The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “January 19, 2013”

So, How’s That Working Out For You?

Human beings are incredibly adaptable to outside influences. We adapt to changes in climate, geography, economy, political structure, almost anything. We adapt on both a societal and individual level. It would be miraculous if we weren’t such an intelligent species.

Despite our incredible adaptability to so many outside influences we are shockingly resistant to adapting individually to the nature of contemporary intimate relationships. Some guy or gal might pine away for an intimate relationship yet that same person simple refuses to adapt themselves in order to achieve his/her relationship goal. This is why dating coaches exist. Sometimes a third party is required to shove us into better dating and relationship habits.

So, how’s that working out for you?

There’s an entire self-analysis industry that has built up around our stubbornness to social and relationship adaptability. Myers-Briggs anyone? Once assigned a psychological label, we tend to wield it like a shield to fend off situations that might require change or adaptability. I hear this often with the “introvert” label. I completely understand why a man might label himself such but I also know that such a label too often precludes meaningful introspection that leads to changing habits.

So, how’s that working out for you?

When it comes to relationships, we are too often simple cowards because we cannot face any type of change or adaptability. This is not a gender issue. While women might say “I’ll never settle” – that’s a code word for “I’ll never adapt” – a man will say “But I’m a nice guy!”. Of course, the man knows all about the Red Pill but refuses to take it because of an willingness to adapt.  To me, that’s cowardice.

So, how’s that working out for you?

We completely ignore and/or refuse our innate ability to adapt and change. Of course I recognize that habits develop and are cemented with age. Regardless, our innate intelligence allows us to cope with almost any situation, including forming potential intimate relationships. Adapt or perish is a bit extreme in this context. Adapt or be miserable is a better way to look at the situation.

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