Creeps Or Criminals?
[Note: For some reason, the word “creep” and its variations angers me greatly. The way women throw around that word is wretched. Perhaps men need to start tossing around the word “cunt” with impunity. For the record, I wrote this post about a year ago.]
Rarely do I address issues brought up by feminist writers or websites. The back story can be found here. It all comes from one comment from Amanda Marcotte, the snarky and not very intelligent feminist writer:
Women’s need to be safe comes first… the onus is on men not to be creepy.
The privilege and entitlement in the first phrase is patently obvious. Coming from a feminist, the hypocrisy is delicious. It’s apparently a man’s job to keep cupcake safe. I would be quite pleased to protect a woman who gives me love and respect or who is a close friend or family member. I will certainly protect an elderly woman. Random women? Not so much. Feminists, you’re on your own.
I have some degree of sympathy for women and their need for safety. Women, after all, are physically weaker. As well, they are vulnerable to a certain degree of emotional manipulation by guys with the right skills and dark motives. The problem – as Marcotte so nicely pointed out – is that women, in her opinion, can’t quite figure out who is the dangerous creep and who is the guy who simply lacks good social skills. So the StrongIndependentWomen™ lumps all socially inept (and likely physically unattractive) men together as “creeps”.
But there are three categories of such “creeps”:
Sullen loner with poor social skills – pissed off beta who comes across as creepy. He’s harmless but scares women because of the next category of bad men.
Sullen loner with poor social skills and weapons – pissed off beta who is likely to commit mass mayhem or some other act of violence. Think George Sodini or the guy who shot up the college in Virginia.
Ordinary guy with poor social skills – Another creepy (according to the StrongIndependentWoman™) guy but he’s harmless and likely very confused or distraught that he’s been lumped in the same group with the other two types of guys lacking social skills.
Marcotte is quick to dismiss any type of creep under the guise of “safety”. That’s a variation of the ForTheChildren™ defense because feminists can’t quite seem to decide if they are victims or they are empowered. I guess that depends on the situation and what they seek to gain. Quite the privilege, that.
In all reality, most “creeps” are just ordinary guys who lack the social ability to make a girl’s vajayjay get all tingly. No tingles? He’s a creep. The biggest exception is when a woman like Marcotte needs her roof repaired or her gutters cleaned. That’s when the guy must show up, tend to the task, and completely ignore her lest she discover he’s a creep. Unless, of course, he’s a hunky, millionaire handyman.
Of course, the guys with the social skills that cause a woman to get weak between the thighs aren’t always pure of heart. Consider these two categories of confident cads:
Charming, confident cad – This is the classic player. He break hearts with impunity and without regard. Women love this type of confident man and flock to him. Worse, there’s a whole industry out there turning creeps into confident cads. After a creep has been rejected enough times (“get away, you creep!”), he’s not real motivated to use his new-found social skills for good and not evil.
Charming, confident felon – This is the player with the murderous or felonious intent. This confident fellow steals things from women or actually kills them. Ted Bundy, anyone? Oh, he was popular with the ladies even while in prison. It’s this type of man that women should truly be scared of. There are more of these guys then there are the George Soldini types. Murder isn’t always the result, but there are an awful lot of con-men and grifters preying on women.
So that awkward guy trying valiantly to make small talk at a social event is not a threat in any way. Just because a woman finds his lack of confidence to be offputting does not make him a potentially dangerous creep.
Watch out for the smooth, confident player who gets your girly bits all steamy. He’s the one who will charm the panties off you, the money in your bank account from you, and maybe even commit violence against you. Worse, he might have been a creep in the past but has taken the time and effort to learn the appropriate skills (Game) to elicit vagina tingles from unsuspecting feminists. That’s Marcotte’s worst nightmare. “Oh my God, I had sex with a beta!”
The Private Man 
A man’s creepiness (Eww! Creepy!) is not a women’s safety issue. Not unless “safety” means “being safe from ever feeling icky”.
Yes. Let’s remember the big difference between feeling “icky” and “creeped out.”
LOL @ “ForTheChildren™”. The problem is, many women just think however bad the guy is, they will magically be the one to change him and turn him into ‘The One’. Cads, felons, etc. The worse he behaves, the more evangelical they seem to get about it. “He’s a player? I’ll get him to settle down.” And so on. Defies logic, really.
Also, I don’t know if most men go around really conscious that most women they will meet are very small in comparison even to an average guy – even a man who is not strong looking can potentially really hurt you and you have very little defense other than not being stupid and putting yourself in a dangerous situation. However, it’s no excuse to call all men creeps, and a very bad way for Ms. Marcotte to articulate this (or perhaps she intended just to insult!).
Yes. I’ve seen plenty of women who set out to change their man. It’s akin to White Knighting: while the man wants to save the woman from distress, the woman wants to save the man from himself. Neither strategy works. People change when they want to change.
Good thing there are no ‘creeps’ on Death Row.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2003/jan/13/gender.uk
Wait wha….?
@ PM
Please stop giving away all our secrets.
Creepy guy
The confluence of creepy and safe is very fitting for Marcotte. Obviously, any sort of analysis begins and ends with her – in her world. Imagine her as dude – she would be the worst sort of narcissist. Really, imagine her as a dude – she would have NO ability to deal with women at all.
Has she had any sort of relationship with a man? I do have an active imagination- can’t see it now, doubt I could see it with a few glasses of wine.
I love it when feminists want to have their cake and eat it too. “How dare you imply that women are weak!” “Protect me from the creepy bad man!” Come on now.
This is part of what I term “Fourth Wave” Feminism. If earlier forms of feminism were aimed at changing the social, cultural, and legal landscape to accommodate the “equality” of women, the target of the Fourth Wave is the only frontier left: changing the behavior of men.
This is why the “onus is on men to not be creepy” even though what any given woman defines as creepy is an unknown. We know that “creep”=”man I’m not attracted to” but you can’t know if she’s attracted unless you approach her. It’s a Catch 22 that attempts to allow women to control the behavior of men at a whim. The ultimate aim is complete deference to women in all aspects of life. This is not about equality anymore, fellas, it’s about control and power.
Which is, of course, why feminists will fight the Manosphere with every weapon at their disposal and by any means necessary. The Manosphere is like the inexorable force of Lunar gravity, pulling Fourth Wave Feminism back to sea…
This post is perfect serendipity. I’m referring to the latest dust-up in the news over the “creepshots” subreddit: http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2012/sep/22/creepshots-revenge-porn-paparazzi-women. Or see the article and echo-chamber collection of comments at http://jezebel.com/5921747/heres-a-new-totally-legal-reddit-hub-devoted-to-creep-shots.
The entitlement mentality, the irony, the double-standard, and the undermining of female independence all evidenced when women invoke the “creep” label or speak-out against “creeps” is truly amazing.
If creepy is a guy with low social skills, then a player is a guy with high social skills.
Be careful what you wish for ladies.
PS: Also no such thing as a rich creepy man.
Sodini, not Soldini.
The man-o-sphere and it’s denizens need to get over this marcunt bitch and ignore her trolling.
I rarely find anyone creepy or scary, but every once in a while someone seems a bit off to me, and I’ll simply avoid them. But what I want to know is this: do men ever find women creepy and scary? My second question is this: how does one fulfill the mandate not to be creepy? When Ms. Marcotte says the onus is on you to be non-creepy, how do you do that exactly?
There are a few card carrying feminists in my social circle and I find all of them rather creepy and scary. You never know when those angry bitches will go off and get out of control with their hatred of men, and as a man, I don’t want to be too close when that happens.
Women are rarely labeled creepy by men. It’s possible, but the threshold is very high and usually reserved for women with blatant psychiatric problems. This is much different from thee way men get labeled ‘creepy’ for simply displaying shy body language and letting their gaze linger on a beautiful woman for too long.
I think the reasons are that:
1. Men are more likely to use objective language (even if the words are unfair or incorrect). For example you will see words like clingy, crazy, hostile, weird, awkward, or bitchy long before you will see “creepy.” The word “creepy” is more a projection of feelings and not an objective description.
2. Women face less pressure to overcome natural shyness or social awkwardness and initiate opposite sex interaction. So they simply don’t do it.
3. Individual female strangers are less likely to represent a threat to a man before he actively makes himself vulnerable to her (eg by approaching). The word “creep” comes from the subtle, uncomfortable, fear-based feelings inspired by incongruent behavior in a strange person who may be dangerous. This is partly due to male physical advantage and partly due to male desire of female beauty.
4. Even when men DO feel threatened by “creepy” behavior, they’re more likely to assume responsibility for the situation and do something about it. Women are more likely to gossip until someone else intervenes on her behalf. For example, if a guy sees a girl twice and she starts bothering him with excessive attention, instead of calling her creepy to all his friends he will just ignore it or tell her directly to knock it off. When the situations are reversed her entire social circle will know about her feelings on the guy’s behavior before she says anything to him about it.
Oh, and the second question, how to not be creepy?
Social confidence is the only way, and that just improves your odds. Ultimately, the definition of creep is based entirely on how someone feels about you so even a minor slip-up can earn you the label.
Can we talk about women who are creeps? The ones who incessantly send you text messages or try to contact you even after you’ve told them to stop (at least 2 such instances in my experience), or who are very religious, or who don’t mention a word about condoms when you’re naked and ready to have sex — hopefully you’ve remembered to wrap your tool yourself, because they apparently couldn’t care less? There are no fewer female creeps than male ones.
The feminists are just figuring out that grrrl power and encouraging dangerous behaviours has left them without a functioning intuition. (You can only over ride it so long) Throw in the fact that unchecked hypergamy is not adverse to dark triad traits and they’re spooked.
She’s a known commie anti-gunner yet seeks the proxy violence of the armed blue knights to her whim.
How enchanting.
How very Stalin-esk.
Manjaw on a broad = creepy. Asking me how much I make on the first date = creepy. Fawning over corrupt bastards like John Edwards who fuck other broads while their wives are dying, yet accusing erstwhile good but perhaps socially maladroit guys without the tools to handle broads = creepy.
*yet accusing erstwhile good guys … etc … of being creepy = creepy.
“feminists can’t quite seem to decide if they are victims or they are empowered”
That says it all. Women want the men around them to be submissive and non-threatening so they can feel both safe and empowered. The problem, and PM has pointed this out time and again, is that women hate those types of guys because they don’t provide the ‘gina tingle.
All the more reason to swallow the red pill and ignore those types of women altogether.
It’s fun to watch this dynamic in schools. I worked a middle school special education program for part of a year with kids ranging from those barely conscience of their existence to berserkers who repeatedly attacked staff, students, and even law enforcement. For some reason, the kids who were harmless but “weird” i.e. lack social skills due to developmental delay, lack of appropriate modeling, or from the fact they hadn’t started puberty, were viewed as “creepy, “scary,” and “threatening” even if they lacked working limbs.
Or the other hand, the older students with those histories of assaults on staff, students, and law enforcement had lots of female admirers (including some female staff), and were able to do as they saw fit.
I had a conversation about this recently with a mixed group of people. Why are the women freaked out to be kissed or hugged by that creep Alan, when they are happy to accept the same form of greeting from Bill? Apparently it is because Alan wants the hug or kiss to go further, whereas Bill does not. Of course Bill really does want it to go further, but he can hide that. Bill is running aloof alpha game, Alan is not and cannot. Of course, it helps that Bill is hot and Alan is not.
The message for men seems to be that you need to either be hot, be alpha, or be able to fake alpha to a certain extent. If you can’t, then you are a creep and the best thing you can do is go away and die.
The criminals are never creeps. And the creeps are never criminals. But perhaps they should be…
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Excellent post, and right on the mark. I’m a woman, and agree with this post 100%. I’ve noticed that if a guy is very shy, socially awkward, and submissive, he’s deemed “weird” and “creepy”. I hate the way people judge others when they have no clue about that person. Men do it too, of course, but women are far, far more judgemental, and too quick to distrust.
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