The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Archive for the day “October 16, 2012”

Run Your Errands Alone

“Hey, I’ve got to run to the supermarket, want to come with me?”

“Sure, swing by my place and we’ll hit the supermarket to swoop some bitches.”

Gentlemen, I’m an older and wiser man. If any man, any time, and regardless of age, uses either the term “swoop” or “bitches”, it is time for me to utilize the amazing stopping power of the Garand M1. Such terms are ancient history. Grow. The. Fuck. Up. You’re welcome. Those terms are obsolete.

You’re a man. You’ve got things under control. You don’t need your goofy (and possibly cockblocking friend) turning a simple errand run into something vastly more complicated. Maybe your friend is a complete stoner and insists on lighting up in your car. “Dude, it’s just a couple of hits!” If so, time to jettison that friend, on the curb, at speed. Use your right leg without restraint. Anyone in your social circle who selfishly risks your legal status as a criminal is a person no longer in your social circle.

Errands are necessary so deal with it. However, errands can be vital to meeting new people, including the damsels. Getting a month’s worth of stuff so you can cocoon in your nest playing video games won’t “swoop” you any “bitches”. Having your goofy, stoner friend makes it even worse. He’s in the produce aisle giggling at cucumbers while you’re trying to figure out healthy meals as you check out the onions. If he’s associated with you, that’s not real attractive.

If you need minor stuff for your place or yourself, space out the errands and tell no one of your forays to Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Of course, your dumb-ass friends have no knowledge of this. Women love such types of stores and you, as a man in control of his life, exhibits style and confidence when selecting some comfy towels to replace the wretched rags draped haphazardly over the shower curtain rod.

Such minor errands apply to everything you need. Don’t stock up on everything at once. Buy a portion of what you need so have to return to the big box retailer. Each time you visit is an opportunity to interact with people. Single women have to shop, too. As well, if you’re on a mission to find a specific item, the socially awkward vibe is well mitigated. But please, have something already in our cart of your basket. A dude lurking about the towels or bath oils is not a good thing. NO LURKING!

If you’re not around people, you’re not going to meet anyone!

And leave your weird-ass friend behind.

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