The Private Man

Attraction and dating information for all men

Texting – The Smoke Of the Potential Relationship

I was recently made aware of this awesomely awkward website – He Texted (link below). It’s a site where girls can post texts they received from a guy – usually after hook-up sex – so the website’s “bros” and other readers can comment and indicate if the guy is into her (hehe) or not. The comments from the readers and “bros” are funny as hell as to be almost poignant. Ah, the sweet innocence of youth all wrapped up in the sexuality of hook-up culture, complete with technology.

The fine and epic entertainment value notwithstanding, the mere existence of this website reveals two important concepts. Firstly, girls are clueless regarding how Charismatic men communicate via text. Secondly, texting is a supremely powerful tool when communicating with girls after the sex has happened.

There was a time when a girl followed the smoke (dating) in search of the fire (relationship). These days, the guy with Charisma starts the fire – or promise, thereof – with early sex and then lets the girl chase the smoke in hopes that the fire might still be lit. Texting is the smoke. It shows evidence that the fire might still be lit but can reveal little regarding finding it. This assumes, of course, that the guy is clever or simply no longer interested in bedding again that particular dame.

Text game has been well-covered in the Manosphere and the PUAsphere. Use your Google-Fu on “text game pua” for a huge return of websites. “text game roosh” yields on some tighter stuff that’s likely been researched through actual text exchanges. There is accurate information on delayed text, obfuscation, humor, “radio silence”, etc. Read it, learn it, and use it to help you meet your relationship goals.

There is a big caveat here. Tight text Charisma is best used on the female demographic who has swallowed technology like a girl did to a lacrosse player’s protein at a frat party. Yes, I know that some women over a certain age do text often. I’m referring to the younger set, those annoying chippies constantly staring at their smart phones (and sometimes walking into traffic). Since they are so plugged in to their tech, that’s the only way to reach them. You can make noises with your mouth, but it’s the words on the wee screens that will really get them to think.

You’re welcome.

He Texted


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23 thoughts on “Texting – The Smoke Of the Potential Relationship

  1. Ye gods, that site is painful. Hit the eject button after reading two of them.

  2. Reading these and then looking back at college is a real kick in the balls to how many signs I missed.

  3. Hahaha that site is hilarious. Will waste a good few hours. Thanks for sharing it.

  4. Cail Corishev on said:

    Wow, that’s addictive. I wish they made it clearer which is the guy right at the top, though. I don’t have one of these phones; maybe it’s obvious to everyone else.

    Some good things to notice:

    A guy can send a simple, “Hey, long time no see, hope things are going well” message, and if it’s unsolicited, and 95% of voters will say he’s clearly into her. So if you’re a guy who’s agonizing over whether to contact a woman first, worried about whether it’s too soon, not wanting to look overeager, not wanting her to know how you really feel — don’t bother. It’s going to be obvious more matter how casual you try to sound or how long you wait. Any unsolicited contact will only reassure her that you’re going nowhere. No Contact really is your only option, if you’re hoping to get her hamster running and worrying about whether you’re spinning out of her orbit. I knew that, but this is great confirmation.

    It seems the best thing to text is nonsense. The less sense it makes, the more she’ll try to read into it.

    Don’t ever tell a woman you want her to be happy. You might as well add, “with someone else,” because that’s what she’ll be thinking.

    • agreed totally.

      It’s best to text something like “I just got this pet snake and holy damn the god damn thing eats everything I throw at him.”

      or possibly:
      “hey if you had to freeze apples or bananas and eat one in the morning, which one? And what would you do with the other”

      just totally random….like say:

      “i was just outside and this god damn tiger jumped out of a bush and tossed me a magic jack. What the hell should i do with it”

      always infer something sexual but just make it funny and weird and let her read into it.

      Like you said, never say “just want to make sure you’re safe” or “hope you’re having a good day” or some straight forward nonsense like that. You can just forget about it at that point you just might as well delete her as a contact.

    • Infantry on said:

      “Bring the Movies”

  5. It’s quite amusing to see the hamster up close in an environment where it goes for validation.

    But some good examples where keeping text-Game ambiguous really gets the hamster going.

    My favorite:

    He Texted Me This…
    “I’m at the store picking up supplies for tonight. I’ve got whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and wasabi mustard. Should I get strawberries as well?”
    …So Now I’m Wondering?
    I’ve only known him for a couple days and we had talked about making crepes for dinner one night. I can’t tell if he legitimately wants to make crepes or if perhaps he wants to use these ingredients for foreplay.

    Yeah. He’s really into crepes…

  6. Cail Corishev on said:

    So, what’s the sweet spot here? Should we be trying to send texts that get an overwhelming “he’s not into you” response, to try to make her chase; or ones that get a fairly balanced judgment, to simply get her hamster spinning? Obviously we don’t want it to lean toward “he’s interested,” but I think there’s a case to be made for each of the others. Maybe it depends on the situation.

    • It’s like fishing. You want to bait the hook. If your texts are posted on that site, the ideal would be to have equal “he’s into you” and “he’s not into you.”

      The hamster can definitely spin the wheel against you, but it can also spin it to your advantage, if you feed it the right kibble…

  7. “You can make noises with your mouth, but it’s the words on the wee screens that will really get them to think.”

    As I said here, :

    “I’m assuming we’ll be texting a bit before we decide to meet up again—since women need that extra layer between themselves and commitment, these days.”

    Women like texting for the added level of security it affords them by keeping things brief (beneficial to their flighty attention spans), completely non–confrontational (they don’t even have to hear a voice) and utterly at their convenience.

    However, it also makes being aloof, dismissive and downright cryptic [all of which work well for men but very poorly for women] extraordinarily easy.

    As Roosh said, “calling is dead”.

    Which, like so many other things, is actually far more beneficial to men than women.

    They may believe they have another wall for protection but in reality it’s simply more bars on their cage by the savvy man.

    • Infantry on said:

      I think Roosh is right about this. I’ve never had a good result from calling (in general) until after we’ve reached the bedroom.

      • Agreed.

        And, at that point, why bother calling?

        [Unless you’re not in the mood to type.]

        Since, as I said above, a call generally gives you a weaker hand.

      • Vicomte on said:

        Calling is a great way to scare the shit out of a girl. Not smooth, but useful in certain contexts.

        Usually she won’t answer, and will text back asking what you were calling about.


  8. and… there goes two hours of my life…

  9. Cail Corishev on said:

    Another lesson from this: when a girl’s really into you, she can see right past any red flags. 99% of other people can look at a text and say, “Whoa, he’s already banging another chick,” and she’s still at, “Does he still like me? Should I text him again?”

  10. Aside from the obviously silliness of it all, you will notice women/girls simply REFUSE to take the texted/typed word at face value. (just like some stated above ^^) No matter WHAT you type or text, a chick’s hamster will be going into overdrive – DESPERATELY trying to reinterpret what it means. WHY??? Because nothing that comes out of a woman’s mouth can be taken at face value.


    MANTEXT: “Do you want to join me for pizza?”

    FEMALE INTERPRETATION: “Does he just want to use me for sex???”

    This is really the shit that goes on in a woman’s head. No you narcissistic & stupid bitch, he wants you to join him for some pizza. Full stop. And if you weren’t such a paranoid freaked-out cunt, maybe he could ascertain while you are having a good time over a few slices ….. whether or not you are worth getting to know at all.

    You could text her “the sky looks really blue today”……but because women are so self-absorbed and obsessed with themselves, they think it MUST mean something else, always thinking it has something to with HER – or her vagina.

    Women MUST reinterpret (or read something else into) ANYTHING…. because women know in their hearts they are shitty communicators and are totally incapable of direct communication. That’s why they publish articles like this about “how women are complete shit at communicating”:

    There’s proof and testimony – provided by women – about how they constantly have ulterior motives, slippery intentions, a secondary dialogue , and never mean a goddam word that comes out of their mouths. That’s right fellas, you read it right there, “no” doesn’t actually mean “no”. It means mmmmmmaybe. If you’re a mind reader.


    Some time ago, I tripped on a section of Yahoo answers which was clearly filled with women and girls. The seemingly never-ending stream of stupid was remarkable.

    • “This guy texted me this… what does it mean??”
    • “If a guy texts me at 10PM to say hi… does it mean he likes me?”
    • “Does this text message means he likes me?”
    • “He said hi.. does he want to use me for sex???”

    In her mind , EVERYTHING is about *her*.
    Especially this concept of “using her for sex”.


    “Honey, a man can’t “use you for sex”. Consensual sex ALWAYS ONLY happens if the woman WANTS it to happen. If you willingly spread your legs for a guy and he doesn’t call (or text) you again…. it doesn’t mean he “used you for sex”. It means HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU. Accept it. Being “used” is when someone takes something from you that you didn’t willingly GIVE them. When you willingly have sex, you are not being “used”. You are GETTING LAID. Be grateful.”

    I actually left the above explanation as answer – doing her the FAVOR of spelling it out for her. The dumb twat didn’t even WANT answer to her question. She just wanted to to be told whatever she wanted to hear. She would have preferred to be told: “Yes he used you for sex. You’re a victim of rape.”

    Someone else left her that answer.
    Mine got 6 thumbs down.
    The “rape” explanation got 9 thumbs up.

    Jesus Christ. It’s pathetic.

    • Tom,

      Just wanted to say thanks again for recommending ‘The Manipulated Man’.

      It was certainly eye–opening, to say the least.


      • Really appreciate the gratitude. Be sure to pass it on. Especially to the groom before a wedding. Forget Shakespeare. “the Manipulted Man” should be MAN-ditory reading for everyone with a penis.

    • Already passed it to a couple fellows.

      I’ll continue to do so.

      When I get the chance, I’ll do a post addressing points in it; I’ll let you know when I do.

  11. Pingback: LIGFY – Oct 14 | Society of Amateur Gentlemen

  12. You guys are harsh !

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