The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Flirting, It Yields Interesting Results And Requires Observation

While at the physician’s office very recently, I went into flirt and Charisma overdrive. My doctor is a very nice Jewish woman and the entire staff of the office is female of the white, African-American, and Latina persuasion. Hell, I was flirting on the phone while I made the appointment the previous week. Blanca the Puerto Rican admin person is cute as hell and she usually answers the phone. Phone Charisma is fun for me.

The purpose of such flirtatiousness serves several purposes. The modern medical practice is a busy place. Patients are not perceived as individuals, but rather as diagnosis and treatments. “There’s a flu in examination room 3”, that sort of thing. By flirting and using Charisma, it becomes “Private Man is in examination room 3”. Frankly, I want my medical provider to see me as an individual.

Doing the flirt and Charisma thing also allows me to “game the system” a bit. Based on my diagnosis, I will need ongoing supplies of some medical stuff. If I’m known as a friendly, likeable, and Charismatic fellow, it will be much easier to score free supplies of what I need. Big pharma gives shit out to doctor’s offices and the staff of those offices are the gatekeepers to medical largesse. As well, the vast majority of patients – male and female, alike – act like automatons and won’t present any personality. That’s their loss. A man with Charisma stands out – words, dress, behavior.

Being flirtatious also means being very observant. As a nurse of my age was explaining how to use my new medical device, I was tempted to ask if she had any single female friends. Before I asked that question, I subtly checked if she had a wedding ring. She didn’t. Asking a question regarding single female friends to this nurse would have offended her because she was likely single and I was passing her by. This is not cool because I need free medical stuff.

As a man is out and about in this world, there is so much opportunity for him. Every social interaction is that opportunity. It matters little the venue – visiting the doctor or buying towels – it matters much the man.

You’re welcome. Have a good weekend.


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36 thoughts on “Flirting, It Yields Interesting Results And Requires Observation

  1. I flirt with all the staff at my orthodontists office. (except for the main dude obviously) even the older ladies get light banter, telling them I love their hairstyle, (can’t really use the such n such article of clothing looks nice on you, theyre all in shrubs).

    The receptionists always get the biggest smiles, lots of eye contact, banter, and as much wide smile I can comfortably give (im in ortho for a reason)

    Obviously its overly easy to flirt n play off such open and happy people who love their job n work in customer service but its still flirting under the surface and greatpractice in a low risk environment with plenty of plausible deniability if you want to pull the trigger on an approach.

    Protip-dental hygienists usually hotties.

    I figure once my teeth are straightened out n the braces come off ill b beaming with confidence and take a run at the receptionist on the way out 🙂

  2. Social game also builds social proof, which plants the seed for attraction indirectly for curious damsels in the vicinity.

  3. wingman on said:

    PM – your post is in the same vein as the one about running errands, and you are 100% right. When my ailing Father (a man of charisma) was in the hospital, his charm and flirty approach won him endless attention from the whole range of nurses and care workers. He didn’t do it in order to get better treatment, but that’s what he got. Being friendly and charming is perfect for the health care system – just think of all the sourpuss cranks these lowly people face everyday.

  4. ProAlpha on said:

    Couldn’t find a better male doctor?

    • It was a matter of how soon I could get an appointment, insurance coverage, and proximity to my workplace. Also, my colleague recommended the practice. I think she’s a fairly good physician.

  5. Great post! Like saying goes, “You catch more bees with honey.” Being nice and flirty in a harmless way goes a long way whether you need something or not. Plus, it’s a good way to build up your confidence.

  6. With women in the workplace, flirting has become absolutely necessary for success. This is because women have two bins for men: leaders (potential sperm donors) and eunuchs/servants (creeps). If your boss is a woman and she is not attracted to you, that means you’re in bin two.

    You’re either above her or below her. Here’s how this works:

    Women don’t compartmentalize, period. You might be the greatest physicist alive, but if she doesn’t instinctively find that attractive you will go in bin two. You’re just another creepy nerd to her. But if you show skill in flirtation and trigger her attraction, she will look for ways to justify promoting you. She wants attractive men over her and unattractive men below her (every princess needs servants).

    Maybe a little more serious than the post called for. But it needs to be said.

    • Hamster Tamer on said:

      You’re no doubt spot-on. Luckily, in Engineering, I have near-zero chance of wimminz “superiors”. Yes, many females do earn Engineering degrees, but few are still working as such by the time “The Big 3-0” birthday rolls ’round… too much testosterone?… or too much accountability? =:O

  7. and why is it a good idea to flirt with the ladies where you obtain goods and services?

    She gets something she wants — Attention. Validation. Affirmation of her worth, and (ostensible) attractiveness to a man. Look at young girls, how they approach older boys and men, laughing at their inanities, flipping her hair and giggling. It doesn’t matter what you say to that 6 year old cutie. What matters is that you’re saying it TO HER. Young and middle-aged women aren’t really much different. Females crave attention, especially attention from men.

    A man has taken time from his day to address her, and her alone, to engage her in some witty banter. A welcome distraction from working a job she hates anyway and does only because she has to.

    Most of the people you meet when out and about would rather be somewhere else. When you approach with charm, verve and vitality, it’s infectious. People want to be around someone like that. Women want to be around men like that.

    You, as the man in this scenario, get something you want — improved service. An inside track to the better services, first dibs on the hard-to-get goods. And if she’s attractive, perhaps her number and some interest in a later date.

    • Richard Cranium on said:

      I would imagine that this would work only if she was somehow attracted to you. Personally I think it’s a false reading of their dealings with you in that they have to be nice and friendly or their job is on the line.

      Chatting up some random retail chick who can’t tell you to F off or beat it just comes off as odd to me as you can’t get a true indication of her intentions. Might just be me though.

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  9. This is pretty interesting, but I’m having a hard time visualizing what exactly you did.
    If you’d like, do you think you could go over some of your interactions in more detail, or maybe provide some more concrete tips for those of who aren’t so good at flirting?

    • I need to think on this. Flirting is a tough thing to describe, much less teach. I need to do some research and find some videos or something to post here. I know that many guys see flirting as an incredibly impossible task.

      • Richard Cranium on said:

        I can relate to this. Flirting is just a skill/talent I’ve never developed and as such I refrain from doing it I always come off as awkward and stiff. Plus I learned long ago that virtually nothing I do or say woos the dames as PM so eloquently put it so I just don’t.

  10. I’m guessing it’s hard to maintain that frame if they all know you are there for medication to treat chronic diarrhea, or maybe some sort of fungal or bacterial infection.

    • Based on my experience there, it matters little the medical condition… just flirt, dammit!

      • “Based on my experience there, it matters little the medical condition… just flirt, dammit!”

        Well, crap. Last month I had a visit with an endocrinologist who was hot. I wanted to flirt with her, but two things stopped me — (1) it didn’t seem like the appropriate venue, and (2) I was seeing her for my low Testosterone (how many women would get tingly knowing that you have low T?). Damn.

    • Any man who can maintain frame and flirt while seeking treatment for chronic explosive diarrhea is a Master of Charisma…

  11. This works for women too. My mother taught me this, inadvertently. Gets everything she wants, just by being friendly and a little…well, I can’t really say FLIRTATIOUS. Just…charming. 😉

  12. Oy vay on said:


    I cannot stand the officiousness of doctor’s offices — let alone the ridiculous cunts who staff them.

    Let’s start with the fact that, oh, 80% of diseases and illness are CREATED by the medical profession — which began largely in the 60’s when the “my son the doctor” crowd entered medicine.

    Doctors can’t get rich unless they keep you sick

    The chicks in these places – the nurses and office staff — are all bitter aged lunatics on power trips. No man has wanted to touch them for 20 or 30 years since they were 30 years old. They scrounge around for $40,000 a year by herding around people like cattle for their conartist paymaster physician.

    How in the world can you possibly be Alpha by kissing up and flirting with these dinosaurs? All for “free medical stuff”?

    Please tell me this post was a joke

    • Not a joke at all. The dames at my doctor’s office are actually pretty cool, especially when someone with a personality flirts with them. Bear in mind that my doctor’s medical practice caters to a much older demographic. I’m one of the youngest patients she has!

    • wingman on said:

      What exactly is the ‘my son the doctor’ crowd?

    • “Let’s start with the fact that, oh, 80% of diseases and illness are CREATED by the medical profession — which began largely in the 60′s when the “my son the doctor” crowd entered medicine.”

      What a moron. 17 million people (soldiers and civilians) died in World War I.

      50 million people died straight after as a result of the Spanish flu.

      Biggest troll I think I’ve ever come across in the Manosphere.

  13. Anaïs on said:

    “80% of diseases and illness are CREATED by the medical profession”


  14. Doctors offices don’t make up diseases or illnesses. If anything my biggest issue with doctors is their assumption that people are “faking” when they’re truly ill. I do agree that occassionally some schedule excessive or unnecessary screening but it’s always within the patient’s right to turn that down (of course, at your own risk).

    • blogster on said:

      More accurately, it’s called “Supply-Induced Demand”. The result is usually excessive recommended check ups, staggered treatment schedules etc. Rizzo and Zeckhauser (2003) did an interesting paper on the incomes of physicians, focusing on the impact of “reference income” (i.e., their ideal income) and the effect a given physician’s income relative to this reference income had on the rate of change in their income subsequently.

      The study showed that should a doctor’s current income be well below their reference income, the rate of income growth was quite high, for those who were already above their reference income, their income growth was low or non-existent.

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  16. Six months ago i had a wicked car accident that resulted in a broken leg needing surgery. While at the hospital i flirted whit all my nurses, even in intensive care. They where so sweet to me, they caressed my hair while monitoring my temperature or my pressure, they brought me croissants for breakfast, and giggled constantly. The guy in the next bed bas clueless, and the nurses where really bitchy with the poor bastard.
    I know for sure that it made my stay at such abominable place much nicer.

  17. njartist49 on said:

    What you’re saying comes down to being the male version of the “Southern Bell.”

  18. John Dark on said:

    Hi Private Man,

    I started reading you some months ago and you gave me some good advice then, for which many thanks. I am a (English) guy in his fifties who has only had two relationships in thirty years (married both of them). Last wife was BPD monster, who left 2 years ago.

    Since I started reading the Private Man I have flirted with every woman I meet. To echo your point, I flirt with the gals who work in the craft bakery where I buy my bread (all of them married). Now whenever i go in they all smile, make a point of talking to me and know my order by heart.

    I have a hobby that involves high-end Fashion shops (in London). I regularly flirt with 8/9s in their twenties. Without exception my charm is always well-received and it gets me all sorts of stuff, from invitations to champagne receptions to expensive freebies.

    And I have reached the point where the “discovery” is fun, and now I sometimes know/can guess whether I am going to get a number or not (which feels like Game progress).

    Many thanks for your views and for a great read.

  19. peteywintz on said:

    Had a similar experience at a doctor’s office too. Except the doctor in question (ophthalmologist) was an old-world dude; probably husband to an old world bride and really old school how he runs his practice.

    All of his nurses were good looking. Engaged or not (the woman who was dealing with me closest was not and had probably a decade on me); I have a real soft spot for people in the health industry. So naturally I brought my best flirt game, but I didn’t really give a fuck about free shit, I was just doing it for the love of the game. Gotta say though, this woman was a real piece.

    However, during my actual eye examination, the doctor always seemed threatened by me. I wasn’t privvy to enough interaction to fully be able to characterize whether it was because I was flirting with all his staff. Such an old school dude should be able to alpha out any (admittedly) inexperienced and unrefined alpha male, but instead he took the beta route and just seemed obviously put off by my presence.

    My eyes were dialated as shit and I was in a real position of inferiority, but he almost acknowledged my dominance by being outwardly frustrated by it.

  20. I wish I had seen this post 2 days ago.

    Yesterday I had my eyes examined and there were a couple cuties in the office. I just didn’t know it was an acceptable place to flirt. (Besides being shy.)

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