Astrological Sign Determines Romantic Compatibility? WTF?!

“Oh, I can’t date a Capricorn”

A woman friend of mine actually said this with a straight face. I simply raised my eyebrows in a subtle gesture of incredulity. She then went on to list the astrological signs of men she could date. I could say nothing. My friend then went on a lengthy monologue of her inability to find love and commitment. Of course, I knew the answer. Anyone silly and immature enough to use astrology as a serious rule in finding romance is incapable of romantic commitment.

I do understand that many women take astrology rather seriously and won’t change their views on the matter. But to use something so arbitrary and capricious as a birthdate to rule out a potential romantic partner is quite absurd and potentially self-defeating. Astrology is a minefield to be avoided. In my opinion, relying on astrology is ridiculous and absurd.

For women, I simply say this: Never, ever ask for a man’s astrological sign. It’s simply not important. Not asking the question is easy.  Be aware that the insistence to ask is not the hallmark of a well-balanced person. Yes, I’m judging and I urge men to judge as well.

For men, the advice gets trickier: If asked, evade. Give your birth year and then say “I think it was a Tuesday”. Or, make up your own sign. “I’m a Papyrus”. Try a traffic sign like “Yield” or something along those lines. If she’s insistent, judge her silently, harshly, but ultimately yield with the truth. You’ve got a silly and immature dame on your hands and she’s good for casually dating, nothing more. Seriously, do you want to make a commitment to a woman who makes her romantic decisions based on your astrological sign? And when on a date, don’t even bring up the subject of astrology, ever.

Back to the women: Did you read what I just advised men? It’s a bit harsh but this means you need to re-evaluate your beliefs in astrology when determining your romantic connection to a potential paramour. If you want to cling to those beliefs, that’s your business but know the consequences – most men will judge you negatively. The small number of guys who also have those beliefs are not likely to commitment-minded because they’ll be flaky and weird.

About these ads

40 Comments

  1. I am very proud of the fact I don’t know what my sign is and what the majority of the signs are.

  2. I once read a book that suggested ‘feces’ as the astrological sign. I doubt that I’ll ever use it.

  3. I buy all my produce based on which way the weather vane is pointing and get my car’s oil changed by the phases of the moon.

    Needless to say, the day I had horrible diarrhea due to eating rotten vegetables was not a good day to be waiting for the tow truck.

  4. jv

     /  February 2, 2013

    Uh oh, guess I’ll have to count myself among the flakes. I had an astrology business as a child.

  5. further proof that bitches is crazy

  6. Hamster Tamer

     /  February 2, 2013

    My stock answer is: “you mean… you can’t TELL? If there’s ANYTHING to natal horological astrology (*great mouthful*), then SURELY you can tell my sign… No?… well, hang around, buy ME a drink… my sign will “reveal itself” soon, I’m sure… (*rimshot*)

    If they start guessing, I reveal exponentially INcreasing disapproval and Loss Of Attraction with each guess… “I guess you didn’t hear me earlier, but… this seat is taken…”

    Ladies, more from the harsh-but-necessary advice repository: If reasonable articulate men find you more attractive BEFORE you open your mouth than after, you need to make some major course corrections. Just sayin’…

  7. Brilliant. This needs to be spread far and wide. Horoscopes are such a load of shit. One girl last year asked me what I was. I said an Aquarius. She said ‘oh I always date Aquarius’s!’ I said ‘good you can continue your trend’. But yeah, my interest in her didnt last.

    Love your first paragraph above PM.

  8. zhai2nan2

     /  February 2, 2013

    You seem to be operating from two assumptions:
    1 – A woman is supposed to maximize her number of romantic partners;
    2 – A woman is supposed to regard her personal desires as paramount in romance.

    Now, if you operate from axioms 1 and 2, then indeed you ought to reject any form of astrology. Rather, just copulate as frequently as possible; reject all mental effort.

    By contrast, here are two incompatible axioms:
    3 – A woman is supposed to minimize her number of romantic partners;
    4 – A woman’s romantic decisions should be dictated by duty, not her personal feelings.

    If a woman operates from axioms 3 and 4, then she will aspire to have at most one sex partner in her lifetime, and she will need many, many reasons to reject romance. She might reject sex and romance by citing Christian ideas, or by citing astrological ideas, or by citing all sorts of other ideas. Such a woman, if successful, will have a great deal of time and effort that she will *not* spend on meaningless fornication. Such time and effort might be applied to higher goals – such as the philosophy of dutiful action – or even to the study of astrology.

    If adherence to astrology causes women to reject the culture of casual sex, I will rejoice, because the rate of sexually transmitted diseases would decline.

    • Vicomte

       /  February 2, 2013

      REJECT WANTON COPULATION.

      REDUCE THE RATE OF SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES.

      STUDY ASTROLOGY TODAY.

      • zhai2nan2

         /  February 3, 2013

        If you can’t figure out how to unlock your caps lock key, you’re probably not going to be able to figure out how to run astrology software.

      • Vicomte

         /  February 3, 2013

        You seem to be operating from two assumptions:
        1 – I cannot figure out how to unlock my caps lock key.
        2 – My ability to modulate said key is directly correlated with my ability to run astrology software.

        Now, if you operate from axioms 1 and 2, then indeed you ought to reject any form of coherent thought. Rather, just bullshit as frequently as possible; reject all mental effort.

        AND STUDY ASTROLOGY TODAY!

      • zhai2nan2

         /  February 3, 2013

        Vicomte:
        > I cannot figure out how to unlock my caps lock key.

        So anyone has to do is mention your failures of netiquette and you’ll roll over on your belly to demonstrate your need for approval?

        Have fun with the Internet.

      • Vicomte

         /  February 3, 2013

        I’m trying, zhai. I really am.

        However, your complete lack of a sense of humor is making my satire of your inflated diction, erudite presentation, and nonsensically ridiculous conclusions very difficult.

        Honestly, I’m don’t think should continue to work together.

        It’s not you, it’s me.

        I hope we can still remain friends.

  9. I follow it as an aside to personality and shit, but as a gauge to whether I’ll date woman-

    No.

  10. taterearl

     /  February 3, 2013

    “If asked, evade.”

    I wouldn’t even say a word. I’d just give her a confused look and then move on to something else. Like according to the Chinese I’m a rat.

    • This brings me to another comeback. “Oh, I only follow Chinese astrology and I was born in the year of the [insert obscure animal here].”

    • Vicomte

       /  February 3, 2013

      I remember going to Chinese restaurants when I was a kid and being slightly annoyed because while the placemat told me I was a snake, my brother got to be a dragon.

      At least I wasn’t the rat.

  11. Nupnupnup

     /  February 3, 2013

    Crazy bitch just next’ed herself. Saves time and energy. Same bucket, different type of crazy: the religious crowd. No I *really* don’t care what your crazy preacher has to say about relationships and sex. I am not even sure whether it is worse when it is for real or just a giant shit test…

  12. Hell, I don’t use astrology for compatibility, and I’m a freaking witch. I sucked at astrology, and I understand why people are skeptical. But when man is trying to find a universal clock by which to tie the cycles of life, the sky is really the only one that no one screws with. That being said, most people (even most astrologers) don’t understand the utility, and grossly mis-use the lore for their own purposes. Mumbo jumbo results. Mostly it’s just amusing and harmless.

    Usually if someone asks me my sign I’ll come back with “Rising, Solar or Lunar?” and watch their eyes glaze over. Then I launch into a long soliloquy how precession has really skewed the appropriate interpretation of celestial events, and how it really depends on the ephemeris you’re using, and when I start asking technical questions suddenly their “I don’t date Capricorns” sounds utterly inane.

    I’ve actually seen a dude (fellow witch) use serious Astrology Game, following the above spiel with “So, you want to come back to my place and see my ephemeris? We can check out what my Venus plans on getting up to tonight” and get MAD results. But then again a woman who has already voiced her preference for astrology has self-selected into the “gullible and easily-bullshitted” category, and has loudly announced to the world that she believes in Fate and Destiny. If you can speak knowledgeably and confidently about that subject and assure her that a retrograde Venus means that even nice girls are going to enjoy anal, then you can’t really call astrology useless bullshit, can you?

    • Hamster Tamer

       /  February 4, 2013

      LMBO!! I.I., your last paragraph nearly caused fine “gourmet” coffee–with real cream–to explode from my nostrils! Coulda been painful…

      … precession… ephemeris… technical questions… Glazed over, no doubt. Toss in nutation and Mean anomaly at Epoch for good measure, and your “spiritual” lass will be in a “cooperative” hypno-trance for hours! :shock: :razz:

      (Game Note to self: be ready and able to “outflank” wimminz on all SWPL topics… anti-nausea drugs PRN)

  13. jv

     /  February 3, 2013

    You guys should just use it as a spring board to say something cocky and funny. Honestly, even the woman who told PM that she wouldn’t date Capricorn’s would change her tune fast enough if the guy was engaging. As for eliminating someone based on the fact that they even muttered something about astrology……..seems humorless. Do you really think that these women run their life by astrology? Really?

    Times have changed. It used to be hairy chested pua’s with gold medallion’s asking “what’s your sign?” In this day and age, it’s the woman who’ll get eliminated for for uttering it.

    • Hamster Tamer

       /  February 4, 2013

      Do you really think that these women run their life by astrology? Really?

      Actually… YES, some truly do. And they put their (husband’s?) money where their… beliefs live. If you never encounter such wimminz, lucky you. But TPM lives in a town where, in a high-rent corner storefront, right on the Main Drag, there’s a Psychic/Astrology/Palm Reading/Tarot Card boutique. Not tiny, and it’s been there for many years. A “going concern” methinks… either that or wealthy hubby is keeping trophy wifey amused… it’s So-Fla, so you never know. Anyway, I doubt the clientele are civil engineers, or guys who decide how much crushed recycled glass gets added to asphalt.

      Maybe TPM will make a “field trip” there–with dozens of Man-o-dudes in tow–during the Spring Break Extravaganza. Group rate “reading”… Lulz.

      Forecast to be idyllic “tourist” weather we’re known for, most of this week… perhaps I’ll decamp across the street, roast beef sub in one hand, Harry Crews novel in the other, and scope out the customer base, in a Serious Social Scientist (SSS) kind of way. Crikey, I yawned just typing that… hmmm…

      • jv

         /  February 4, 2013

        Lol, a study of homo astrologous in her natural habitat?

        A Man-o-dudes field trip there could be interesting. Though I suspect the reader working there might end up getting HER palm read……

      • Vicomte

         /  February 4, 2013

        I wonder if she saw the fight outside…

      • Nicely obscure reference to VH1′s “The Pickup Artist”.

        10 bonus points.

  14. ZLX1

     /  February 4, 2013

    I’ve gotten this before on more than one occasion. Funnily enough, strong interest in knowing my astrological qualifications has been uttered from more than one self professed “christian” lady. Dumb. Very Dumb. Like you said, in my mind I sigh and realize she has just instantly disqualified herself from being taken seriously.

  15. Anonymous

     /  February 4, 2013

    Hey, babe, my sign or yours? (Damn, I haven’t heard this for decades… may not be doing it right.)

  16. Man you guys have no sense of humor.

    Laugh at her. Tell her you invented your own sign because regular astrology aint got shit on you.

    Jokingly tell her you heard every girl that is her sign is crazy, or weird. Then she’ll have to qualify herself.

    Pre-empt her. Have her tell you hers first. Shrug, flash a smirk, and tell her you’re not sure you’ll work out because usually not compatible with her sign. When she pushes for yours you can have a silly pseudo argument afterwards but it’s not going to matter and she’ll punch you on the arm.

    When you play around with chicks and their silly beliefs they’ll go from being an astrology buff to “well, it’s not that important I guess” in a matter of seconds. Have some fun, tease her. Astrology is dumb, but that’s not the point.

    • How do you teach “sense of humor” to a bot? DOES NOT COMPUTE

      • Shawn

         /  February 4, 2013

        The take away lesson of this post is never listen to what a woman say, it’s what she does and for f#*k sake do not take them seriously.

  17. Bill D

     /  February 4, 2013

    Oh just face it and quit whinging about it. They’re stupid, that’s all.

  18. grey_whiskers

     /  February 4, 2013

    From 1976, Michael Omartian’s “What’s Your Sign?”

    Background: Omartian is a born-again Christian who did session work with Steely Dan, going on to become a producer (Donna Summer, Christopher Cross, “We Are The World”).
    The lyrics to this song reveal it to be sarcasm, though the music is spot-on vintage 1970s vintage.

  19. grey_whiskers

     /  February 4, 2013

    @grey_whiskers — I *hope* the cut-n-paste didn’t screw up.

  20. I’m behind on my blog reading, so this is kinda late, but… I didn’t even know this was still a thing. I thought that went out with disco music.

  21. Clover

     /  April 3, 2013

    True fact: I only know one astrologer, and she is still with her husband. She began the relationship by mis-guessing his sign repeatedly but eventually triumphing after plotting his whole chart and finding 5 other planets clustered in the sign she’d guessed. They’re still going stong, 3 decades later.
    On the other hand, not a single girl I know who reads her weekly horoscope has had a sensible relationship yet. I’m only 20, but still…I’d say the problem was less with astrology itself, and more with the desire to partition people into groups quickly and easily for maximum ease of decision making. No need to get to know the guy if he’s got the right sign!

  1. Astrological Sign Determines Romantic Compatibility? WTF?! « PUA Central
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,076 other followers

%d bloggers like this: