The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “January 15, 2013”

Know Your Relationship Goals

While dating is fun and interesting, it’s an investment in time and money (for both sexes). Embarking on the good ship Dating 2.0 requires knowing which port the vessel will ultimately dock. Your relationship goal will better focus your dating efforts. If pickup and seduction (what women call “serial dating”) is your goal, you’ll be hitting the PUA blogs and websites to learn Charisma (Game). I suspect that a relatively small number of men will go this route.

Most men and women alike would prefer to be in some sort of committed, exclusive relationship. The online dating profile should reflect this. As men and women are different, relationship goals might differ. Many of my readers are very sour on marriage from a legal and experience point of view. However, they are not anathema to exclusivity or even living together. I’m not a big fan of co-habitating, especially over a certain age. That’s a subject for a future blog post.

Without relationship goals, dating is too random and haphazard for men and women alike. Date with a purpose. But the Charismatic man who seeks an exclusive, committed relationship faces a dilemma. He has options with women and a series of mini-relationships might be the result, much to the dismay of the women he becomes involved with for a few weeks or months. Those women might be commitment-oriented but the man can easily bail out and pursue other options.

For women post trading season* who are seeking committed relationship, the difficulty is that men are the gatekeepers to commitment. Yes, I use that phrase over and over again. It’s true and increasing numbers of men are realizing it. So while a woman might have commitment as a relationship goal, she’s no longer the buyer, she’s the seller.

* Trading season is late 30s to early 40s when most divorces occur.

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