The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Is Deti Brilliant Or What?

Yeah, he’s brilliant. I read too many blogs. My eyes get tired and I’ll probably go blind soon. No matter, I see it as my avocation to mine the Manosphere for Red Pill wisdom. So, I’m over at Dalrock’s blog (link below) and Deti is all over it… like white on rice. Zowie, batman, Deti serves it up:

I’ve become more cynical and less trusting in every area of my life. I’ve said it before: Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, I thought I knew about male-female relationships was 100% wrong. I put my trust in parents, teachers, pastors, Scout leaders, and other adults who I thought knew what they were talking about, only to discover that they had absolutely NO idea what they were talking about. I listened to them about other things too, such as school advice, college advice, politics, economics, nutrition, medicine, business, and career advice. Increasingly, I am discovering they were wrong about that stuff too.

As a married father, Deti is way invested in the social contract (broken contract, by the way – link below). If things go South culturally, he has much more to lose than childfree bachelors like myself. He’s got skin in the game. Lots of skin, more skin than my cowardly soul could even hope to handle. But he’s got nothing on my brother who raised two daughters by himself. My brother’s tale makes Sisyphus look like a lazy, drug-addled slacker… or, me.  For the record, I don’t do drugs.

Taking the Red Pill is a hugely difficult task. It requires unlearning a myriad of social expectations and then shifting one’s total world view, especially about women, dating, and relationships. Most men simply lack the emotional fortitude to do it. I find that sad and troubling. As a social man, I observe very carefully when Red Pill subjects come up. I cautiously bring up the Manosphere alternative. Usually, I am met with white knight resistance so I back down. Again, I find that sad and troubling.

I applaud Deti and all those who comment on Manosphere blogs, forums, and websites. Such comments are small acts of significant resistance. With more Manosphere blogs surfacing, I am heartened by the men and women swimming against the tide of “progressive” and socially conservative ideology… two peas in a pod.

A secret the KGB couldn’t have kept.

The Broken Gender Social Contract


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19 thoughts on “Is Deti Brilliant Or What?

  1. Cheshirecat on said:

    Deti really needs to get a blog, he’s that good…

  2. I skim read about half a dozen blogs just to read deti’s comments.

  3. driversuz on said:


    “Brilliant” might even be an understatement, if that’s possible.

  4. Nupnupnup on said:

    Good thing I am a natural contrarian. Makes it easier to back away when conventional wisdom does not work, then it is most likely wrong (in fact, I assume that things are wrong by default, kind of makes for an exhausting life though).

    Let me touch on each of his examples:

    Nutrition: conventional wisdom is blatantly wrong as can be seen by the outcomes especially in the US. However, the alternatives are not all shining as bright as they would like (e.g. high fat paleo type diets are a truly bad idea for the roughloy 20% of the population with APOE4 genes), I predict that 5 more years of genomics will help us tailor nutrition to people’s genotype a lot more than we already do. Thankfully, I am lucky – classic ectomorph, struggling to gain weight not lose it.

    Dating: CS is self evidently wrong. Too bad my head is too screwed up to benefit from the advice online.

    Economics (disclaimer: MA in Econ with an MBA on top of it)? Mixed bag, macroeconomics is almost entirely wrong, microeconomics and behavioral economics basically right but too much has been built on not entirely solid foundations, finance is sound in principles (e.g. no arbitrage pricing) but suffers a little from a divide between the models and reality (not surprising though). Not entirely clear what the lessons to take from this are (unless you want to play financial markets with behavioral economics maybe).

    Career advice: some is solid (in particular, jop hopping is a bad idea as is choosing jobs solely by compensation), most is bullshit. In particular, I refuse to listen to career advisers (I have a very small amount of time for dumb people and career advisers in my experience without exception fell in that group).

    College advice: Not having grown up in the US I don’t think I have enough perspective to comment. Outside in (without any true analysis on it) I would argue that unless you can get into a top school, the cost is probably not worth it.

    Business advice: I do not listen to it. I am convinced you cannot teach most of business (mind you, I have a top 10 MBA) but it is more of an experiential thing. You can teach bits and pieces in some skillareas but how to be a successful businessman? NFW.

  5. He is very good, but so are some others, especially the utterly brilliant TFH, as well as Badger, Keyster, AndyBob and dare I say it, Private Man himself.

    • Senior Manchild on said:

      I can´t keep up with all the discussions and usually just look for specific people like TFH, Keyster, sure Badger, Höllenhund, Uncle Elmer and all the good bloggers like PM, Dalrock, Heartiste, CaptainCapitalism, GLPiggy, Sunshinemary, Rollo, etc. who drop comment wisdom sometimes on other blogs.

      Oh, and wherever Zed shows up the quality of discussion just improved.

      I had already seen that comment by Deti, and found it resounding in me even though our circumstances in life are quite different;

      It is hard to escape the Matrix. Even at my mature age, there continues to be alot of deprogramming and reprogramming going on, and I have been more red-pill all my life than most men. It´s not always easy.

      Any other superstars I should pay more attention to?

  6. greenlander on said:

    Lol, no debate from me. The guy *is* brilliant.

  7. Pingback: Is Deti Brilliant Or What? « PUA Central

  8. Thanks for the props, but I don’t deserve them. PM, you said what I was trying to say:

    “Taking the Red Pill is a hugely difficult task. It requires unlearning a myriad of social expectations and then shifting one’s total world view, especially about women, dating, and relationships. Most men simply lack the emotional fortitude to do it.”

    The Red Pill makes you question everything about your life and the way you’ve lived it up to that point. And in light of learning the ancient truths, it reveals enormous waste — squandered time, money, resources, potential, and relationships.

    • koevoet on said:

      How long does it take for the red pill to go down? For me, I always suspected what the red pill tells us, but I never wanted to believe it. I always hoped that what I now know as the blue pill was true. I doubted it, but I sincerely hoped that I just wasn’t meeting the right woman. Now, here I am and utterly killing these beliefs is hard. I think I have the internalized a lot of what the red pill says and believe it, but part of me still wants to believe in the other stuff. I understand game but generally can’t pull it off. (Obviously I don’t approach near enough.)

      I guess the main thing I am wondering is, I do not doubt the red pill but the old dreams haven’t died yet. Is there hope that I will actualize it given enough time, since I am not actively fighting it?

      • It’s a process that happens at different rates for different men. It takes time to completely eradicate the blue-pill mentality, and it takes constant effort. Which is why TPM’s exercises to build the confidence sub-routine are valuable. But rest assured, once you’ve taken the Red Pill, you can never really go back to the Matrix…

  9. I got nothing but ultimate respect for the man.

  10. I feel you on the White Knights. My guy tried to bring the Red Pill up with his best friend (who could sorely use it), and now his friend calls MMSL “that mysoginist website”. If only he knew about the rest of the Manosphere, LOL!

    • I’ve tried to, gently, provide Red Pill wisdom to some friends, but it can be difficult to do.

      You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it.

      Any man who uses the word “misogynist” is beyond help; he’s just too plugged in. Especially since the word has been stretched far, far from it’s actual meaning. Now, “misogynist” means any man who merely has the temerity to disagree with a woman…

  11. taterearl on said:

    Oddly enough my distrust and cynicism with the media, government, and other various forms of brainwashing eventually led me to the manosphere.

    I never thought that relationships were included…but it was a true Matrix moment when I stumbled into the manosphere. I always knew something was wrong but didn’t know what it was. Now I’ve seen how far the rabbit hole goes.

  12. I think the floodgates of truth are opening, and the red pill will become increasingly easy to take – but that the most important source of information won’t be the manosphere, but women themselves.

    The harsh truths are more obvious than ever, with Facebook, Twitter, and so forth. A women increasingly trade privacy for attention and sympathy, the pedestal will erode and more men will have concrete counter-examples against the idealizations in pop culture and our social norms. It’s much harder to NAWALT away truths that are being put on public display, where men can see what (and whom) women are actually doing, as opposed to just saying.

    The thing that makes people stick around the manosphere is where it reflects their observations and experiences. Now, more people will come upon the red pill with the base of experience needed to take it.

  13. TPM,
    Your quote is interesting and I have been wondering about it for some time now:
    “As a social man, I observe very carefully when Red Pill subjects come up. I cautiously bring up the Manosphere alternative. Usually, I am met with white knight resistance so I back down. Again, I find that sad and troubling.”

    I have also found this to be the case. Most of my friends are beta lapdogs to their girlfriends and love-interests. I just want to shake them and force them to read Roissy’s archives. One example was when my friends and I were discussing intelligence re: men vs. women. My mates were utterly convinced that girls were smarter in every way; I nearly lost it. When I suggested they try to name 1 single female scientist or inventor, they said, “nah, they’re intuitive and emotionally smart” (pretty lie number 734). Long story short I did a palm-face and gave up. I felt like saying, “you have been lied to all your life. I can offer you the truth, just stop fighting me on it.”

    So I’m thinking about printing out 10 copies of The Misandry Bubble with a nice colourful front page and leaving it around my college (esp. around the sociology school). Thoughts?

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