The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for the post-divorce crowd

Women’s PoF Profile Headlines – The Good, The Boring, The Bad

This is proving to be my most popular blog post. If you like it, please support my efforts through my Patreon endeavors

Here’s another great blog post that helps women with their online dating profiles. I’ve gotten emails about that one and it’s actually led to marriages. It’s that good.

I present a list of example headlines in women’s online dating profiles. Most are uninspiring, too many turn me away, and a few will get me to actually read the complete profile. These are from the online dating website, Plenty Of Fish. I am categorizing these headlines into three areas – generic or unexciting, off-putting, and compelling. This only took me about 45 minutes and I only looked at a hundred or so.

I found these profiles doing my standard search: between 36 and 52 years old, thin or athletic figure (though occasionally if childfree or Latina, average), living within 25 miles of me. As I live in the populous Fort Lauderdale area, this search generally yields a hundred or more profiles. These are real headlines and profiles. Yes, I realize the subjective nature of this exercise. As a writer, I do focus on words a great deal and yes, most guys surf the photos. But women don’t want “most” guys.

Note: Correct word usage and grammar counts for me and for any guy with Charisma. The common theme in most doomed headlines is that the women don’t understand they must bring something to the dating and relationship table (see link below). They state what they want – or don’t want – or they use egotistical boasts without the awareness of what men actually want, just what they think men want based on their projection of their wants onto men. A man of a certain age and with Charisma shouldn’t care so much as to what the woman wants, it’s about what she offers that he wants.

I’ve made some comments on particular headlines. Expect some snark. [bracketed boldface].

Generic and unexciting headlines – There is nothing exciting about these headlines. They are used by so many women, so often, it takes a very good photo before I’m inclined to continue reading the profile.

Honesty a must… [burned a few times by cads and married guys?]
The real deal only…. [What does that even mean?]
Please REALLY read my profile before messaging me [Most men surf photos, that will never change]
Looking for someone really special.
Looking to meet someone. [Of course you are, most of the women on PoF are. Except the online attention whores]
Ready for Mr. Right [What were you doing in your 20s and early 30s]
Are You that Special Someone? [Are you?]
Looking for my last, 1st kiss!
Looking for my best friend
Let’s have last first date…………..
Looking for someone genuine [Meaningless]
looking for someone drama free [Actually, you’re probably the one with the drama]
Looking for my one and only.
Looking for mr. right [What, not Prince Charming?]
looking for my soul mate…:) [Oh the cliches, THE CLICHES! And stop with the emotional pornography]
Live, Laugh and Love [As generic as it gets]
Still seeking that 1 quality man :)
Seeking an Optimistic, Brains and Brawn Gent! [What do you offer?]
Looking for my Co-Pilot [Actually, you’re seeking a pilot. You’re the co-pilot]
Heart of Gold
Cool Girl looking for One Cool Guy!
Looking for a confident man [All women want a confident man and confident men know this]

Off-putting headlines – This is self-explanatory. Entitlement, negativity, anger, demanding, big egos, misandry, not understanding that men are the gatekeepers to commitment… you get the idea. I look particularly for the codewords used by bossy and domineering women (link below) Not even outstanding photos will make me open the profile. Sadly, it’s too easy to find these headlines.

looking for a man not a boy. [That’s just awful. And stop dating boys]
No A-holes [And how would you know about A-holes? You’re attracted to them!]
if ur wit the gme,and just wnt sex,bye!! [No comment, yeesh]
Take My Breath Away! [At your age and me as the gatekeeper to commitment, that’s your job]
UpScale Casual Seeks Same… [“Upscale”, the men know exactly what that means]
Window Shopping
i need no headline [Uh, yeah, you do]
Can U Mentally Stimulate Me Without Being Sexual? [Date a much older college professor have sex with bad boy]
Fun and sassy!! [“Sassy” is another codeword for bossy and domineering]
Spunky and Homegrown [See directly above]
clowns to the left…jokers to the right [You picked ’em]
Where are the funny guys???? [Right where you left ’em, in your block list]

Compelling headlines – A good headline sucks me (heh) into the profile. I want to read more. I look for humor, self-awareness, positivity, originality, focus on me and not her, etc. I’ll forgive mediocre photos and delve deeper and deeper (oh, the double entendres keep on coming!) into the profile. I wish there were more of such headlines.

Don’t be perfect, be happy! [I like this… thanks and I will!]
Class and Style Will Make You Smile
Older and Wiser!!! [You get it]
Wishing YOU an Amazing Day !!! [Wow, use of the second person, rare even in the profile text]
Guaranteed more fun than your ex! [Lulz]
You always get what you feel. :):):) [Women should be happy and fun and they’ll get happy and fun guys]
“There’s no next time. It’s now or never.”  [Good quote]
let’s try something different… [Proper introspection should yield change]
to whom it may concern….[This just resonated in me, I don’t know why]

Helpful Hint For A Woman’s Online Dating Profile

Online Profile Codewords Used By Bossy and Domineering Women

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27 thoughts on “Women’s PoF Profile Headlines – The Good, The Boring, The Bad

  1. hehe. i started a page devoted to disaster profiles myself a few weeks ago with the exact same snark comments.

    If you have any real disasters you come across, send my way please, with your comments attached.

  2. Very entertaining. As Dalrock says, it’s extremely difficult for women to truly understand men and make them happy. It’s clear these women are listening to their female friends and not male opinions about what they should be putting on,.

  3. “UpScale Casual Seeks Same… [“Upscale”, the men know exactly what that means]”
    Hahaha. I emailed a member of the ‘upscale’ set once. She made it clear what she wanted in her posting (lots of money spent on her and more), so I asked what did she bring to the table?
    Anger, extreme entitlement, and a massive overvaluing of her own attractiveness, apparently. How dare I demand something from her?
    Clearly worthy of the utmost love and affection.

  4. “UpScale Casual Seeks Same…” = hooker

  5. I’ve had women from POF and OKCupid tell me how guys don’t put any thought or effort into writing their profiles/emails. Women are just as guilty as shown by the evidence here from their subject lines.

    3MM, I totally agree with you. Women need to get a clue. I think a lot of them are still stuck in the Sex And The City mindset. That show and it’s advice to women is outdated, if it ever actually worked anyway.

  6. Seen today on PoF:

    “Find out what you love .. and then let it kill you” (WTF?! At least she was not a widow.)

    “Looking for my soulmate. I like a man to be over 6′.” (I hope this is a comment on her lack of writing skill, and not the condition of her soul.)

    “Under 6 foot? Don’t bother (sorry)”

    “Must be totally honest” (doesn’t mean she will be)

    More troubling: most women have discovered the “Mail Settings”, which translate into the “Must/Must Not” text at the bottom of the profile. Most women who have discovered these settings check “Must not be looking for other relationship” and “Must not be looking for intimate encounter”. Very few check “Must not be married” – unless they are young and want to have children. I’ll say that again. 90% of women on PoF who have completed their family are cool about stealing another woman’s husband.

    I know a lot of people in real life, and it is always interesting to see someone I know using internet dating, and compare their profile with reality. Of 8 women I recognised in profiles and had been acquainted with, four were highly promiscuous, two were borderline alcoholics, and only two were people that I would have been glad to meet again. That’s a 75% psycho rate, with no visible clues on the profiles. At this point I stopped counting. However, I do still make a mental note if I see someone who I know is in a relationship. On an admittedly small sample – two – of women I know whose partners are computer-illiterate, 100% have at some point in the relationship posted a dating profile looking for another man. I occasionally look at the men’s profiles, and I can confirm that they are just as bad as the women, though I do not check them often enough to have built up statistics based on people that I know.

    The site “edatereview” has lots of reviews of dating websites, and it is interesting to see other people’s experiences of internet dating. Both men and women have terrible experiences with online dating, and score the sites at one out of five (the lowest score that the site will allow).

    However, the most damning indictment of online dating comes from the reviews on “edatereview” that present the response to fake profiles of men. A fake profile of a very attractive asshole will attract a lot of interest, from the most unexpected people (based on the pretended wants in their profiles).

    There are a lot of good people on PoF, but they are greatly outnumbered by the skanks and players.

    • Everyone should read “edatereview”. It’s pretty eye opening. The lack of statistical evidence provided by the dating sites showing success rates is also a clue to how well they work. People staying on dating sites is usually the triumph of hope over experience. I’ve read all the advice on how to succeed at internet dating and it’s all contradictory. If internet dating really worked for most guys, there would be more of a consensus on what to do and what methods to use. If you’re a guy it works for, though, by all means do it. I’m still doing it but mostly for entertainment purposes and I do what Privateman does in this post and make a lot of little internal humorous remarks to myself as I’m reading the female profiles. I’ve pretty much gone back to meeting women in real life and it works better, at least for me.

  7. Doesn’t “Older and Wiser” mean she’s done riding the carousel and is looking for a beta provider?

  8. Pingback: LIGFY: The End Of October And UMan | Society of Amateur Gentlemen

  9. Correct word usage and grammar counts for me and for any guy with Charisma.

    I also insist on correct capitalization and punctuation.

    Take My Breath Away!
    Might as well write “Looking for the Next Boston Strangler”

    “I’m Ugly and Stupid…Date Me!!”

    You always get what you feel.
    They’re Real and Spectacular, Please Grope Me!”

    Amusing and instructive post, PM.

    • My online dating experiences have been mostly good so far. That means, nothing bad, most okay, some good, some very good, and some great. The entitled, flaky, and bitchy weeded themselves out before even attempting to meet. Also maybe I have a higher sensitivity for red flags. The only slight disappointment (or I should say confirmation of what I suspected) is that ‘average’ means at least ‘a few extra pounds’. But that’s what it seems to mean in the US today. Any time when I ignored the red flags they were confirmed later. Having said this, most profiles seem to have been written by the same entitled, flaky, bitchy, woman, with a lot of them essentially being rants, threats, and insults, often right from the motto line. I would like to ask them how they would feel if they saw at the entrance of a department store a sign reading: “no bitches, no fatties, no sluts, no cunts, no gold diggers, no shoplifters, no flakes”.

  10. I remember a couple years back I started a hotornot profile just to see what I was on the 1-10 scale for roissy’s SMV quiz. It was funny because to open the profile you have to write about yourself before they approve it. I remember writing something like,”Hey, I’m a college student. I like to play piano and take walks outside. Sunshine is the best. I like music and Ray Bradbury novels and cute animals. I laugh too much and Jesus is my savior.” I thought it was so awkward but you’d be surprised how many messages I got, it was absurd. I remember some guys mentioning that I had depth or my profile was refreshing. I don’t know if they read anything but if you have to surf through 100 profiles of “No drama, no players, blahblahblah” to read one where the woman actually talks about herself and isn’t bitching out your gender, I can kind of see why my awkward blurb would actually be refreshing to read.


    What’s your opinion on this woman’s review of dating profiles?

  12. “Guaranteed more fun than your ex!”

    Now that is saleswomanship. Would message her

  13. I want to try something…you write an “ideal” profile for a woman and I’ll find an online dating site to try it out on…it might even be something simple like CL…I’ll blog about the results and dates I go on

  14. The 18-27 year old girls write the exact same headlines on POF, too.

  15. Titanium on said:

    Live, love, laugh…I guess that’s better than eat, pray, love.

  16. Re read all those again, and realize one combined result… ALMOST all women are in a relationship on pof, they are only ONLINE because its NOT cheating, going to a bar they will have to fight with the bf, but being on a datesite, quietly, privately, without anyone seeing them. ( hence hidden profile pics but! will show ya if you message, and guys I have over 10,000 messages in a year from women OVER 100 kms away… around my nieghbourhood maybe 6 messages a year. ) Its like the ole saying what happens in vegas stays in vegas… well most women cant afford a trip anywhere.. so the little “affair” will have to be over 100kms or miles.. Understand if your just on there to get laid.. message the over 150 miles away ones.. you’lll have better luck, and if your looking for a local keeper.. be patient.. it will take FOREVER.. and needless to say you’ll be in-twinded in a basket of 4 – 8 other men also trying to accomplish what you are..

    yep 5 years internet dating research, im 1/3 completed my own datesite.. ( 2014 )

  17. oh one more.. JUST TESTING THE WATERS… BEWARE!..

    I have a female friend who is a cop in toronto.. and as most females jobs as a cop they goto the domestic calls.. well.. like a canvaser she walks up to the door of the calls and ALWAYS the female answers.. so my friend says wheres your boyfriend or husband.. the girls usually reply.. they arnt here, she replies well?? whats the call for..
    ” its for that guy sitting down the street in his car”…

    my friend immediately replies.. ok so “POF,, or LAVALIFE”…
    the females usually reply hostily WHAT?? NO..

    no what??

    No im not on a datesite..

    come on you called in domestic but didnt say a stalker..

    ( they usually call her a b*tch )

    then she says admit it or im charging you will ( disruption of police business, or whatever they call it)

    the girls and were talkin over 3000 calls a year.. all confess and say one of the three..

    and my friend says .. see I get these calls ALL THE TIME.. that is why I asked.

    so then my friend goes down the street knocks on the usual guys window and says … what are you doing?… the guy replies just sitting here.. she replies are you here for “name”… and the guys reply she said she was single, and like an idiot I was worried something was wrong with her because she was all chatty yesterday and no replies for the past 3 days.

    My cop friend usually says.. move on you dont want to waste your time on her.

    * meanwhile if these females heard this theyd probably sue, thats how fkd online females are today.

  18. Alex31416 on said:

    In response to post #13, I checked out her assessment of those selected profiles.

    I’ve learned that women usually convey the WORST dating advice, because precious few of them can see beyond the miasma hovering like smog from Feminist effluvia. They’ve trained themselves to be snap-judgment callous, emotionally frigid, and dismissive to the point of remaining stuck at “Teenager.”

    Here’s my conclusion based on those profiles she featured. The words in brackets are my editorial comments. I also posted the following on her blog:

    “I don’t like most guys, but…” [Yours truly average male moves on to next profile…]

    “Sarcasm is a spice of life, so bring it on. (Guys really, really like to hear that).” [Wanna bet that most of us really, really don’t? Frankly, sarcasm is today’s woman’s M.O., and is becoming as inuring as “Lives Life to the Fullest.”]

    Finally: The root cause of contemporary egocentric dating-profile-writing is that it’s understandably similar to appealing to employers via job applications and resume-writing. Until the writer understands that without the advantage of brand-name recognition, it must be clear beyond a doubt the value that can be obtained, or what kind of experiences can be enjoyed. A photo is a nice “feature,” but it’s what value you can describe about yourself that inspires an online dater to make the next move.

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