is strongly and directly co-related. The same as for VD. The more fuss, the younger the relationship. It’s like they have something to prove.

  29. Not much to vent about, since I don’t really acknowledge this fake “holiday.” Even when I was married the most I’d do would be to go out for sushi. Though I agree with Rojo and fjod that this particular evening does present a prime opportunity for pickup. And I like ar10308’s idea of having some kiddie V-day cards on hand as props.

    But if we must celebrate Saint Valentine’s day, I would prefer to focus the original meaning of the day and conduct activities to honor this man’s sacrifice: he was beaten with clubs and stones; when that failed to kill him, he was beheaded. Perhaps we could concentrate on feminists…

  30. Pingback: Please Vent About Valentines Day « PUA Central

  31. Arbor day holds more significance than Valentine’s Day. Trees are pretty.

  32. Johnny Caustic on said:

    Valentine’s Day is a day when women are virtually required by law to shit test the men they’re seeing. A woman can go 364 days without supplication, but if she doesn’t receive some proper male self-renunciation on the 365th, her pride is too deeply wounded. They wanted to call it Betacization Day, but Betacization is too awkward a word. My advice is to buy her nothing, invite her over to fuck, kick her out when she starts drama, and refuse to communicate with her in any way for the next week.

  33. On my way home this evening I stopped at a large grocery store. They sell flowers outside. They had extra stacks of bouquets on both sides of the sidewalk and there was a frenzy of flower-buying going on. Seriously, the line had to be twenty people long when I went in and just as long when I came out. They were raking in money almost literally hand over fist.

    I got some odd looks as I walked passed the line laughing out loud. But I think next February, I’m going to get into the flowers-selling business for a day…

  34. Beppo Venerdì on said:

    Not really a vent, but this was an interesting memory from when I was in college:

    Some Women’s health thing/Student Association (I don’t remember which) was handing out condoms to people in the halls so you’d “be safe with your special someone of this Day of Love.” I was leaving the library and was stopped by one girl of the group who handed me a condom with a “Happy Valentine’s Day!” and a smile.

    I took it, said thanks and went on my way, fully cognizant that I was single (she might as well have kept the rubber and said “you’re not getting laid tonight”) AND was working that evening. So yeah, I was in a dark mood the rest of the day.

    Buon San Valentino!

  35. This picture sums it up nicely:

  36. I had a couple bourbons. Not to celebrate, I do most nights. It’s summer here so I worked on a ’72 Mercury Outboard I got cheap, out on my porch. Got spark but no fuel, need to strip those carbs down next…

  37. rofl, my harem totally imploded today…i went from 9 down to 2

  38. I sent my man a card. He liked it. Unfortunately we couldn’t meet that day in person. Not much to complain about, except that in USA, they always played Vagina Monologues on campus on Valentine’s Day, souring relationships.

  39. I gave this girl a first communion card instead of a vd card. Inside I said I said I know of a better Mexican cook than mr jesus…

  40. Not really a vent, but what I look forward to is following Valentine’s Day: I look for the stories about the bars, clubs, and other places that have the Valentine Singles Get-Togethers, where lots of (picky) women show up, but relatively few men (due to their familiarity with women’s hypergamy and 300-item checklists). It’s ALWAYS fun to read the stories, and see how the media spins them to place the responsibility for the low male turn-out due to some shortcoming on the part of the men (it’s happened before).

  41. cogitansiuvenis on said:

    Valentines was good this year. Stayed in some wine, and a surprise exchange dinner. We each made a secret dish that wouldn’t be revealed until dinner time. She did cheddar biscuits amd I did crab cakes. She also had my favorite ice cream, maple walnut. She wanted to make my favorite desert, my grandmothers bread pudding and put the ice cream on it. But she couldn’t get a hold of my mom, why she even has a cell phone is beyound me.

    Ayways I suggest people do that. Stay in, drink some wine, and cook for each other. Easily the best VDOV I’ve ever had, and will do it that way from now on.

  42. Middle aged chick here. I know women are supposed to just love ” V Day ” but even when I was in a great relationship it always left me kind of “meh”. I think from a societal/social programming piont of view women tend to fixate on hugely symbolic things ( Valentine’s Day/My Wedding Day ect ect, you can fill in the blanks with other days ) and it leaves men frustruated and some women freak out if their expectations are not met and on the positive side I suppose the economy gets a boost. Don’t get me wrong I appreciate a romantic gesture from a man but “official” days just do not appeal to me. Oooops, is this a no girls tree house? Ducks and runs…..

  43. Tam the Bam on said:

    @Vicomte; it ain’t over till …

  44. It’s a pretty lousy day for women, too!

    The whole thing is a fake holiday which was basically invented by marketers to encourage people to spend more money frivolously.

    I enjoy making red paper decorations.
    I like making home-made Valenties with doilies and lace.
    I like baking things for my family (this year: pink heart-shaped sugar cookies)
    If I ever had a boyfriend, I’d want to celebrate Valentine’s day the same way I do now.

    A woman who “demands” expensive dinners and expensive gifts on Valentine’s day is a pretty maladjusted woman.

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